21 Reasons Women Still Love Men, Even When We're Feeling Tired, Frustrated & Angry

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Why Women Love Men Even When They Sometimes Behave Badly
Love, Sex

And that's just the tip!

I don't hate men.

That's something I find myself saying a lot these days. 

It's unfortunate that, in general, men and women don't seem to treat each other well. Culturally, men have kept women at heel for a long time. By the way, that's not just my take, it's the reality of the world we live in, and I will not argue with you about it until we've had at least one female president. Cool?

But just because I am critical of the dynamic between men and women today that doesn't change the fact that I utterly adore men of all kinds.


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Yes, I love men, and so do many other out and proud feminists I know.

Maybe it's because I have a great dad, maybe it's because I have wonderful brothers and a kind boyfriend, or maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones, but I happen to think men are fundamentally good at their core, which is exactly why I keep appealing to them to do better than they have in the past when it comes to making the world a safer place for women.

In our current climate it can be easy to forget what it is that makes men so darn appealing to begin with.

At least, I know that's been the case for me lately, so when I was recently accused of being a man hater, even though I know I'm not, in the moment I couldn't think of one damn thing to say I love about men other than their penises.

Rather than give that answer, I decided to sit down and think about what it really is that we as women love about men.

This resulting list contains the 21 most lovable things about men that first came to my mind. These aren't all of the reasons, of course, but they are the ones that resonated with me the most. and hopefully, some will with you as well! 


1. Their bedhead.  

Because it doesn't matter how old they are, once their hair reaches a certain length, god help them if they don't all look like they are 12-years-old when they first wake up in the morning. 


2. Their eating habits. 

I have never met a man whose eating habits weren't specific, quirky, and weird. I dated one man who always carried almonds and water and was a gym nut, but treated himself to pizza rolls every Friday because that's how he grew up. There's something sweet and charming about the way a man has learned to feed himself, even if it makes no sense. 


3. Their internet habits. 

Is there anything more personal than getting to know someone else's social media routine? Watching a man navigate Facebook or Instagram, figuring out which news sites they read, watching while they frantically try to close out porn tabs, seeing where they do their shopping — it's a bit of the mundane mixed with the intimate, and that is just delicious. 


4. Their weirdness. 

Everybody is weird in their own wonderful way. Figuring out the specific ways in which the man in your life is weird is one of life's joys. Does he talk to his cat? Does he paint his toenails? Does he have a name for a penis? The answer to at least one of these is probably yes. 


5. Their bedtime routines. 

We all get ready to go to sleep differently, but there's something about watching a man get into his PJs and then shuffle around looking for his toothbrush or his chapstick that just makes them seem so darn vulnerable and sweet. It's impossible to ever hate a man who has a special blanket he needs in order to konk out. 


6. Their facial hair. 

Men don't get a lot of choices when it comes to style. They wear suits. They usually have short hair. Their shoes are boring as hell. Facial hair is pretty much all they have to play with, and do they ever. There's even a World Beard and Moustache Championships, held biennially by the World Beard and Moustache Association.

Bless their hearts. 


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7. Their nudist tendencies

Oh my god why do all men love  being naked so much? It's like they know their genitals are bizarre and they revel in it! You gotta love how eager most men are to get down to their nudeness the second they get home from work. 


8. Their sense of humor. 

Who loves puns? Men love puns! Who loves fart jokes? Men like fart jokes! There's a reason that when someone makes a horrible gag we call it a dad joke, and it is inevitable that every man will eventually become one of those guys in the office elevator telling a terrible joke that makes everyone groan — and smile, of course. 


9. Their confidence. 

I hate this about men, but I also love it. Men aren't afraid to take up space in the universe. They are unabashedly themselves! They hold their heads up high even when they really, really shouldn't. It's charming and awful and lovely and sexy. 


10. Their singing voices. 

In the shower, every man thinks he can sing. It's just how things are. And every man has two different singing voices: the one he uses to sing around other people and then the super-secret-sexy-rocker voice they just KNOW could get them a record deal if they really applied themselves. Usually this is wrong. 


11. Their dads. 

Some men love their fathers. Some men hate their fathers. Some never knew them. Regardless, every man has a hot take on this central figure in their lives. When they decide to share it with you in all its intricacy, it feels like a tremendous gift. And it is.


12. Their outrage. 

Anger can be healthy, absolutely, but even when it's immature and silly there's something endearing about an adult man yelling at an air conditioner that won't install properly or a video game that seems hell bent on refusing to let them win. 


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13. Their friends. 

You find out who a man really is when he's with his friends. Usually he's the same person he is with you, only there's less talking and more interjections featuring the word "dude." The friendships men create are different from the one's women create, but they're just as important. 


14. Their sheepishness. 

He messed up and didn't notice your hair cut. He snapped at you when you guys got lost driving somewhere in the middle of nowhere. He farted during sex and started laughing about it. These things all sucked. What didn't suck? The look on his face when he realized he screwed up and came to make amends. 


15. Their pet peeves. 

Why is it that learning what annoys a man is so darn satisfying? He hates it when people sniff. He can't stand the way lobsters look in tanks at the grocery store. He gets easily annoyed by at least a million other silly, trivial things, and instead of that annoying you right back, it only makes you love him even more. 


16. Their communication. 

No one is a master at talking things through, but when you're with someone who knows they aren't a master but is willing to try his absolute best anyway, there is nothing more lovely. He might not always be able to articulate what he's thinking and feeling, but he'll tough it out and try to anyway because he knows it's important. 


17. Their passions. 

When men really love something, like a book or a tv show or a movie or an idea or a politician, they light up like children. There is a reckless level of enthusiasm that makes you want to warn them to protect their hearts, but you don't, and so they wind up arguing with people about the new Star Wars movie and all you can do is rub his back. 


18. Their strength. 

It doesn't matter if he's actually physically strong, because when a man loves you he will be strong for you. He will hold you up. He will be at your back. He will give you what you need. And yes, if at all possible, he will offer to carry the groceries in from the car. 


19. Their devotion. 

When a man loves you, he is your ride or die. He sticks up for you when others wouldn't. He's loyal to a fault. He digs a trench so deep it could bury you both but he doesn't even care because the two of your are together in it. Goonies never say die. 


20. Their guilty pleasures. 

Men aren't guilty about their guilty pleasures. If they love watching reruns of "The Nanny," they will tell you. If they really like "Yacht Rock", they will tell you. To a man, it's like there can never be anything shameful about anything that actually makes them happy. 


21. Their ability to love. 

Men do not have it easier than women do. Period. End of sentence.

We all have our struggles on micro and macro levels as genders, and life is hard on people no matter who you are. And the fact that men can continue to love with big, wide, open hearts just as fearlessly as women do in spite of it all is part of what makes them so damn lovable in the first place. 


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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.