11 Things Men Do Casually That Slowly Drive Women Past Their Breaking Point
These subtle behaviors can push women to the edge.
Gorodenkoff | Shutterstock Recently, a friend of mine packed up her bags and left her husband. She headed to her parents' house about two hours away from him without a word. Her husband was baffled and thought things were improving. He was the type of guy to assume that there had to be a big blowout for a divorce to happen, and there was none of that in their relationship, so he was flummoxed by her behavior.
The truth was that everyone around him could see the divorce was ready to happen. Men often don't realize that it's the small, casual actions they do that often hurt women the most. Whether it's not prioritizing their relationship or never accepting responsibility, there are some things men do casually that slowly drive women past their breaking point. And these habits can end up breaking a relationship.
Here are 11 things men do casually that slowly drive women past their breaking point
1. Refusing to pick up after themselves
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For reasons unbeknownst to most women, a lot of men seem to think that their girlfriends exist to clean up after them. This is not the case. Men are adults and should be pulling their fair share of the housework.
If a man continually leaves stuff to clean up, his wife or girlfriend will stop feeling like a partner and will start feeling like an unpaid caretaker. This is not a minor issue, either. In fact, a Harvard Business School study found that 25% of couples end their marriage over chores.
2. Regularly rejecting her
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Everyone has moments when they just aren't in the mood to do certain things. Whether it's due to health, being full from dinner, or just being tired doesn't matter — what does matter is that you should have the right to say no. However, there's such a thing as rejection fatigue.
If a person feels continually rejected by their spouse, it can and will end up hurting their feelings. They may start to feel neglected and unattractive, especially if the man in question behaves like he's no longer interested in his partner. Unfortunately, this is one of the things men do casually that slowly drive women past their breaking point and can end a relationship.
3. Negging her
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Negging is the act of using mean-spirited jokes or remarks that are designed to make a woman feel more insecure about herself. It might make certain women act more interested, but it's not a wise choice. It hurts people.
According to dating coach Joe Amoia, negging is a form of manipulation, and "A person uses emotional manipulation to play off the weakness and insecurities of another to make themselves feel better or more powerful." Eventually, hearing too many of these remarks can and will break your partner's confidence, as well as your relationship.
4. Ignoring special occasions
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Everyone has certain days they tend to hold sacred — birthdays, wedding anniversaries, commemorations of important milestones, or days that held personal tragedies for them. These are days that need to be treated with respect.
Forgetting an anniversary can happen once in a while, but if you repeatedly ignore her special days, she will notice. And it will hurt far more than you might expect. Those types of days matter, and no, you can't just move the celebration to another day. They're on those days for a reason.
5. Asking her to give up things that matter to her
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We've all heard about men who started to date the woman who didn't want kids and didn't want the housewife life, only to slowly badger her into giving up her career and childfree lifestyle. It may seemingly work well for the man, but most of the time, you can see the life draining out of the woman's eyes.
Eventually, what ends up happening is that the woman in question stays quietly miserable, feeling trapped by the man who was supposed to "love her." The resentment shows, especially when the man in question tries to get her attention. The moral of the story is clear: choose a partner who actually wants the same things you do.
6. Regularly criticizing her
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Being overly critical is another of the things men do casually that slowly drive women past their breaking point. Because constant criticism is not pleasant, no matter who you are. It eats away at your self-esteem and starts to hurt in a way that you might not even be able to fully enunciate.
Criticism can be constructive, yes, but after a certain point, it stops being able to construct anything. It just becomes hurtful. As psychotherapist David Braucher pointed out, "When we struggle with an aspect of emotional intimacy, we experience discomfort in our relationship. If we don't realize that the discomfort is a result of our own issues, we become overly critical of our partner."
7. Eyeing other women and flirting with them
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One of the things men do that truly infuriates people is flirting with or eyeing other women, especially when it's directly in front of their partners. It's incredibly disrespectful to their wife and eats away at her confidence.
Even if you're not overtly cheating, this type of "micro-cheating" eventually breaks women down. Could you imagine if your girlfriend or wife did that to you, and how devastating it would feel?
8. Never accepting responsibility for bad behavior
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We've all met the guy who refuses to take blame for anything he does or anything that happens to him. It's not his fault that he didn't unload the laundry, nor is it his fault he got fired. Someone else is always to blame.
Everyone makes mistakes, but when you make a mistake that hurts your wife, saying you're sorry and that it actually is your fault can make a huge difference in how she feels. But never accepting blame or responsibility for bad behavior is yet another of the things men do casually that slowly drive women past their breaking point. Because if you continually refuse to take blame for anything that you do, it's going to wear on her.
9. Leaving her alone
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There are plenty of shows about infidelity, where hearing women say they started an affair because they were so lonely almost becomes a trope. There's a lot of truth to this trope, even if that doesn't quite make sense for the man in question.
When you're in a relationship, you want to actually be around the person you're tied to. You want to have quality time together. You want to be able to recount recent memories with each other. If you've been making her feel like a single woman, you're likely going to end up being single yourself.
10. Intentionally ignoring her
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Sometimes, women reach their breaking point when their guy starts ignoring them intentionally. Whether it's not stopping playing video games while she tries to explain why she's upset, or just not being able to get his attention for important matters, this can push her over the edge.
She might stop talking, pack her bags and leave. And while many men don't do this as blatantly or as disrespectfully, they still do have a tendency of ignoring what their wives say. If a woman is nagging, they're actually begging you to listen to them. If arguments and "nags" suddenly cease, that's a warning sign that they've resigned themselves to living without you.
11. Refusing to prioritize her
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There's story after story of a woman getting ready to divorce her husband because she got fed up with being put in last place in terms of priorities. Husbands who end up "blindsided" are shocked when their wives say enough is enough after placing their moms, their dads, their friends, and their work buddies as a priority before them.
The truth is that your partner should be your number one. If you constantly put her dead last in line, she's going to eventually internalize that as a sign that she's not worth loving.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
