3 Love Lessons Most Women Learn WAY Too Late

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3 Love Lessons Most Women Learn WAY Too Late

Don't hesitate on taking this relationship advice.

There seem to be many couples who are happily together since day one.

Wouldn't it be nice to get a nice comparison of what they know about how to make a relationship last that the rest of us don't know?

It turns out that research has found some relationship patterns some couples learn too late, particularly relationship advice for women:

1. Playing hard to get prevents intimacy.

There's an abundance of self-help books recommending the grand rule of "playing hard to get" because our grandmother told us that "men like a good chase." The theory is that once he catches you (with his butterfly net), the fun is over and he'll get bored, ready to move onto the next chase.

The reality is that this is how you separate a real man from the boy who doesn't like commitment. Then women complain, "Why can't I find someone who is that loyal?" 

The truth is, a real man who does want to connect will feel closer to you if you allow him to. In fact, men really become interested when you play hard to get with everyone else except for him.

If you avoid his calls, he'll think you're not interested. If you don't share too much about yourself, he might find you a bit dull. Did you know that our brain responds to personal sharing (revealing personal things about ourselves in confidence) the same way we respond to food and sex? That sounds good, doesn't it?

If you both share with each other, you're reaching a level of intimacy you can't just get with sex or by even feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries. 

2. Artistic nagging works.

Did he forget your anniversary again? How about your birthday? Are we telepathic you ask? We just know it's very common. The only reason it's a problem and women get disappointed is simply because what isn't common is "artistic nagging." Reminding him. Telling him straight up you want flowers. 

Mind-reading seems to take center stage as if it has actually worked. There are ridiculous memes circulating social media with phrases like, "If he truly loved me, he would know what's wrong with me by just looking into my eyes." A bit too fantasy fiction. 

Women often complain about getting the short end of the stick when it comes to cleaning and cooking and all the glorious house chores. But the way the complaint is made can make a big difference. If you expect him to "notice" without saying it clearly, then good chances he won't do it.

Then, disrespectfully complaining about it after it's done to only accomplish shaming him kills the intimacy.

Artistic nagging is speaking up with logic and honesty, without shaming. Everyone wants to be respected. Asking for help in a clear way without being verbally abusive may go a long way. Let him keep his integrity and you can get your needs met. 

3. Saying "I love you" first doesn't mean he loves you less.

This bounces off artistic nagging. The complaint is: "If I tell him to get me flowers, it won't have the same meaning." Or "If I say 'I love you first' all the time, then it's like me begging for love."

Just because you go first, doesn't mean you're any less loved. Does your man get shy from getting his "needs" met? Does he say "it's not the same if I initiate sex every time?" Probably not. 

Besides, affection and touch are so important. A study found that couples who rub each other's shoulders 2x a week have lower stress levels. It doesn't matter who starts, but women often mistake thinking they should wait for him to reach out for their hand or offer a hug or say "I love you" first.

But, men have reported in another study that they love being desired and having women initiate affection. 

Unfortunately, the belief that women should wait for him to make the first move, play hard to get, and not "bug" him with house chores, is sadly intertwined in our society as the norm.

What's worse is that it offers no benefit to women, no matter how many people claim it does. In the long run, women will notice way too late what they could've already known if there wasn't so much misguided information. 

Women can take the driver's seat to their love life and feel all the more satisfied and happy.