11 Things People Think Are Normal But Are Actually Signs They're Not OK
They may be struggling without even realizing it.
Anton Dios | Shutterstock Even if they're normalized in our society or joked about amongst friends, there are many habits and rituals that are detrimental to mental and physical well-being, from screen time to diet, like a study from Frontiers in Psychiatry suggests. Rather than making a change and acknowledging their consequences, many of us turn to suppression or humor to cope with them, falling into a cycle that doesn't do anyone any favors.
There are many things people think are normal but are actually signs they're not OK that go consistently unaddressed in their lives. Whether it's chronic stress, burnout symptoms, social isolation, or mental health concerns, these habits serve as both causes and symptoms of their struggles in day-to-day life.
Here are 11 things people think are normal but are actually signs they're not OK
1. Feeling anxious in the morning
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According to a study from Behavior Research and Therapy, not getting enough sleep or good quality sleep at night can contribute to feelings of morning anxiety. On top of that, screen time right away upon walking up or before bed can also feed into this cycle of chronic anxiety, pushing people closer to mental health concerns and fatigue.
That's why this is one of the things people think are normal but are actually signs they're not OK. Either they're not getting enough sleep, are coping with discomfort with screen time, or may be struggling with mental health issues that have been left unaddressed.
2. Waking up tired
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Even if fatigue, burnout, and feeling chronically tired are things people think are normal, they're actually often signs that someone is not OK. Waking up tired and consistently not getting enough sleep can cause deprivation that subtly harms mental and physical health, like a study from Frontiers in Psychology explains.
So, even if it's their mental health or stress that's sabotaging their sleep routine and restfulness from the start, continuing to feed into the habit without change or support can perpetuate a cycle of mental health concerns and isolation.
3. Feeling numb
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Experts from Televero Health argue that there's a number of causes for feelings of numbness or emotional disconnection, from unresolved trauma, to mental health concerns, social isolation, and even certain medications, but it can be a red flag that someone isn't doing well. Feeling numb doesn't just keep people from forming healthy relationships and connecting with others, it sabotages their ability to regulate and acknowledge their internal emotions.
While it may be completely normal to experience in small doses — like in the wake of a loss or navigating a stressful task — any kind of prolonged emotional numbness could actually be one of the signs that someone isn't OK.
4. Withdrawing from social events
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Many people cope with mental health struggles and anxiety by isolating themselves and avoiding social events. While it may seem like a passive short-term fix for feelings of discomfort, it only further exacerbates their struggles — sabotaging their support cycles and relationships and sparking more harmful feelings of loneliness.
According to a study from BMC Psychology, withdrawing itself isn't a sign that someone's not OK — because seeking alone time, prioritizing solitude, and reflecting are actually healthy habits with the right intention — but when it's coupled with mental health concerns, social anxiety, or isolation, it could be a red flag.
5. Feeling guilty for resting
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Many people who hold themselves to unrealistic perfectionist standards struggle with burnout at some point or another in their lives, whether it's at work or at home. They are constantly stuck in a cycle of needing external validation, chasing unachievable goals, and grappling with the disappointment of being unable to reach them, that when they do have a moment for rest, they overlook it.
Feeling shameful and guilty for resting or taking a break are also some of the things people think are normal but are actually signs they're not OK. Feeding into "hustle culture" or overworking yourself isn't a sign of success, it's a sign that you're not caring for yourself — in ways that actually end up sabotaging productivity and concentration, harming mental health, and diminishing physical well-being.
6. Staying busy 24/7
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While staying busy and keeping a tight schedule may seem like a short-term fix for coping with mental health struggles and avoiding complex emotions, experts like licensed psychologist Rachel Goldman argue that it can actually just keep struggling individuals in a cycle of burnout and emotional exhaustion.
Not only does suppressing emotions and avoiding true healing negatively affect a person's mental health and physical well-being, the effects of long hours and burnout can add fuel to the fire, exacerbating already present issues of stress, anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
7. Neglecting chores and hygiene
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According to a study from Health and Social Care, many people who struggle with their mental health, specifically depression, neglect personal hygiene rituals and self-care. Largely due to processing and energy concerns, this neglect tends to make it harder for depressed people to break free from their cycle of struggle — keeping them stuck in a routine of low self-esteem, isolation, and guilt.
Similarly, doing chores is a means for people to break free from cycles of poor mental health and lacking motivation, but it's also one of the first things that's neglected in someone struggling with depression. They let dishes pile up in the sink, laundry untouched in the hamper, and even struggle with opening and responding to mail.
8. Relying on food for comfort
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Comfort eating is a common coping mechanism for people that lack healthy responses to stress, according to a study from the International Journal of Behavioral Medicine. It gives them a misguided outlet for suppressing their emotions and coping with strong feelings, even if it promotes worsened emotional regulation skills, mental health, and physical well-being in the long run.
It's one of the things people think are normal — like getting a little treat after a horrible day at work or splurging on expensive groceries to cope with burnout — that are actually signs they're not OK.
9. Rewarding themselves by spending money
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A study from the Counseling Psychologist argues that many people spend money to cope with deeper emotional trauma and mental health struggles, even if it sets them back from achieving their sought-after financial stability.
It's a sign that they feel like they're lacking control over something — whether it's a relationship, their lifestyle, or their mental health — because spending money gives them the power to achieve something, no matter how misguided it actually is.
10. Seeking reassurance constantly
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According to mental health coach Darius Cikanavicius, the people who are most likely to seek external validation, acceptance, and attention from others are the same ones afraid of social rejection. They're coping with unresolved trauma or internal insecurity in ways that may seem comforting — like leaning into a toxic relationship for the sake of praise — even though it's actually a sign that they're not OK.
Even if dealing with low self-esteem and insecurity has grown normalized in our ultra-competitive and comparison-driven culture, a study from the Child and Adolescent Mental Health journal suggests it can have long-term negative effects — not just on interpersonal relationships and social skills, but also mental health and physical well-being.
11. Getting sick frequently
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According to a study from Future Science OA, grappling with chronic stress and burnout can negatively affect people's physical health, breaking down their immune system and bodily processes that help to fend off sickness and illnesses.
However, there are also a number of other social and emotional things — from dealing with social isolation and loneliness to experiencing depression — that can be the root behind chronic sickness.
Even if someone is regularly suppressing their emotions and avoiding vulnerability, that could be negatively affecting their health, causing emotional turmoil to fester in ways that sabotage general well-being. So, even if these are things that people have normalized in their everyday lives and routines, they could be subtle signs that you're not actually OK.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
