Truly Smart People Usually Avoid Anyone Who Does These 11 Things
Smart people have zero time for people whose values and morals don't align with their own.
Deflector Image / Shutterstock Truly smart people typically have specific values and morals that they cherish. Above anything else, they tend to prioritize the people they choose to keep in their lives. They are always intentional about who's around them because they know that other people's energy can be contagious, and some out there just shouldn't have access to their energy. Smart people value those with whom they can build meaningful connections, so when someone is consistently behaving in a way that drains their energy or is just downright disrespectful, they do the necessary observations and then quietly take a step back.
There's never any drama with them, nor is there a huge blowout. They're simply trying to protect their peace and time by surrounding themselves with those who are worth their mental and physical energy. Their discernment is something they cherish. They would rather walk away from someone than wait for them to change and show up in the way that they need them to because they've learned just how detrimental it can be to keep the wrong kind of company around.
Truly smart people usually avoid anyone who does these 11 things
1. Constantly plays the victim
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Smart people have zero tolerance for those who are always trying to play the victim in every situation. There's such a difference between going through hard times and making everything out to be as if it happened to you for no reason. Struggle doesn't necessarily have to be a part of life, but it happens to the best of us. But smart individuals notice when someone is repeatedly trying to dodge accountability and instead blaming everyone else for their own shortcomings.
"There are some things that are so awful they really can derail people. And there are some people who are so fragile that they are more easily derailed. But there’s a whole lot of people — most of us — who need to get on with our life and take responsibility for what we do with it. Staying stuck in the victim role completely undermines that process," explained clinical psychologist Josh Gressel.
Because of this, they tend to avoid this kind of energy because it's just emotionally draining to be around someone who's stuck in their victim mentality. It allows for zero growth by reflecting on their actions, as they're too busy pointing fingers at someone else to look inward.
2. Lies about small things
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Small, white lies may seem harmless, considering that we may sometimes choose to embellish the truth a little rather than say what actually happened. But for smart individuals, there's a difference between someone who says these one-off lies and someone who bends the truth over something insignificant for no reason.
"Honesty is more than simply not lying. Deception includes making ambiguous or vague statements, telling half-truths, manipulating information through emphasis, exaggeration, or minimization, and withholding feelings or information that is important to someone who has a right to know, because it affects the relationship and deprives that person of freedom of choice and informed action," insisted licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer.
For them, it reveals a deeper mindset that revolves around a lack of honesty. If they notice someone lying about being busy just to avoid hanging out, it makes them wonder what else they might be lying about. Over time, even the smallest dishonesty slowly erodes the trust they have in that person. Once that trust is gone, there's really nothing else keeping them around.
3. Interrupts during conversations
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Smart people are always the ones in the room observing everyone else and their behaviors. While they have a few things that can erode their trust and respect with someone, the biggest way to do that is by constantly interrupting and speaking over others during a conversation. To them, it shows a lack of emotional intelligence and awareness of others around them. Truly intelligent people value thoughtful interactions with people.
"For many, a good conversation flows in different directions and different voices are not interrupting as much as keeping the dynamic and energy of the conversation high. When everyone speaks over each other, it demonstrates to some that everyone is engaged in the conversation, not ignoring what others have to say," pointed out professional relationship expert Andy Lopata.
Smart people are the type of people who listen not just to respond but to actually understand. When someone is always cutting others off mid-sentence or finishing their sentences for them, it drains their energy because now the conversation feels more like a competition than a way to connect with others. When it becomes a pattern, it leaves them feeling exhausted at the thought of sparking up a conversation with someone who won't even care to listen before interjecting with their own thoughts.
4. Thinks every disagreement is a personal attack
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There's no such thing as going through life and not experiencing some sort of conflict or disagreement with the people in your life. Truly smart people know that a healthy debate and some gentle pushback are necessary for their own personal growth and also the connection they have with others. When someone is challenging them, it's not because they're trying to create a hostile environment. Instead, it's easy for them to avoid getting defensive.
"Just like muscles strengthen through resistance, relationships grow stronger when they endure and navigate conflict together. Over time, the ability to work through disagreements builds a deep sense of trust — knowing that the relationship can withstand difficulty rather than crumble under pressure," said psychologist Samantha Stein.
However, smart individuals are not interested in having to walk on eggshells around people who don't understand that about healthy disagreements. They find it draining when someone feels like, just because people in the room disagree with them, it's because they simply don't like them. They internalize every single argument or debate as a personal attack when it's not personal at all.
5. Only shows up when they need something
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Smart individuals recognize that genuine relationships, whether platonic, professional, or romantic, are built on mutual support, not just showing up when needed. When someone only reaches out when they're struggling or need a favor, but are never there when you need someone, it's not a real connection. Instead, it's transactional. It can leave the other person feeling used rather than being cared for and appreciated.
"Showing up is one of the most underestimated superpowers we have. It requires no funding, no permission, and no elaborate plan. Just intention. Just care. Just presence. And yet, when you look closely at any meaningful relationship, thriving team, or empowered individual, you’ll find someone who decided to show up—again and again," explained psychologist Deborah Heiser.
Smart people pick up on this imbalance and usually set boundaries around it because their time and energy are too precious to them to be treated like a secondary option. They have zero patience for people who can't seem to understand that a real relationship is when both people feel supported by each other. Something one-sided isn't something they feel the need to show up for.
6. Tips service workers poorly
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This might seem like something very minuscule, but smart people know how hard service workers have it, and so they refuse to walk out of a restaurant and not tip. For them, tipping is about respect and just basic human decency. So, when they're out with someone who either under-tips or doesn't even tip at all, it's a direct reflection of their character and values. Tipping is about acknowledging how challenging service work is, both physically and emotionally.
Unfortunately, most people don't tip their servers. According to a Pew Research Center survey, almost 1 in 5, 18%, of people tip less than 15% for an average meal at a sit-down restaurant, and an additional 2% tip nothing at all.
Servers are almost always working for lackluster pay and depend on their tips to make a living. People who tip poorly often claim it's not their job to compensate for the low wages they're paid, and while that's partially true, it's part of a much bigger issue. If you're choosing to dine in at a restaurant, then it's your duty to leave a tip at the end of the meal to show how grateful you are to have been taken care of.
7. Makes fun of people for trying something new
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There's something telling about a person who can't seem to support someone who's stepping out of their comfort zone to try something new. Smart people know how much courage it takes to try something that you might not necessarily be good at right off the bat, and simply can't stand those who choose to belittle and mock those who are expanding their skillset.
People who feel threatened by others' just trying to figure it out are usually the same people who have a fear of taking a risk of their own. Smart people know that everyone has to start from somewhere, and expecting someone to be perfect at something the first time they do it is just unrealistic. They don't have time for people who can't seem to see that and instead want to bring those around them down just because they're not secure with themselves.
8. Always needs to be right
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Truly smart people are never impressed by those who always need to argue or prove their point because they value winning over anything else. When someone feels the need to be right in every situation, it indicates that their ego is too big, and there's nothing worse than someone whose ego drives everything they do.
Needing to be right all of the time doesn't invite growth in either, which is something smart people value. By acknowledging that you got something wrong, you're opening yourself up to learning and evolving. Being right might feel good in the moment, but actually being willing to sit down and expand your mind on the things that you may not have known initially is much more rewarding.
9. Disrespects boundaries
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Smart people have zero time for those who can't seem to respect and adhere to boundaries. It's usually a dealbreaker because the marker of a healthy relationship is someone who's able to acknowledge and honor boundaries. When someone chooses to dismiss them or even walk all over them, it sends a clear message that they don't care about your comfort and that there are matters way more important.
Truly intelligent individuals can't stay close to someone who's always overstepping. There's nothing optional about setting a boundary with someone, and you really see the people who genuinely care about you and your needs by how they react when a line is drawn in the sand.
10. Is never curious about the world around them
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Smart people are naturally curious and are drawn to things outside of themselves. They value asking questions, learning about new ideas, and exploring things that might not be in the realm of their comfort zones. So, when someone around them shows zero interest in actually learning or wondering about the things that are happening around them, it shows that they would rather remain stagnant.
And that's something smart individuals have no time for. People who have no desire to learn a different perspective other than their own are usually close-minded, and smart people know that they can never have meaningful conversations or even a valuable connection with them because they would rather limit the things they know.
11. Refuses to celebrate other people's joy
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Smart people value being around those who aren't threatened by the success of others. They are secure enough to know that rooting for someone else's win doesn't mean they'll never have a win of their own. A person who gets upset or downplays someone else's achievements is often insecure about their own journey, and so they need to bring everyone else around them down too.
Truly intelligent individuals don't have the energy to stick around for that. They want and value relationships where people have no problem celebrating each other. They don't have the energy or time to deal with those who see any little milestone as grounds for competition.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
