When Do You Give Someone a Second Chance?


Who ever said 1st impressions were everything was wrong. Give that awkward date a 2nd chance!

By Jane Greer, Ph.D. for GalTime


People are always looking for instant love and romance. Take the new dating show that is set to premiere on Fox in early June called The Choice. Celebrity contestants will try to find their love match in three quick rounds. That’s a lot of judging and decision-making in a short amount of time. What if a celebrity makes the wrong fast choice and sends the possible love of their life away? And you don’t have to be on television to make that mistake. In the real world, how can you know when to give someone a second chance?

So often after a mediocre first date, people dismiss any possibility of a future with someone. He or she wasn’t at all what you’d hoped: he spent most of the evening talking about his work; or she complained about her friends. And what about the clear lack of chemistry between you? You sat across the table, waiting to be released, figuring that you would never have to see that person again.

Might you be quashing the opportunity to become involved with someone who could actually be a partner with potential? Consider this: you have high hopes for a new restaurant and you can’t wait to try their halibut. But the place is much more crowded than you expected, and your fish is burnt. Your first thought is that you will never go back. But there are many possible things at play: maybe the chef was off that night; or maybe they had opening-month jitters. You may have an entirely different experience on a second visit.

Related: 4 Ways to Tell if He's "The One"

Along the same lines, it is hard to know if you will really like someone based on that first awkward meeting. You want there to be fireworks the minute you sit down. But chemistry is really a magic potion of many things that can’t always be created during that first date. He might be shy and nervous, and, because of that, be inhibited and not act like himself.

There are definitely times when you don’t go for round two. Some examples include if your date is sloppy, or he spends the evening talking about the other women in the restaurant. But when it isn’t so clear, if you can open your mind and let your expectations go, you might discover something you really like about the person that can take you to a great second date with room to continue.

I wonder if there will be a second-chance round in Fox’s new show. Without it, will the decisions be the right ones? We might never know.

THE CHOICE debuts on FOX June 7th (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT).

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!

More from GalTime:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.