4 Signs You're Way Too Hard On Yourself (& How To Treat Yourself Better — Now)

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How To Be Kinder To Yourself When You're So Incredibly Hard On Yourself
Love, Self

Because you deserve better.

When you're especially hard on yourself, it can manifest in different ways in your life and even impede your romantic relationships.

Maybe you are plagued with feelings of guilt or dissatisfaction because not everything is the way that you expect it to be. Maybe you feel like you need to retreat in solitude because you take criticism or feedback from others deeply to heart.

Or maybe you're holding yourself back from pursuing your dreams or having the love you truly desire, keeping yourself in a safe bubble, afraid to express your true voice.

These are all signs that being too hard on yourself is inhibiting and preventing you from living the most fulfilling life you're capable of having.

However, you can shift this pattern by learning how to be kind to yourself. Understanding where this self-criticism is coming from is the key to changing it at the root.

Here are the 4 biggest reasons you might be too hard yourself are:

1. You have very high standards —  for others and yourself.

Very high. You want nothing but the best for yourself and others, so anything that falls even remotely short of your high standards can seem like a failure to you — cracking open the possibility of criticism and self-doubt each time.


RELATED: 5 Reasons Why It Feels So Darn Hard To Love Yourself Sometimes


2. You notice every detail — about everything and about yourself.

You are the very definition of detail-oriented. You can analyze any situation, assess what is amiss, and come up with a productive solution.

You are like a detective that doesn't miss even the tiniest detail — good or not-so-good. And it's those details that have room for improvement that you end up obsessing about.

3. You are an empath and feel what everyone else is experiencing — and take it all on as if it's your own.

You are so sensitive and tuned in to the others around you that you literally feel what they are feeling when you are in their presence. Not only can this be physically draining but it can be mentally exhausting as the line between what is the experience of another and your own is blurred.

4. You strive to put others first but put yourself second.

As a way to heal the pain that others are experiencing, that you may also feel, you go out of your way to put their happiness first. Sometimes, at the expense of your own. A noble quality but it may leave you feeling drained and out of balance.

Do any, or all, of these 4 reasons you are hard on yourself sound familiar?

Perhaps with the bigger perspective of where these might be coming from, you now can re-frame self-criticism into empowerment by being kinder to yourself in the following ways:

1. Embrace mistakes as learning and growth opportunities.

Learn to love when things don't go perfectly. Use your analytical skills to discover what you can do differently, and grow immensely from each experience.


RELATED: 12 Ways To Get Real About Your Life — So You Can Finally Love Yourself


2. Appreciate all of your unique qualities by recognizing that what you have to offer is a benefit to others around you.

Though you may notice every detail about yourself, what you perceive as either good or bad, you can use this as an opportunity to recognize your unique gifts to others.

Ask yourself, "How does this quality about myself benefit others?"

3. Learn to separate what are actually others' emotions and experiences from what are your own.

By taking some daily time to go within — be it with a meditation practice, journaling, mindful exercises like yoga, or listening to calming music — you will become in tune with what is your normal interior happenings and better able to recognize when something belongs to another.

4. Balance care for others with the time you care for yourself.

By making sure all of your basic needs are met, too, you will be better able (and much happier) to help others. Whether it's being properly nourished, rested, or inspired, find ways to show yourself some love.

By recognizing and acknowledging the reasons why you might be so hard on yourself — but not to be used as another reason to be hard on yourself — you can then re-frame your perspective and be inspired to be loving to yourself instead.


RELATED: How To Find The Most Important Kind Of Love — Love For Yourself


Dina Robison is a soulmate attraction coach and creator of the Dating Deliberately To Attract the One course. Begin attracting your soulmate today with a free audio "6 Ways To Begin Deliberately Attracting Your Soul Mate Now."

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