Find Love In 2014 By Changing Your Thought Patterns

Love, Self

Obsessing over a random guy and negative self-talk may be damaging your chances at true love.

Do you often wonder why you are still single? Are you are just unlucky or cursed in love? All the good ones are taken? How often do you think to yourself — it is because I'm fat, too skinny, not pretty enough, stupid, poor, or whatever reason you tell yourself?

STOP with the negative thinking. There are plenty of good singles out there! In fact, you are one of them if you would just believe in yourself. Overweight, underweight, unattractive, unintelligent, and people who do not have a lot of money — all have found love, long term relationships or marriage. Instead of focusing on the problems, focus on the solution.

Another reason to let go of negative thinking is that it can create reality for you. How? Take the case of my client, Shelia, (not her real name) as a good example. Shelia was cheated on during her marriage. She believed the majority of men are cheaters. Shelia went through a couple more relationships with men who were womanizers. When she came to me for a reading, my guides let her know that she needed to give up this belief. In additional coaching and healing sessions she learned to release this negative belief and thought. Shelia is now in a nice relationship with a man who has no problem being faithful with her.

Some singles will obsess about a prospect. In my practice I see a lot of women do this but men do it too. It could be someone at the office, in your apartment building, or the man you see at the coffee shop every day. They fantasize about the future with this stranger on a date, becoming an item, having wonderful conversations, and getting married. Rest assured, the fantasy will never be reality because you cannot gauge someone's thoughts, feelings, or interactions.

How do I know about obsessions? Because I have had plenty of my own. In fact, that is how I came with the erase button over twenty years ago. I pretended that I had an erase button on my right temple, I would push the button, and presto it would erase the obsession. I have to admit that there were times my temple got a little sore. But after a while it did work. By the way, not one obsession ever lead into a relationship for me. 

Here is another common scenario — a woman that I will call 'Susie Q' goes out on a date and has a wonderful time with a man she is really attracted to. They laugh, have so much in common, and the chemistry between them is electric. Or at least Susie Q thinks so. After a day, week, or couple of weeks of obsessing she calls me up and asks me the famous question — when is he going to call?

There could be many reasons why he did not call. She was so infatuated with him that she misinterpreted his attraction. He liked her as a friend only. He is married, felt guilty about cheating, and is sticking with his wife. He got back together with his ex-girlfriend. He met someone else he liked better. He had a death in a family. His cell phone died and he lost all his numbers. He was only pretending to be interested, realized you were not an easy lay, and decided not to bother. He really was interested but divine timing is off. Whatever the reason it has nothing to do with how attractive you are or your value as a person. Get back out in the field!

The following is very frustrating for singles. You have been dating a wonderful man for a month, couple of months, or six months and he disappears. Your obsessive mind goes into overload. What happened? Is it something you did? Did he find someone else? You might worry and find it hard to focus. You might send many texts or call like crazy but this is NOT recommended. He might need a time out to re-evaluate the relationship. He could be one of those singles who gets close but is afraid of commitment. Maybe he realized that you are not what he is looking for and has moved on. He could be playing the game I love you, go away. If it is meant to be, he will be back. If not, hopefully he will be mature enough to give you closure. Unfortunately, sometimes you have to make your own closure.

The above examples are just some of the negative or obsessive situations that can happen to singles. The important thing is to notice that you are doing it. Then, you can take action. Set an alarm for fifteen minutes to allow yourself to obsess. Afterwards, keep hitting the erase button. The last action steps to take are to focus on yourself, live your life, and open yourself up to another person to love.

You are invited to join the class Single Solutions to Find Love that starts on February 3, 2014. If you need one on one help with positive thinking, contact Pamela at www.pamelacummins.com

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