10 Beautiful Truths About Love You'll ONLY Understand If You've Experienced It

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10 Things Everyone Gets Wrong About What It Means To Be In Love

Love is more then the lovey-dovey perception, it can also be messy, raw and hurtful.

"I love you" may be interpreted differently by others from what you intended.

In the purest form, love is the most powerful emotion there is. It wipes away all the insecurities and doubts you have and it fills you with this enormous feeling of belonging, worthiness, support, and understanding. It is so powerful that it can make you cry from happiness, your heart burst, and you can't contain yourself.

How often have you experienced that kind of love feeling? I hope you experience this every day. However, most of you don't. And the reason is because you put conditions on the love you give. Mind you, you do this subconsciously and it is what you have experienced as a child.

You saw how your parents and the people around you expressed their love and you thought that was the way true love was expressed.

Now it is time to really look at what love really means. Here are the 10 truths about love:  

1. To truly love, you need to trust yourself first.

When you don't trust yourself, you can't access love in the purest form, you will only experience a knock-off. And when you don't feel it, you can't give it.   

2. Love is bigger than the romantic emotional connotation we give it.

Love can be this messy, raw, and even hurtful emotion that pushes you to look under the surface to get to the treasure. It is much more than what the movies, TV, and books portray it to be.

You may (not?) be attracted to what your partner is saying, but that doesn't mean you don't love who they truly are; that is what looking at what is under the surface means. Disconnect the authentic person from what you hear or see the person doing and still love them.   

3. Love is accepting everything from your partner, even the not always flattering parts.

Acceptance, flexibility, and being non-judgmental are the most important things in a relationship, those three trades make living with flaws bearable and are great acts of love in action

4. Follow your own gut.

Your gut feeling is never wrong; it knows instantly what is good for you. Don't listen to what others want you to do, stay true to yourself. Your gut will tell what the right person is to share your live with. 

5. Love is letting go of control. 

Trust in the universe is like flying; you hope that the wind will support your wings. So, let go of controlling love. Rather feel it like the wind under your wings, and don't doubt that the wind will support you.

Love is always there.

6. Love doesn't have conditions attached to it.

When you don't follow the family or societies rules, you are afraid that "they" take their love away.

"I love you but you need to act, behave or follow traditions otherwise I have a hard time loving you."

Does that sound familiar? Don't kid yourself, this happens every day, even when it isn't verbalized like this.   

7. Love doesn't have boundaries nor reason.

To love someone, it doesn't matter where you live, what the color of your skin is, which religion you follow, or which gender you love.

Love doesn't need a reason to love either; it's just there. Love is love. 

8. Love has different faces. 

Saying "I love you" to a child, friend, or parent is a love you understand. But what about when a loved one falls off the wagon? You can love someone for who they are, but that doesn't mean that you agree with what they do or that you have to have them in your life.

Letting go of resentment, anger, and hate is a form of love too that let you and the other move on without attachment.  

9. Love doesn't shame, guilt, blame, embarrass, or discriminate. 

Asking for help when you need it (this indicates that you can't do everything alone), supporting others (this shows that you care about others), and show vulnerability (admitting your strong and your weak points makes you human, and relatable). These are great acts of showing love.     

10. Love doesn't have insecurities.

Love is the opposite of fear. When fear is present, you experience conditional love and that is a poor substitute for the unconditional kind. Pay attention and you will start feeling the difference.      

Pure love is the greatest gift you can give and receive, and it is an emotion that is very hard to explain. You can only experience it. But one thing is for sure; If you feel you have to pay a price by abandoning your authentic self,  then you know you are not dealing with unconditional love.

Yes, I get that to live together, compromises maybe need to be made, but never at the cost that violates your authentic self. Love supports and encourages freedom for everyone, and not keep "love ones" small and under control.

Start with loving yourself, because if you can't love yourself, then how can you love anyone else?

Ellen Nyland is a transitions coach who helps individuals and families navigate life's big and small forks in the road. Contact Ellen for a free 30-minute coaching session.

This article was originally published at Ellen Nyland. Reprinted with permission from the author.