How Many Times Should A Guy Call Before He Gives Up?

All Heterosexual Males should adhere to the "Three Call Rule" when initially contacting a female.

Let’s face it, for most guys, approaching a girl is no easy task. But figuring out when and how many times to call her before you can label her a bad apple can be even more of a challenge. Luckily for you gents out there, this article will save you time, and it comes from a fellow resident of the planet Venus.

You can pretty much meet a woman anywhere–from a coffee shop to a bus stop, or even a chat room. Today in America, it’s a lot more common to find yourself meeting a potential love interest at work or school, especially if you dedicate a significant amount of time to a certain place.

Does this make things any easier? No.

I know it may be difficult, whether due to intimidation, past experiences, or timidity, for you to go up to someone who may be “the one.” It may feel like you are walking on eggshells, but the fact is, rejection will always be one of life’s ways of testing you and letting you know which path is best. Nonetheless, the reality of it all is quite straightforward. When and how you approach a woman doesn’t matter. It all comes down to whether a woman finds you even the slightest bit intriguing–whether attractive, cute, hot or interesting.

If a woman does not feel even remotely comfortable with you, she will definitely not be interested in you. Sad, harsh, cruel, you say? Maybe, but it’s all about instinct and the law of attraction. If animals do it, why can’t humans? The truth is, we do. Most of us already know what we want and what we don’t want in a man, no matter how sweet, kind, gifted or powerful you are. And this is why some of us say yes to certain guys without realizing the type of message we are sending out, or what we are getting ourselves into. At times, some of us women don’t know where we would like things to go, and therefore we try to not come off as a “bitch” or conceited. This usually leads to the old- fashioned number exchange, which buys us time to rethink and replay the situation in our minds. Depending on our body language, interest can be something a guy can see a mile away–or, we may be giving you our number only to add you to our block list. Or we are interested in getting to know you a bit better, making sure you are not an axe murderer, prior to agreeing on a date. Or we might want a platonic friendship (most guys find this hard to understand), or even just an interest in what you have to offer to us materialistically. So how long should a guy wait until moving on from trying for a girl over text messaging or the phone? Answer: Three to four times. Why three to four times? On the first call, you don’t really know what to expect after meeting or dating someone you find intriguing. It all may seem like it went by in a flash.

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First, start without high expectations. Unblock your number if it’s blocked. If she doesn’t answer, leave a message, but make it short and sweet. Also send her a text message, but make sure your text is short and sweet. Make sure you give her your name and a brief reminder of how and where you met (unless it’s a landline), so that you don’t come off as a psycho or a stalker.

If your first attempt fails, wait a day or two. If she has not returned your call or messages, be patient. It might not mean she is uninterested. Some people have school and work, children or unexpected family emergencies that could cause them to get distracted and not attend to your call right away. At times, there is the rare occasion on which a woman may completely and utterly intrigued by you. This makes us shy; at times too shy to talk on the phone, due to the fear of not knowing what to say or of simply coming off as dumb. And then there is playing hard to get. Some of us may want to test you and see what kind of guy you are. Are you solely interested in sex, or in an actual relationship? Most of us want to see how much you are willing to put forth. We like it when you come off as genuinely interested.

Third call. Wait another two to three days, and as creepy as it may seem (I know) call again. But only once. Leave a message, send another text and remind her who you are, what your name is and where you met. If she still does not respond to your calls and messages, then you should start looking elsewhere if you haven’t already begun doing so. Unless she is at the hospital, having a family emergency, or died unexpectedly, most likely there isn’t a good excuse for this one–unless she returns your call and gives you one. If this happens, don’t start celebrating yet. This can be a red flag (for instance, she has put you on the back burner, has another relationship, is playing games, etc). And another thing–if you do decide that you want to give her a shot and she does this often, you should keep your options open.

Finally, give her one last call and text before you discard this opportunity and send it to the imaginary abyss. Make sure you wait about a week or so. When you call this time, do not leave a message and do not text. That will just make you come off as the clingy type of guy that doesn’t get a hint when it’s handed to you on a silver platter. If you want to have some dignity, please don’t do that. If after your last try you still have no luck in having her return your calls, texts and voicemails, then there is a 98 percent chance that she is not into you, and you should definitely move on.

On a brighter note, look at it this way: The fact that she did not get back to you saves you time to be you, and to meet, chat and date women who are genuinely interested in you and value you as a person. Your original interests will not always be the best for you, and that’s fine. It’s a part of personal growth. After all, you don’t want to date someone who is flaky and who doesn’t even prioritize you enough to take a simple phone call or return your messages. This would not make you feel very good about yourself, nor or would it fulfill your desire for romantic success.

Relationship Coach Shelly I.

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This article was originally published at How To Get The Woman of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.