12 Things Introverts Do On A Regular Basis That Confuse An Average Person
Introverts tend to want one thing, but then do another.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock Introverts get a bad rap. When someone finds out another person is an introvert, they may automatically assume they don't like others, hate socializing, and are painfully shy. And while those all may be somewhat true, there's a lot more to introverts than what's on the surface.
Introverted people are a bit perplexing in the way they think. In fact, there are certain things introverts do on a regular basis that confuse an average person. Whether it's being selective about the company they keep, their hidden spontaneity, or refusing to open up despite wanting to form connections, introverts are quite an anomaly.
Here are 12 things introverts do on a regular basis that confuse an average person
1. They're selectively private
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Introverts tend to be incredibly private about their personal lives and thoughts, but deep down, they're yearning to share what's on their mind with others. They're just waiting for somebody to ask them questions so they can respond.
Research has found that people are keeping around 13 secrets at any given time, but for introverts, it's mostly their own personal information they keep close to the chest. And though behavioral scientist Jordan Bridger says people commonly do this to "protect their view of themselves," because introverts are so confusing, they want to have their cake and eat it too.
2. They appear calm on the outside but are falling apart on the inside
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Introverts project a calm exterior, while inside they are screaming for some kind of emotional relief. They're able to hide their feelings for others, making it difficult for them to read what they're thinking.
They put on an act as if everything is just fine, when really, their entire world could be running haywire. And even if they're experiencing turmoil of any kind, even their closest friends and loved ones will never realize it.
3. They suffer from extreme FOMO
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One of the things introverts do on a regular basis that confuse an average person is continually saying they don't want to go out and be social, but then suffering from the fear of missing out (FOMO). Deep down, they want to be the life of the party, despite enjoying alone time to recharge.
A quiet Friday evening at home is ultimately their idea of a perfect night. But they often dream of being out and about in crowds of people. When the opportunity arises to do that, they may quickly snap out of it and retreat back into their shell.
4. Their personality changes depending on who they're with
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Despite coming off as anti-social, when introverts know the people they're with extremely well, they're very fun and know how to let loose. But they're shy and quiet around strangers or in large groups of people. Only a select few know their true, raw personality.
According to author Martin Vidal, "One large way our personality changes from person to person is simply from concealment. We're more private, more inhibited around people we don't know well... Our personality changes around different people depending on the dynamic we have with them."
5. They want to hang out without being social
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Wanting to be around people but not wanting to actually socialize is one of the strange things introverts do on a regular basis that confuse an average person. Whether it's their best friend or romantic partner, they find comfort in being in the same room with them, but not engaging in verbal communication of any kind.
Perhaps they were very social the day before and need a break, or simply want company, but either way, this way of thinking may annoy the people closest to them.
6. They're socially awkward
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One minute, introverts are absolutely hysterical and clever while texting, but in person they become very awkward and skittish, especially if they're meeting someone for the very first time.
Research published in the journal Societies determined that being awkward in person but not online is common, as online interactions give people more control and allow them to think about their responses. And for introverts, it's a curse to be so witty over the phone and not be able to form a coherent sentence in real life.
7. They have trouble finding the right words
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Despite spending so much time in their own thoughts, introverts tend to have trouble verbalizing how they feel and what they think. Very few people understand this tendency, and sometimes, introverts don't even understand why this happens.
According to Jenn Granneman, author of "The Secret Lives of Introverts," "Word retrieval can be especially tricky for introverts because we process information deeply. We chew on ideas, turning them over and looking at them from every angle. And when you're thinking deeply — even about something as simple as what to make for dinner — it can be hard to shift gears and speak. Unlike extroverts, many introverts don't 'think out loud.' We process things inwardly. Quietly. Often without words."
8. They're too shy to participate
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In school or at work, even if they have great ideas and want to share them, it's like they get stage fright when it comes time to participate. They know the answer to the question or a way to solve a problem, but they won't be caught dead raising their hand to weigh in.
The thought of everyone looking at them while they speak is not only terrifying, it's unthinkable.
9. They don't want to be lonely
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One of the things introverts do on a regular basis that confuse an average person, perhaps the most perplexing habit of theirs, is wanting to be left alone and do everything themselves, but not wanting to feel lonely.
Introverts are perfectly content doing things themselves, but they fear loneliness. Sometimes, all they crave is the company of another person, even though, at times, they feel all alone in a room full of people.
10. They're indifferent in times of emotional turmoil
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Because introverts tend to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves, when they're going through a tough time, they have trouble deciding if they want to be consoled or if they want to be left alone to recover.
They like the idea that people are there for them in times of need, but they usually want their loved ones to comfort them from afar. "The less safe and more vulnerable an introvert feels, the less they tend to share. We need to feel especially secure and confident before revealing our personal thoughts. Critical and judgmental people will push us further into ourselves," intuitive introvert and writer Brenda Knowles revealed.
11. They want deep connections, but won't open up
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Introverts crave deep, profound connections with others, but always find it difficult to actually open up to them. Even if they've known the person for years, they may hold back certain information about themselves and refuse to be vulnerable. However, this is much more common with strangers.
Though people have misconceptions about introverts being very into alone time, they actually want to make meaningful connections. Unfortunately, they can't seem to give that part of themselves away.
12. They have sparks of spontaneity despite being huge planners
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People who are introverted tend to plan things ahead of time, whether it's a weekend trip, a night out with friends, or even what they want to do with their free time. But they also have a need for spontaneous action, though they won't readily admit it.
Being free-spirited may be in their blood, but they still have the desire to make detailed plans before acting. They want to stay in control, while simultaneously allowing the universe to guide them.
Andrea Davis is a freelance writer, photographer, and social media influencer who covers lifestyle, health, fitness, and relationship topics.
