The (Kind Of Wacky) Valentine's Day Experiment All Single People Should Try

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Single On Valentine's Day
Love, Self

If you are alone this Valentine’s Day, this experiment is especially for you.

Is Valentine’s Day not feeling so good this year?

Did you know that breakup rates are higher right before the 14th? Sucks, doesn’t it?

If romance is not a part of your life right now, all you can see is couples, sappy love, and romance everywhere you look. Florists, candy makers, card makers, and, oh yes, "Every kiss belongs to K..."

Can I hear a big "Ewwww?"

Now I know you would feel better if you had someone fun to snuggle with. If it's not in the cards, what are you going to do? What are you to do if you're single on Valentine's Day when there are couples, hearts, and flowers everywhere? Well, I have an experiment for you to try.


RELATED: 25 Fun Things To Do With Your Single Girl Squad This Valentine's Day


The fastest way I know to cheer myself up is to watch cute animal YouTube videos. It always works. However, sometimes I don’t do it. I think in my mind, "Go find a cute animal video." Another thought pops up and says, "No, don’t do that." Sigh.

Another thing that usually lifts my spirits is by getting outside. This is always a good idea, even if I just get up and walk the dogs around the neighborhood. Fresh air is always appreciated by your body trapped inside by your choices! LOL 

But, Valentine's week is a big challenge and I have designed a special experiment just for you! It's called the Valentine Experiment and you don't need to be single for it!

Purpose: This experiment is based on a strange observation I have made over the last many years. Here is the idea: Is it possible for random strangers to open up and connect with you easier than it is to get your family to do the same.

Materials Needed: You are going to be giving away 20 items to random strangers this Valentine’s day. You may want to give away crisp new one dollar bills or something small. Pick something fun. (The Dollar Store has lots of options!)

This is how you do it:

1. Assess your Valentine readiness.

How did it feel when you read you would be approaching strangers? When I first read about this idea Pam Grout wrote about in E-Cubed, it made me feel awkward for sure. I couldn’t imagine myself walking up and giving money away.

If this is you, you are in the right place. Learning not to take yourself so seriously is the key controlling your mood. Controlling your mood is what empowers you to magnetize yourself to the people and circumstances you are looking for.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being "Hell no!" and 10 being "Hell yes!", how excited are you about giving a little Valentine love to 20 strangers? Write down your score. The lower your score, the more powerful the experiment may be for you.

2. Create your intention.

The goal of the experiment is to focus love and attention outside of yourself and your immediate romantic and family dramas and onto people who are expecting absolutely nothing from you. Here are a couple of intentions to choose from:

  • I intend to surprise 20 people with a small sign that the Divine is aware of them today.
  • I intend to delight 20 people with evidence that life is full of surprises.
  • I intend to stretch outside my comfort zone for the sheer joy of it.
  • I intend to touch 20 lives today and to observe how I feel in the process.

3. Ready, set, go! 

Pick a place where you feel comfortable to start. Plan on hitting up two or three locations. Wish your test subjects "Happy Valentine’s Day" and offer a moment to chat, perhaps a hug.

(Special Success Tip: If you have a hard time getting started, ask the Universe or Divine to show you who to give to. This never fails me.)


RELATED: 33 Snarky Gifts Perfect For Anyone Who Dreads Valentine's Day


4. Record your results. 

Spend a few minutes processing this experiment. Write your thoughts in order to deepen the experience. Here are some questions you can use as journal prompts:

  • Explain any resistance you felt about the experiment from the start.
  • Describe the process of picking the gifts you would give.
  • How did you decide where to go give your Valentine’s?
  • How did people respond to you?
  • What did you learn about yourself through the process?

5. Marching orders.

I know it is nice to have a sweetheart for Valentine’s Day but this year, perhaps, it is not in the cards for you. I hope this experiment has shown you that small tokens of love can make a big impact.

Focusing love and attention outside of your loneliness to touch another life is something you can do every day. I dare you!

The next time that a holiday rolls around and you are feeling a bit blue or lonely, repeat this experiment. Who knows, you may meet someone who becomes a great new connection. Getting into new circles of friends will change your life pretty much faster than any other way.


RELATED: Happy Singles Awareness Day! 3 Ways To Be Your Own Valentine


Catherine Behan is a Dating Coach in San Diego, California. With a Masters Degree in Communication Disorders, she specializes in equipping introverts and other quirky people with charm and charisma (yes, they have it). Curious? Take the Soulmate Quiz.

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