Mary Murphy Tells Of Hellish Marriage: Rape, Abuse

Mary Murphy
Love, Self

'So You Think You Can Dance' judge says she was beaten and raped for nine years.

Bad relationships can happen to anyone. Case in point: Mary Murphy, 51, from the hit TV series, So You Think You Can Dance, who revealed to Us Weekly that she was repeatedly raped, beaten and even suffered a miscarriage during a hellish nine-year marriage in early '80s.

She tells Us Weekly her ex-husband—whose name is being withheld, but who says Murphy's claims are "flat-out lies"—raped her for the first time three months after they wed.

"We'd had another jealous fight, screaming, crashing over furniture, and he said, 'I want to have sex,'" Murphy tells Us Weekly. "I was like, 'Are you kidding me?! We're fighting here!' He said, 'You're my wife, and you'll do what I tell you!' I pulled out a kitchen knife and screamed, 'You’re going to have to stab me, because I'm not having sex with you!' He knocked it out of my hands, held me down and raped me."

As is usually the case with abusive relationships, the same scenario played out again and again. "A fight, then rape, then presents: a dress, a diamond bracelet, earrings. In the first year or two, I'd fight back, but eventually, I'd just lie there. Get it over with, I thought. It'll be quick anyway."

Although the abuse continued and even escalated, Murphy did not seek help. "I'd have black eyes and bruises," she tells Us Weekly. "But I never called the police or went to the hospital. I didn't want anybody to know." Why Do Victims Of Domestic Violence Stay?

She says she got pregnant around 1982. "But in my fourth month, I miscarried," she tells Us Weekly. "My husband was disgusted, saying I murdered our baby, because I'd done some light dancing the night before. I was sinking deeper and deeper at that point, just reeling into despair."

According to, Murphy finally mustered the courage to end the marriage when she found out her husband had proposed to someone else and had another girlfriend in Germany. Bad Breakup? 10 Things To Remember

"That sounds awful and it makes you wonder how she was able to just get through the day living with a creep like that," remarked Celebitchy. "Mary has gone on to massive success as a dancer, dance instructor and TV personality. She has her own dance studio in San Diego, which she opened in 1990, and had a successful competitive ballroom dancing career in the early '90s. She was made a permanent judge on SYTYCD in 2008 and is known for her bubbly enthusiasm and cute phrases like calling dancers 'hot tamales.'"

We wish Mary the best in her next relationship, and hope her story inspires women in similar situations to seek help. 

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