How To Say No To A Guy You're Dating So He'll Actually LISTEN

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Here's exactly what to say.

Here's exactly what to say.

You meet him at a party. You like him and you've got chemistry. Now, the moment you've been waiting for: He asks for your number and it sounds like he wants a date.

He calls you the next day and you're excited to hear from him. That is...until you hear his plan: "How about you meet me at the sports bar around 10 PM. It's close to my house and I'll meet you over there."

You're shocked and angered at his insensitivity. Doesn't he know you're a woman and the sports bar isn't exactly your idea of a date? And it's on the bad side of town? You're certainly not comfortable going there by yourself but you have one small problem: how do you say "no" to a guy you just met and are interested in dating?

The first thing you do is let him know you appreciate his somewhat ludicrous plan.

Say: "I really appreciate you wanting to invite me over to the sports bar late at night, on the dark side of town. However I don't feel comfortable and it doesn't feel good for me to do that."

Then you ask him the million dollar question: "What do you think?" Afterward, become all ears and listen for his answer.


If he says something along the lines of, "Hey, don't worry about it. It's not that late, the neighborhood is safe and you have nothing to worry about."

You've now gathered some very important information: He doesn't care how you feel.

If, on the other hand, he says "I understand. Hey, let me come get you and pick you up. We'll go earlier. I'll take you somewhere closer to your house and we'll get something to eat."  This is a man who cares about how you feel.

It's important to say "no" to a guy when he asks you for something that you don't feel comfortable with. Trust your feelings.


When he comes up with an outrageous request simply state: "I appreciate your (outrageous) offer, however I don't feel comfortable. What do you think?"

A man who cares about how you feel is your man. A man who belittles or discounts your feelings and requests is too selfish to be in a relationship.

Men demonstrate love by being selfless and caring about you.

James Allen Hanrahan is a dating relationship coach in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love.

This article was originally published at jamesallenhanrahan.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.