11 Things A Person With Actual Depth Hates That Other People Think Are Fun
Authentic people loathe shallow thrills.
nikkimeel | Shutterstock We live in a world that pushes surface-level entertainment that distracts us from forming actual human connections with one another. Many people obsess over the latest social media trends or watch reality television to relax their brain, but these are just some of the things a person with actual depth hates that other people think are fun.
Because of their authenticity, deep thinkers prefer conversations and situations that have meaning and introspection. They see these habits as shallow and void of the human condition, which often puts them at odds with others who just want to live their lives as free-spirited as possible. While it might be judgmental, people who want more depth in their lives want something different and feel like these trivial delights are an insult to everyone's intelligence.
Here are 11 things a person with actual depth hates that other people think are fun
1. Small talk that goes nowhere
Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock
How someone feels about small talk varies from person to person. While some find it entertaining and fun, others find it to be a nightmare. As a 2023 study pointed out, when small talk goes poorly, people will blame themselves for the interaction going sideways. This is because when we remove our confidence and internalize our failures, it causes heightened anxiety during conversations.
People who are great conversationalists are inquisitive, constantly inquiring about an individual. This is what separates them from someone who lacks depth. The person who sees small talk as fun will want to have surface-level conversations, and people who like to have deep conversations feel this is performative.
To them, small talk is about getting to know someone on a deeper level, and they get frustrated that it's relegated to a few measly questions.
2. Overhyped social media trends
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Social media is guilty of making us frequently engage in false self-presentations, which are highly crafted and misleading personas online to gain likes and approval. A study published in Behavioral Sciences found that this type of behavior fuels social comparisons that trigger low self-esteem and anxiety in the user viewing it.
People with depth operate in their most authentic place, so when they see this artificial content around them, they begin to wonder why society puts up with it. Overhyped social media trends don't make much sense to them, especially when everyone is doing the same thing.
When people are more concerned about how something looks online than how it feels in real life, it can feel disorienting to someone who craves sincerity. For people who like to find meaning in complexity, it can be intellectually stifling.
3. Parties with no real connection
silverkblackstock | Shutterstock
When people who prefer in-depth conversations attend events or parties, they tend to isolate themselves in a corner of the room. It's not necessarily that they dislike their friends, it's just one of the things a person with actual depth hates that other people think are fun.
In an individual like this, profundity is what drives them to converse, and if the group is focused on something mundane, they will lose intellectual interest. People who seek a little more depth in their relationships find people from their area who enjoy the same activities and deep thinking.
Being surrounded by noise without any substance makes them feel more alone than ever. Without deep conversations, people cannot connect or grow with each other. While it can be fun to let loose every now and again, people who are more intellectually inclined will need more than that in order for their friendships to survive.
4. Obsessions with reality television
PrasitRodphan | Shutterstock
People who are obsessed with reality television are just as curious as people who want more in-depth programming. The difference lies in how they feel after watching their shows. Viewers who watch reality television where relational aggression like gossip, exclusion or rumor-spreading tend to show more aggressive behavior themselves afterward, according to research from Psychology of Popular Media Culture.
People with actual depth prefer honest and informative television because they feel it's more authentic. They can see through the scripted aspects of reality television, despite it providing endless entertainment for many viewers.
5. Gossip
Bilanol | Shutterstock
Gossip is one of the major things a person with actual depth hates that other people think are fun. Bad gossip can lead to reputations being damaged or isolation and bullying. However, gossip that is spread for the greater good can not only be informative, but helpful as well.
For instance, a rumor warning others to not make any business dealings with an individual can actually be helpful if they have left their former business partners in financial ruin, but someone gossiping about their friends over the phone to make them look bad is not.
Either way, people who operate from a more reserved space see gossip as a nuisance and a hindrance on intelligence. Instead of speculating about someone else's life, they'd rather talk about ideas, goals, or shared experiences that can grow real connections.
6. Fake positivity
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
A person with actual depth hates that other people think fake positivity is a good thing. In fact, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, presenting an overly polished version of yourself can feel dishonest to others and even to yourself. For someone who thinks deeply, this kind of fake cheerfulness can make it seem like they are trying to avoid having difficult conversations.
Being fake is also a way to damage relationships or friendships. This can be due to insecurities or competition. And until they can muster up the courage to say what is really on their minds, this behavior will continue to invalidate their real struggles.
7. Mindless consumerism
Bobex-73 | Shutterstock
People with depth believe that mindless consumerism has led society down a dark path. Americans spend so much of their time impulse-buying, whether online or in-person. The endless cycle of buying, discarding, and buying again reflects a culture more focused on instant satisfaction than meaningful experiences.
People of depth value intentionality and accumulation. They care about where things come from and whether those things contribute to a life well-lived. The fewer possessions they have the better, as their fulfillment comes from the meaning and stories behind the things that they buy.
8. Competition in conversations
andreonegin | Shutterstock
While others might find a little competition fun, when it comes from people who are supposed to be your closest confidants, it can make it feel like one-upping each other. A person who is in constant competition with you, especially during conversations, will never give you the intellectual stimulation you crave. This is why deep thinkers avoid getting into conversations with these people at all costs.
To someone with depth, good conversation is less about showmanship and more about uncovering something with meaning. When competition enters their sphere, it blocks openness and trust.
9. Performative activism
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock
Some might think that performative activism is fun and safe, but for people who prefer depth they find this type of activism phony. Things like sharing hashtags, posting black squares, or hopping on social causes as a trend feels shallow and offensive. It turns serious matters into social currency, where the appearance of caring matters more than any actual impact.
Many performative activists also expect the people they advocate for to exchange it at some point, making their support transactional. Corporations also take advantage by marketing the movements as some sort of business venture, essentially making a profit by exploiting those who the cause deems vulnerable. A person with depth sees through this illusion and how it's simply a case of saving face, not bringing about change.
10. Networking without substance
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock
Connecting with others requires being authentic and making them feel important, so when someone networks without getting to know another person, it can feel hollow. People who seek authentic relationships find networking without any real engagement frustrating, because it reduces people to mere opportunities.
These same opportunities are the ones that you need to get your foot through the door, so it's best to remember to be your authentic self. Delivering rehearsed speeches without any emotion can come off as insincere and show the person listening that you lack confidence.
When networking becomes disingenuous or performative rather than authentic, it may undermine not only the quality of the connection but also the emotional aspect of it, as a study from Nature Communications found. And most people want authenticity, not well-curated perfection.
11. Forced group activities
Geber86 | Shutterstock
Forced group activities is yet another of the things a person with actual depth hates that other people think are fun. Especially in the workplace, being forced to participate in a group makes some lose their minds because it requires a lot from them, like socializing on a surface level and acting performative.
Others who find this kind of activity fun do their best to separate themselves from the crowd by trying to make themselves appear cooler than they actually are. Forced group activities can feel suffocating to someone who values genuine connection.
When participation is mandatory, the spontaneity and authenticity that make social experiences enjoyable suddenly disappear. Ultimately, a person with actual depth would never want to do something like this.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author with a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
