9 Things You Do That Show You Have High Standards In Life, According To Psychology

Having high standards doesn't mean being unrealistic or difficult to please. It means understanding that how you show up in the world matters, that your time and energy are precious resources, and that you deserve relationships that genuinely serve your growth and happiness.

Looks and success have some importance, but don't sustain a fulfilled life and connection on their own. The behaviors ahead are about recognizing the ways you already honor your worth and understanding how these choices shape the quality of your entire life.

Here are nine things you do that show you have high standards in life, according to psychology:

1. You are proactive, not reactive

woman who has high standards with proactive partner Zamrznuti tonovi / Shutterstock

You have a plan and goals in life. You make an effort, take the initiative, and take the lead by making plans and following through. Proactive people believe in their ability to succeed, which drives them to take initiative.

It shows that you refuse to let circumstances or other people's decisions dictate your path. Instead of waiting for problems to appear and scrambling to deal with them, you anticipate challenges and take deliberate actions to shape the outcomes you want.

One study argued that this confidence can be a strong foundation for setting and striving for high standards, as they see challenging goals as attainable instead of impossible.

2. You know what you want in a relationship

woman with high standards and partner who knows what they want Miguel Lifestyle / Shutterstock

You know what you are looking for in a relationship, why you want it, have a vision about what it will look and feel like, and take consistent action to attract it with class and confidence.

Studies have suggested that people with higher (yet reasonable) standards tend to be in relationships where they are treated better. This is because they tend to prioritize core values such as respect, trust, and emotional support, rather than demanding every single ideal trait from a partner.

3. You're honest and have integrity

woman who has high standards and is honest Maria Markevich / Shutterstock

You are honest and respectful of the people in your life, even if it means someone may be upset with you. You understand that being upfront and reliable is more respectful and expect it even from yourself.

When people are more attentive to their moral standards, they are less likely to engage in dishonest behavior without updating their self-concept. This means a greater honesty is maintained because a lower threshold for dishonesty has been set.

4. You have a genuine spirit of generosity

woman who has high standards in life and is kind fizkes / Shutterstock

You invest time with people because you care and genuinely want to, not because you are going to gain something in return. You have a genuine spirit of generosity with your time, and energy.

Research has shown that consistent, genuine acts of kindness are linked to higher cognitive abilities and reflect an individual's well-developed sense of self and their ability to uphold positive principles. This also indicates a high standard for social relationships and a recognition of shared humanity.

5. You have your own opinions

woman who has high standards and independent opinions fizkes / Shutterstock

You're an independent thinker, express your opinions respectfully, and respect and appreciate views that are different from yours.

Having your own opinions shows you have high standards in life because it means you're not easily swayed by trends or the need for approval. Instead of following the crowd, you take the time to think critically and form perspectives that align with your values, which demonstrates confidence and a refusal to settle for surface-level thinking.

Non-conformity can signal higher status and competence, but only when it is perceived as a deliberate choice. A 2013 study explained that a nonconformist who is confident enough to deviate from the norm is seen as having higher autonomy and internal standards.

6. You are passionate about something

woman who has high standards and passion New Africa / Shutterstock

You are inspired by passions in your life, whether it’s your career or your hobbies and actively get involved or are working towards it. If you hate your job, you don't focus on that; instead, you find enjoyment in your passions and work towards changing your circumstances.

According to a 2024 study, an individual with harmonious passion freely chooses to engage in their activity. While they hold themselves to high standards, the activity remains in harmony with other aspects of their life.

7. You are reliable and follow through

woman with high standards who is reliable Jacob Lund / Shutterstock

You can manage and handle the busy-ness with low drama. You do what you says you'll do and mean what you say. You don't make excuses or have a victim mentality.

The ability to control one's own impulses, thoughts, and emotions to meet long-term goals is known as self-regulation. Reliability is a direct outcome of effective self-regulation, as it requires resisting short-term temptations in favor of meeting a standard.

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8. You are emotionally intelligent

woman who has high standards and is emotionally intelligent simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock

You have reached the "adult" phase of emotional intelligence or are working towards it. You can communicate openly, honestly, and confidently about what you want and need and listen equally, even though it may feel uncomfortable for you.

When high standards are accompanied by high emotional intelligence, an individual is better equipped to handle the emotional outcomes of success or failure. According to a 2022 study, emotional intelligence can reduce the negative effects of disappointment and instead fuel motivation for future challenges.

9. You are romantically evolved

man who has high standards and is romantically evolved Jacob Lund / Shutterstock

High-standard people have evolved beyond their teenage behavior about romance and intimacy. So, you don't rely on low-quality, adolescent tactics and manipulation to connect with people.

You respect a person who says "no" and isn't ready to be intimate. Quality people are more confident, discreet, subtle, and sincere. They understand that connecting and romancing high-value people doesn't come from a place of neediness, but starts with being genuine and approaching them as a friend, not a conquest.

Maria Christie is a dating success, confidence, and life coach who supports those ready to attract and live their dream life and relationship by design.