5 Simple Ways That You Can Make Your Marriage SO Much Happier

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Buzz, Love

Happiness is a choice.

If you haven't noticed, over the past few years, there's been a resurgence in the "Happy" movement. Remember the song "Happy" by Pharrell Williams?

How long was that on the charts? That song touched such a nerve that there have been over a thousand homemade "Happy" videos created in over 94 different countries. THAT is how eager people were to throw their cares to the winds and just be happy for a change.

But, with that in mind, why hasn't our new preoccupation with being "Happy" been a boost for modern marriages?

One reason is that our culture dictates that we take care of our self before others.

According to Esther Perel, sex therapist and author of Mating in Captivity, millennials have trouble trading in their individualistic culture to build something with another person and, when they do, it's usually in order to create a strong bond with the children at the expense of the marriage.

Another reason the happy movement hasn't made it into our marriages is that we tend to focus on the smallest percentage of happiness that we can't easily change.

Psychologist Kennon Sheldon and co-author psychologist Sonja Lyubminsky of the University of California have stated the circumstances of where we live, how much money we have in the bank, and even the quality of our marriages only account for 10 percent of our happiness.  

The remaining 40 percent is within our control, how we think and behave. This indicates that our happiness can be greatly influenced by what we do and if the number is anywhere near correct, simple changes can make a significant difference in our level of happiness.

So, in order to create a Happy movement in our marriages, we should try these 5 subtle changes to make it happen:

1. Be intentional.

Start a journal about the things in your marriage that are happy or the specific events in your marriage that brought you happiness or joy. Write about the specific colors you saw, the foods you ate or the clothes your partner wore. This type of analysis will help you excite the senses in ways that may have been dormant for a long time.

2. Laugh.

I introduced this topic before in my blog "7 Reason Why Laughter Is A Must." Laughter is a great elixir to the Happy marriage movement.

3. Connect with other couples.

There is truly strength in numbers when you have a connection with other couples that have similar values. You can share ideas and experiences, which may help overcome the obstacles in your relationship or better yet appreciate what you have in your marriage. Besides, you are going to need a few couples for your video.

4. Spice up your life with variety.

You can boost the Happy marriage movement if you add a little variety or adventure in your marriage. Let's face it, don't you get tired of eating at the same restaurant or doing it in the same position? Each of you should take turns trying to boost your Happy marriage quotient.

5. Focus on a cause.

It's time to focus on others, not just ourselves. When both of you can find a cause that is bigger than yourself; bigger than the challenges in your marriage, it can help bring out the compassion for others, which will ultimately flow to your partner.

These subtle changes can help create a new wave of videos that will show the world that, in marriage, you can also be Happy!

You can learn more about the benefits of happy marriages and relationships at my website.