People Who Struggle To Enjoy Life Often Fall Into These 7 Thinking Traps
The kind of thoughts that keep people trapped in their own sadness.
Naitian Tony | Unsplash Are you wondering what depression looks like? Are you feeling not yourself? Have you been wondering, "Am I depressed?" Noticing the signs of depression is a key part of accepting that you might be depressed. And an important part of managing your depression symptoms is accepting them. You can more easily do that by looking out for the thinking traps that will keep you from enjoying life.
I struggled my whole life with severe depression, but wasn’t diagnosed until I was 42. Think of all the life that I wasted being sad. The earlier you diagnose your depression and get yourself out of self-defeating thinking traps, the faster and easier you can treat it. Don't wait until it's too late.
People who struggle to enjoy life often fall into these 7 thinking traps:
1. They feel hopeless
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Are you struggling with feelings of hopelessness? When you think about the future, are you filled with dread because your future looks so bleak?
When we are depressed, positively looking to the future is impossible. When we are depressed, it’s hard to imagine that we will ever feel any differently than we do right now, so the idea that the future might be bright is impossible to imagine.
We must recognize that hopelessness is one of the signs of depression because hopelessness is one of the most insidious signs of depression. After all, it can lead to thoughts of suicide. So, understand that your hopelessness is in your head because of your depression and that seeking help is the best thing you can do to manage it.
2. They can't shut off their brains
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Are you having trouble sleeping? Are you sleeping way more than you used to? Do you feel like you can't shut off your brain?
Changes in sleeping patterns are one of the major signs of depression. We sleep less because we often lie awake with thoughts of hopelessness and dread keeping us up.
On the other hand, we sleep more because our body feels heavy and our mind is tired, and sleep is the ultimate escape, if only for a bit. If your sleep patterns have changed, recognize that it is one of the signs of depression and seek treatment.
Sleep, especially REM sleep, is crucial for processing and regulating emotions experienced during the day. When sleep is disrupted, the ability to regulate emotions can be impaired, potentially leading to increased negative feelings and difficulty experiencing positive ones. Research also shows that when struggling to enjoy life, individuals might have a heavier cognitive load of negative thoughts and worries, which can also interfere with the ability to relax and fall asleep.
3. They feel apathetic
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Are the things that have always made you happy things that you now find unthinkable to do? I know when I get depressed, doing things that I've always loved to do (like hiking, reading, or life coaching) is almost impossible. Instead, I lie around and watch TV and shut myself off from the things that make me happy.
And lying around watching TV sinks me into a deeper depression than I had before. Ironic, no? So, if you are struggling to do the things that you love, you might be suffering from depression, and it’s time to seek help.
4. They feel listless
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One of the easiest signs of depression to notice is a distinct listlessness. Do you have less energy than you used to? Does getting off the couch or out of bed seem simply impossible?
I always say that my depression is a 100lb gorilla on my back, one who comes along with me doing my everyday tasks, but who makes doing them way more difficult because of its weight. So, if you are struggling more than before with having the energy to live your life, you might be depressed, and, again, seeking help would be a good idea.
Persistent listlessness and anhedonia can significantly impact daily functioning and quality of life, affecting relationships, work or school performance, and overall well-being. Research has shown that social isolation, unhealthy lifestyle choices, and substance abuse can further exacerbate this feeling of listlessness.
5. They feel angry and impatient
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Do you find yourself quick to anger or impatient with those you love more than you used to? Are your co-workers complaining because you are difficult to work with? Is your husband staying away because your irritation with him has grown?
Do you find the kid’s bedtime routine can enrage you in a way that it hasn’t before? Being more angry and impatient than usual can be one of the signs of depression, and seeking help will be important before that anger harms your life and your relationships.
6. They feel isolated
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One of the major signs of depression is the tendency to isolate. When we are depressed, the idea of spending time with other people is almost unbearable. The thought of interacting with people in any way fills us with such a feeling of hopelessness and dread that we just can’t do it.
Ironically, one of the best coping skills for managing depression is to spend time with those you love, to laugh and live, and to push that depression to the side, if only for a while. Are you finding yourself wanting to keep away from others more than usual? If you do, you could be depressed, and you need to get help before your isolation makes everything worse.
A 2024 study explained that people struggling to enjoy life often experience social anxiety, an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected by others. This can lead to a lack of motivation or drive to seek out social situations, as the potential rewards of social engagement seem diminished or non-existent.
7. They feel like they don't matter
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One of the biggest signs of depression, but one of the hardest to spot, is self-loathing. People who are depressed, people who are hopeless, listless, angry, and isolated, are people who don’t like themselves.
They don’t like the behaviors they are displaying, the hurt they are causing people, or the lack of interest in things that make them happy. They feel bad because getting up off the couch is truly impossible, and what a loser they must be.
Furthermore, because there is such a stigma around depression, people who are depressed blame themselves for their mindset. They believe it when people tell them to "suck it up" or "snap out of it."
They believe that, because they can’t manage their mood, they are losers. And believing that you are a loser will only exacerbate your depression.
So, if you are struggling with your self-esteem right now, in a way that you haven’t before, then you could very well be depressed. I want you to know, very clearly, that the causes of depression are not your fault.
It is something that has happened because of a chemical change or a life occurrence. It’s not something that you can just brush off. But it is something that you can deal with by seeking help.
So, do it! Learn how to deal with depression. Notice that you're feeling hopeless, have a change in your sleeping patterns, have no energy or interest in doing things, are quick to anger, and don’t like yourself. The quicker you seek treatment, the easier your depression will be to manage.
If you or somebody that you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, there is a way to get help. Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or text "HELLO" to 741741 to be connected with the Crisis Text Line.
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate who works exclusively with women to help them be all they want to be. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, and Psych Central, among many others.
