People Who Are Deeply Happy With Their Lives Usually Do 9 Small Things On A Regular Basis
The happiest people aren't built differently — they just do certain things more often.
Rydale Clothing | Unsplash Some would argue that true happiness isn't found in the big moments. The people who seem to carry a quiet contentment with them have discovered something profound about happiness: it lives in the small, grey areas of our lives.
These aren't complex strategies. They're habits that anyone can adopt, small shifts in point of view that compound over time into something beautiful. The magic is in their consistency and the way they reshape how we experience life's most mundane moments.
People who are deeply happy in their lives usually do 9 small things on a regular basis:
1. They do the hard things first
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I’ve learned to be guided by my energy levels over the years. Something vital we often miss is that when we feel down or flat, it’s more often than not an indication that we’re not taking courage where we need to. We’re neglecting something important.
Our spirit slowly dies when we turn away from what we know we should do. What are you ignoring? Take a small step in that direction and notice your energy returning.
By finishing your most challenging or dreaded task early, you gain a sense of accomplishment that builds confidence and positive momentum for the rest of your day. According to one study, this early success can make subsequent tasks feel easier and more manageable.
2. They put less pressure on themselves
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I can bet you’re struggling more than you need to because of … you. We all make our lives more serious than they need to be. Self-pressure via critical thoughts is the most common way we sabotage our progress and choke off our joy. We entertain thoughts of what we ‘should’ do, which makes us stressed, blocking off our energy flows.
Do what needs to be done, as we discussed in the previous point, but don’t allow those things to bring you pressure. Either act assertively on one thing or let go of the continual beratement.
3. They read books outside of their usual genre
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Get to the library and pick out a book from a section you wouldn’t usually touch, but is interesting nonetheless. Read a few pages. What opportunities might this new perspective bring?
How do these new pieces of knowledge inform a new, refreshed trajectory as you move forward? How could you combine what you learned with what you now know innovatively? Now you’re smashing seemingly separate ideas together into something fresh. You’re a creator. This is energizing.
Reading books outside of your usual genre can increase happiness by building empathy, expanding your worldview, and pushing you out of your comfort zone. Research has found that by experiencing new perspectives in a low-risk environment, you can improve emotional intelligence and find new interests.
4. They listen to their little internal voice
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Most of us run around from one thing to the next like a pinball, responding to everyone else’s ideas but our own. You react to this and that, never stopping for a moment to listen to your internal voice.
You’re anxious and running on adrenaline. Slow down and allow your mind to be still. This is where your most profound wisdom is found. Here, your tiniest inclinations will guide you to what is worth doing. Listen to those sparks of self-generated excitement — they hold the most promise for you.
5. They allot time to do absolutely nothing
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I bet you just had a moment of pure relief in seeing that this is even possible. Obviously, this is not possible for everyone, but do whatever is the next best.
Allow yourself a solid portion of time — a half-day, a weekend — to do nothing. You’ll probably find that you can’t last an hour, and you’ll see that your enthusiasm comes back effortlessly just because you stopped trying to do anything for a moment. You may find the ‘trying’ was the culprit all along.
One study argued that this is not the same as passive distraction, such as scrolling through social media, but rather a deliberate and restorative period of stillness. Instead of immediately turning to a distraction, allowing yourself to feel bored can push you to find new, more creative ways to engage with the world.
6. They write an opportunity list
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This quick activity rarely fails to energize me. Most of us don’t give this kind of thing the time of day, but it can make a massive difference.
Have fun brainstorming a fat list of all the opportunities you can think of for your life in the months ahead. This act puts you in the driver’s seat and gets you thinking creatively. Creative thinking is the opposite of reactive, victim-based thinking that characterizes people who experience long slumps.
What’s possible? What is exciting? Go further than sensible or reasonable. What would the most confident, fearless, energized version of you choose to do?
Research suggests that writing an opportunity list can increase happiness and well-being. This practice is a form of expressive writing that focuses on the positive aspects of life and future aspirations, helping people to clarify their desires and increase their motivation.
7. They take tiny steps toward their goals
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I know from a lot of struggle that when I feel stuck and overwhelmed, it’s because I have a vision in my mind of a frightening future. We can exhaust ourselves with the scale and size of everything we feel we ‘should’ do next. We see the need to climb Everest instead of walking to the next tree 10 meters away. Of course, we don’t want to move.
So envision your trees. Five tiny actions. Write them down. What are five super-easy steps you can do today? This is how you take responsibility again and create momentum. Soon you will be on the top of the mountain without realizing how easy it was.
8. They go for walks
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Walks rule. They get you out of your head and into your physicality and surroundings. This stills the mind so that you connect with resourceful insight effortlessly. When I’m stuck or low, I walk. I no longer see long walks as a nice option; I see them as a necessity.
Like Charles Dickens, who would walk five hours a day, I see them as a regular requirement in my life. Short walks solve 54% of your problems. Long walks solve 89% of your problems.
9. They look for guidance
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Few can do it all alone in whatever you’re looking to do. In fact, you’d be crazy to try to take everything on by yourself without any guidance. I’ve lost years of my life building things that failed because I didn’t take the time to ask someone who did it how they did it.
Finding a mentor doesn’t necessarily mean forking out thousands for a coach, though this can help propel you with the right person. You can identify people who could help, find a way to help them collaboratively, and forge win-win relationships.
A mentoring relationship often creates a cycle of positivity. As the mentor invests in the mentee's growth, they feel a sense of productivity and meaning. A 2014 study explained that this fuels the mentor's own happiness and encourages the mentee to pay it forward.
Why make endless mistakes when you can talk to people who have already made those mistakes and have them show you the way? Find one person to speak to today, and ask.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
