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You just have to get through this one (really big) thing.
By Emily Ratay — Written on Nov 17, 2017
Relationship problems are normal. Every relationship has its ups and downs. People grow, life happens, feelings change… There astrological reasons why an incompatible zodiac match has relationship conflicts. One of those reasons is that people change.
They go into it as one person and sometimes their personalities, especially their zodiac traits create conflict with one another. Each sign tries to work with their partner.
When the dynamics of a relationship are altered, for one reason or another, it’s usually because of both people in the relationship. This can lead to a good (or bad) breakup.
Maybe there isn’t a sense of trust anymore, or maybe one person has fallen out of love with the other after moving in with them.
Sure, there can be some factors from outside of the relationship that can play a role, but for the most part, when a relationship that has lasted for a while starts to crumble, it is usually coming from within the relationship.
But what about new relationships? Or single people looking for a partner? It seems weird to think about, but there are factors that can ruin a relationship before it even begins, just like there are factors that can ruin one that’s been around for a long time.
When you feel like you’re having trouble jumpstarting a relationship with someone new, or can’t seem to find someone willing to date you, it’s because it’s your fault and also NOT your fault… Let me explain.
When you first start dating someone new, you probably put on your best behavior for them. At the same time, you've likely not opened up your heart soul completely.
You certainly don’t want him (or her) to see how crazy you are until after he gets comfortable around you, right? Right. Just like you don’t want him to see that your zodiac sign has severe commitment issues or a hard time opening up about your feelings until he’s too invested in you to leave. It’s kind of like interviewing for a new job.
Sure, your resume looks flawless and it says you’re proficient in all things computer-related, but in reality, you barely know how to make a spreadsheet. Do you tell your potential future employer that? Of course, you don’t! Sometimes, you gotta fake it ‘til you make it.
And then once you get that fancy new job, you can Google “how to make a spreadsheet” on the DL.
But while you may be able to fake your “amazing” commitment skills in a new relationship (zodiac signs, you know who you are) — at least until you get more comfortable with this new guy — there are some things you can’t hide, no matter how hard you try.
Why? Because they are innate parts of your personality that you wouldn’t be you without them, no matter how damaging they can be to your love life. Yes, having commitment issues isn’t great — I would know, I have them — but is it fatal to your relationship?
Not necessarily, as long as you know you have commitment issues and you’re committed to figuring it out (because you love your guy so much). But if you aren’t into the relationship, then what’s the point of trying to fix your issues, right? If you choose not to, you're missing out on a cosmic opportunity.
Before really being able to get to the root of the problem and solve it, you have to ask yourself if this relationship is worth the effort. If it is, then you know that the obstacle you’re faced with is just small potatoes. If not, then you find someone who makes you want to try hard. Obstacles in your relationship don't mean you and your significant other are over, but you both have to be willing to try.
And according to astrology, there might already be a pretty obvious relationship obstacle your zodiac sign has that you just can’t seem to fix.
Remember how I said some challenges are just part of you? This is what I mean. Your horoscope might be able to tell you the sign you’re meant to date, but it can also tell you the biggest challenge you’re most likely to face in a relationship, no matter how happy you and your boo are.
And the best way to handle challenges is to know exactly what they are, so you can work on them like a relationship pro. So, keep reading to find out what your BIGGEST relationship obstacle is, according to your zodiac sign.
ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
There’s no denying that you have a lot of passion for your relationships, Aries, but your enthusiasm is often misdirected. Instead of being happy that your relationship is growing and maturing just like you, you’re worried that things aren’t happening as fast as you would like.
You so often live in the future that you forget to enjoy what’s right in front of you. While it’s great to think about your future with your significant other, it sometimes leads to controlling behavior. You feel the need to keep things to your specifications, thinking that this is the only way you’ll get to the future you want.
In your mind this all makes sense, but in reality, it makes it hard for your partner to really enjoy being with you at all. Unless you’d rather be in a relationship with yourself, ease up on the micromanaging.
TAURUS (Apr 20 - May 20)
It’s no surprise that you like things the way you like them, Taurus, but that kind of thinking only leads to toxic relationships that you can’t ever seem to fully leave. You have a hard time not being judgmental of your partners, especially when they upset you, and what’s worse, you don’t know how to communicate when you are upset.
While your demanding attitude might be sexy in some situations — like in the bedroom — everywhere else makes you seem incredibly difficult to please.
When things don’t go your way, which happens often because not everyone thinks the same way you do, you opt for punishment and revenge on your partner (all in the name of justice, of course) rather than talking it out or even leaving the relationship and saving both of you the stress.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
When you first start dating someone, Gemini, you fall deep into that honeymoon phase, where every little quirk of your partner makes you smile and every argument ends in make-up sex.
You also believe that things will remain the same, no matter how long your relationship lasts because you’re of the mindset that the honeymoon phase sets the tone for the rest of your time together. This means that you get to stay territorial of your things — which your partner isn’t allowed to touch or intrude upon — and stay self-absorbed… that’s the woman he fell for in the first place, right?
Little do you know (or don’t care to know), people change as a relationship ages and if you want to stay together, you need to grow with each other. Just because you’re comfortable where you are, doesn’t mean that’s a healthy attitude to sustain.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
There’s nothing wrong with having big emotions all the time, Cancer – that’s what makes you, you – but letting them get in the way of your relationship and, more importantly, happiness will only make you resent your significant other.
You tend to flip-flop between every emotion and “what if” that it’s impossible to know what you really want out of your relationships. One day, you worry that you’re not good enough for your partner. The next, you worry that he’s cheating on you. Some days you want to stay together forever, others you would rather just be single again.
Putting yourself and your partner through these emotions day in and day out isn’t just exhausting, it’s sabotage. Your inability to choose between loving the relationship you’re in and leaving for good is only making things worse.
LEO (July 23 - Aug 22)
It’s no secret that you love attention, Leo, both from your significant other and from your friends about your relationship, but letting everyone in on the most personal parts of your love life is nothing but a recipe for disaster.
Not only are you allowing yourself to take advice from everyone but your partner, but you’re basically showing him that he isn’t worthy of having a say when dating you.
Your constant need to put pressure on outside views of your relationship is toxic, true, but it’s also addicting. You like having opinions because it makes you feel like you’re less likely to ruin a good thing.
However, you also have trouble internalizing all of your emotions and thoughts, which means it’s not only hard for your partner to get you to open up to him, but you’re already convinced you have everything settled, thanks to outsiders looking in.
VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
When you’re in a relationship with someone, Virgo, you’re really in love. You want to do everything and go everywhere with your partner, and, if you could, you’d probably try to superglue yourself to his side.
It’s so refreshing to see someone so in love with their significant other, but that doesn’t mean you still don’t have problems; more specifically that you tend to let your partner walk all over you.
You tend to compromise way too easily, hoping that you can keep your significant other happy all the time, but all it does is make you keep your real emotions and thoughts buried deep inside of you. And when you keep things hidden, they tend to fester until you finally blow up at your partner.
You often say things you don’t mean or deliberately hurt him, all because you weren’t honest from the beginning. You don’t mean to, but you can’t help yourself sometimes.
LIBRA (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
There’s something romantic to you about being someone’s savior, Libra. Maybe you’ve watched too many rom coms or you feel like you can use your kindness to be the change someone needs in their life, but your good-heartedness is actually ruining your chances at real love.
You tend to see all of your relationships as projects; an opportunity to make your partner a better person, all because of you. You don’t necessarily do this because you want him to owe you in the future, but rather that you see the good in everyone and think you can save them.
Your job shouldn’t be to do this at all, but you can’t seem to listen. Instead, you let your partner walk ALL over you and treat you as practice until he finds someone he really loves. Until you realize that you’re worthy of being loved and loving someone without wanting to change them, you’ll keep repeating the past.
SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
You’re a powerful and passionate person when it comes to relationships, Scorpio, but even you have your fatal downfalls. You hate the fact that your partners are never totally in sync with your thoughts and emotions — which is impossible for any couple — which means everything he does that you don’t agree with is a personal affront to you.
You can’t help but take everything personally, even when you say it doesn’t bother you. That said, like clockwork, whenever your significant other asks you what’s wrong, you either refuse to share how you feel or you grudgingly downplay it so it seems like you’re just annoyed by something else going on in your life.
There’s never a time when you feel like you can completely open up, for what reason, your partner will probably never know. Maybe you’re trying to protect yourself, but all it looks like is that you don’t trust him at all.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 - Dec 19)
You live by your own set of rules, Sagittarius, which is totally fine when you’re single, but when you start a new relationship, you need to learn how to account for your partner’s needs and wants, too.
One of your biggest relationship flaws is letting your personal life bleed into your partner’s personal life, which leads to a lot of crossing lines and invading his comfort zone, just so you can feel more at home.
You want to retain your freedom as much as possible in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you’re the only one who gets to set the guidelines both of you should cohabitate by. Just because you see nothing wrong with open relationships and a shallower sense of what’s important in a relationship doesn’t mean your partner agrees with you.
You need to be told, “no,” often and, more importantly, not let one little “no” be the end of something good because you can’t handle it.
CAPRICORN (Dec 20 - Jan 19)
I get that you want to have a successful, long-lasting relationship, Capricorn, but when it causes you distress that should be the signal that something isn’t right. You absolutely love making your significant other feel loved and happy, but in return, it’s wearing you out.
You often make compromises and agree with your partner all the time without even thinking about your own wants and needs, too.
Not only will you bend over backward just to make him happy, but you’ll do it even if it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t want to rock the boat just because something your partner does or says makes you uneasy, but all it does is assure him that he can do no wrong.
Just because you try avoiding fights and arguments at all costs doesn’t mean your relationship is healthy. In fact, it’s just another excuse you make to stay in a toxic relationship.
AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You can be very fickle when starting a relationship, Aquarius, but not for a lack of trying. You DESPERATELY want to have a close connection with your partner — both physically and emotionally — but your need for space greatly jeopardizes that.
There’s nothing scarier to you than getting so close to someone that you barely recognize yourself as an individual anymore.
What’s more, the thought of ever getting bored in a relationship is enough to make you want to call it quits. You live in a limbo that’s between being single for life — enjoying casual relationships — and wanting to be in love — having that security of being with someone special.
That said, you don’t know exactly how to articulate this to your partner, and your inability to open up completely makes it even harder for you to find that intimate connection you want so much.
PISCES (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You believe that the best and most important relationships are the ones where you have an unspoken bond with the other person, Pisces. You have difficulty expressing your emotions with your partner, which makes it hard for him to really understand you.
BUT you feel like if you have that unspoken connection, then talking about your feelings doesn’t matter. That said, this reasoning is actually a lot more convoluted in reality.
You’re no superstar when it comes to opening up and expressing yourself, but if your partner acts the same way, it drives you crazy. You end up resenting him and the relationship, all because you feel like he doesn’t love you enough to open up to you.
You really just want a chance to act like the martyr by staying in the relationship (even when you feel you’ve been wronged), but really, you just don’t want to think about having a heart-to-heart and letting your guard down.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes. She plans on writing a book in the future.