5 Things No Self-Respecting Woman Should EVER Compromise On For Love

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Life is too short to settle for less.

Relationships are a funny thing. We fall into them with excited, hopeful expectations about how they’ll go. Sometimes, because we feel so hopeful and enthusiastic about a new flame, we gloss right over major red flags that we shouldn’t.

This leads to one of two bad situations down the road — Either one of you freaks out one day, drops a bomb about repressing years of crushing, smoldering resentments and runs the door ... or, you look up 20 years from now and realize that this situation, this person and this life is wrong, has always been wrong, and you can never, ever get that time back.

Either way, it was likely always the wrong relationship from the very start, and you tried to “see the good” while willfully ignoring the signs you were never meant to be (like that fact that they don’t want kids and you really do).

Save yourself time and heartbreak by looking at your new relationships honestly. Never settle on these five crucial things:

1. Your personal values

You should never settle for any situation where the other person requires you to sacrifice your values to continue being with them. Negotiation has its place, but the more you sacrifice on this front, to please them or keep the peace — you’re playing with fire. 

You shouldn’t have to violate your morals to have a relationship. The right person won’t even ask you to.

2. Whether or not you want children

Making sure you both want a family (or not) seems obvious, but so many people email me about this that it belongs on this list.

To an extent I get it — You meet someone and they seem perfect in every way, EXCEPT they don’t want kids and you do, or vice versa. For awhile, it seems like they might change their mind or the issue feels unclear.

Children represent a big deal issue that no one should compromise on their stance. Kids are life changing little beings that vastly affect your happiness. Whether you want them or not, you cannot settle on what someone else wants for the sake of keeping a relationship with them.

If you’re with someone who you know has the opposite desire than you in this respect, you owe it to both of you to let them go. It’s just not negotiable because the huge amount of resentment that will eventually crop up is likely more than your relationship can bear anyway. Save both of you the trouble right now.

3. Your major life goals

Widely varying life goals— like, one of you wants to move to the Sudan and the other wants to buy a white picket fence in Cleveland — are going to cause problems. Compromise can help, but it only goes so far before one or both of starts cultivating crushing, relationship-killing resentment.

If you know that your beloved’s ideal lifestyle just doesn’t match up with yours long term, or you would be seriously holding back in some way, it isn’t fair to continue the relationship. No matter how happy you feel now, neither of you will happy long term if you give up on your dreams for someone.

4. Being treated with love and respect

If you’re hurt, angry or upset with the person you’re with, it requires a respectful conversation at least— otherwise you’re selling yourself AND your partner out.

If you feel like they regularly disrespect you and it’s a pattern that your best attempt at rational conversation hasn’t handled, it’s time to make a choice. You can decide to stick around and see if it gets worse (likely) or you can make a new future for yourself. Love is not unkind or disrespectful. And, you ALWAYS owe it to yourself to get out if you’re truly being abused.

5. Being a top priority.

If someone is priority in your life, you deserve to be more than a mere option in theirs. It’s one thing if you’re both on the same page. It’s a whole other thing if they continually toss you crumbs when you’re chasing after them, trying to give them the whole cake.

Refuse to settle for less than you really want in any given relationship

There are too many fascinating people out there for you to cling to the hope that your partner will suddenly wake up one day and realize your worth.

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If you're NOT experiencing the things on this list and wonder why men become distant at pull away from you, get to the bottom of it with a free copy of Elizabeth's book, Why Men Lose Interest and daily email series.

This article was originally published at Digital Romance Inc. Reprinted with permission from the author.