If You Have Almost No Friends In Life, Psychology Says You Probably Display These 4 Behaviors
If you're confused why you've never had close friends, it might be because you act a certain way.
Elvis Kaiser | Unsplash There are patterns of behavior that might be able to clue you into the fact that you struggle to make close friends. Maybe even you've started to notice that your 'friends' are only contacting you when they need something.
Having few or no close friends can feel isolating, but it's not always about bad luck or being unlikable. Rather, certain behaviors may unintentionally push others away or make it harder to form meaningful connections with people.
If you have zero best friends in life, psychology says you probably display these four behaviors:
1. You're overly demanding
You don't allow people to have any free time for themselves. You expect people to drop everything they're doing to be there for you.
It is important for your friends to have your back, but when you are throwing a fit every time their schedule doesn’t accommodate you, you can't be surprised when they reevaluate the friendship. We all have our own lives, and oftentimes it is important to take care of ourselves first before giving ourselves to others.
If you are the friend who doesn't understand that, it wouldn't be a stretch for your friends to assume that you don't respect them. While you may say “oh if they want to hang out with me all the time it just means they like me a lot!," the reality is when you expect your friends entire life to revolve around you, it means you don’t respect their time and shows that you believe they don’t exist as an individual outside of your friendship.
Sometimes you might not be doing this maliciously and just need some good old-fashioned communication. But if you find yourself reacting angrily, manipulatively, etc., that's a sign that you don’t respect those around you, and it is time to self-reflect.
2. You're flaky
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This one is tricky because I’ll admit, there are times when I am a little hard to get a hold of. Sometimes when you are dealing with stuff in your own life, having to respond to texts can seem like a herculean task.
It is okay to flake sometimes; we can’t always be there for our friends, and that's okay — that doesn’t make you a bad friend if you sometimes find yourself dipping out to take care of your mental health.
However, if you're the friend who consistently flakes out on everyone, this might be a sign of a bigger problem. You constantly ditch the plans you made together to go do something you think is “cooler,” or make up half-baked excuses to keep everyone out of the loop.
When someone consistently fails to follow through, it sends a message that they can't be relied upon, making it difficult for others to trust their intentions or commitments. A 2021 study explained that a lack of transparency and consistency can create a barrier to deeper connection, leaving the other person feeling like they are never truly sure of where they stand.
3. You belittle others to make yourself seem cooler
This happened to me all the time during high school; if there was a boy my friend wanted to impress and we were all hanging out in a group, my friend suddenly became a late-night comedian.
Playful insults when you two are together can be fine as long as it is balanced out with healthy doses of love. But when it is in front of strangers, and you're bringing up that one time they completely embarrassed themselves to get a laugh out of this random person you don’t know, it can feel like a betrayal of trust.
If you immediately make them the punchline to all your jokes, then it shows that you don’t take the relationship seriously. It shows that they are a joke to you, and therefore means that you don’t respect them as much as they should. Again, sometimes you might not be doing this maliciously, so it is important to listen when your friends are brave enough to communicate how they feel.
Being consistently subjected to belittling comments creates emotional distance, making it difficult for others to feel comfortable and connected in the relationship. One study argued that belittling remarks can chip away at a person's self-esteem and confidence, leading them to question their worth.
4. You get jealous easily
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Friends are supposed to support each other. Of course, it is normal to get a little jealous when your life is in the toilet, while your friend is once again getting promoted at their new job, which they love.
But ultimately, you hopefully like your friend more than you are jealous of them. So when they do something great, you celebrate it. But a bad friend gets jealous of everything good in your life. Whether it be a new partner, a new job, or a cool opportunity, they always react negatively.
They are always cutting, snarky, and always say something cruel to make you second-guess your accomplishments. If you have a friend like this, it shows they don’t want you to succeed.
Studies have found links between self-reported and peer-reported jealousy and increased loneliness, regardless of overall social acceptance. While some degree of jealousy can be a normal human emotion, allowing it to escalate unchecked can create a toxic environment that erodes trust, fosters negativity, and ultimately sabotages the development of close and fulfilling friendships.
If you have a friend who sees every good thing in your life as a competition, it might be time to cut them out. If you want to improve yourself, you can’t have people who see any progress you make in your life as something negative.
Jessica Xing is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, relationships, and media.
