The Smartest People In Any Room Use These 11 Low-Ego Phrases

People with intellectual humility often boast better relationships, self-worth, mental well-being, and health, according to a study from Personality and Individual Differences. So, it’s not surprising that their egotistical counterparts, who constantly seek out praise and attention, struggle in opposing ways. They sabotage conversations by trying to seek attention and come off as rude and arrogant by protecting their own self-image, while the smart people in any room use certain low-ego phrases that do the opposite.

Yes, they still have strong boundaries and a sense of emotional intelligence, but they’re not afraid to step back and let other people have the spotlight. They know how to ask for help, admit when they’re wrong, and support people, even when they don’t agree.

The smartest people in any room use these 11 low-ego phrases

1. ‘Tell me more about that’

smart man saying tell me more about that on the phone Pau Novell Aran | Shutterstock

The best conversationalists and the most likable people in social interactions are often the ones who actively listen. They know when to be quiet, when to ask thoughtful questions like “Can you tell me more about that?” and when to speak up.

They’re never afraid to let someone else take the spotlight, even if their egotistical counterparts thrive by interrupting and jumping into conversations that they’re not a part of.

2. ‘What do you think?’

woman asking what her co-worker thinks Kostiantyn Voitenko | Shutterstock

While the constant pursuit of other people’s opinions and fear about how they’re being perceived are behaviors common for egotistical people, the smartest person in any room seeks out opinions in healthy conversations. They do care about what other people have to say, but not for their own self-worth.

They want people to feel included and safe in conversations with them, so they use phrases like “What do you think?” often. They don’t frame their own confidence or self-worth around people’s opinions of them, but don’t mind creating a space for people to share their opinions openly in environments like the workplace.

3. ‘Would you mind helping me?’

woman asking colleague for help AlyshaYogi | Shutterstock

While intelligent people are often defined by their ability to think critically and solve problems on their own, they’re also not afraid to ask for help or advice when they need it. They’re not so insecure or egotistical that they pretend to know everything.

Of course, it may not always be comfortable to ask for help, but in these moments, it helps to bond people, as a study from the Stanford Report suggests. When you ask for help, the person offering it feels special, needed, and important, even if it’s just in a passing moment at work. They perceive the person asking for help as not only more competent, but also as comforting and safe.

4. ‘Thank you’

woman saying thank you to a friend JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock

According to a study from Frontiers in Psychology, emotional intelligence is often inherently linked with gratitude. People who are more self-aware and socially intelligent experience and offer gratitude more often in their daily lives. That’s why the smartest people in any room use low-ego phrases like “thank you” and “I appreciate you” often.

They don’t take credit for other people’s work or overlook someone’s effort, but bring a sense of thoughtfulness to even rigid workplace environments to ensure people feel seen.

5. ‘That’s outside my skill set’

woman saying that's outside my skillset to her boss PeopleImages | Shutterstock

So many people who are caught up in their own ego and the pursuit of external validation lean on overconfidence to feel secure. They try to exaggerate their skills and knowledge to boost their self-image, even if it only ends up making them look more incompetent and arrogant in the end.

According to a study from Judgment and Decision Making, overconfident people often overpromise and underdeliver in every aspect of their lives. They accept fake news more easily and often sabotage their trust with others by failing to match up with the commitments they’ve taken on. However, the smartest people in any room aren’t afraid to admit when they don’t know something.

They often say things like “that’s outside of my skillset” or “I’m not sure” to pass the mic to other people. While overconfident people might consider that a “weakness,” it’s actually a character strength that gives them an opportunity to learn, amongst others.

6. ‘I appreciate the feedback’

man saying I appreciate the feedback to his boss Branislav Nenin | Shutterstock

While accepting and receiving feedback is often an uncomfortable experience for most people, as psychologist Dr. Rob Nash explains, many people who consistently push back against it are struggling with internal insecurities. Their constant policing of their self-image is often disrupted by criticism, even when it’s constructive, because it feels like a direct attack.

However, the smartest people in any room use low-ego phrases like “I appreciate the feedback” often, even if it’s not entirely comfortable to hear. They don’t view these call-outs as a “weakness,” but instead as an opportunity to grow and be better.

7. ‘That’s a great point’

man smiling telling friend that's a great point over coffee Dmytro Zinkevych | Shutterstock

The smartest people in any room know when it’s powerful to be quiet. They care about ensuring other people feel heard in conversations and use phrases like “that’s a great point” to cultivate a safe space for them to share.

Especially when they don’t have anything to add or share to a conversation, they’re careful about how they interact with people. They want conversations to be productive, but there’s another layer of self-awareness and emotional intelligence that comes from letting other people share.

8. ‘I understand where you’re coming from’

man saying I understand where you're coming from to a colleague at work Ground Picture | Shutterstock

The smartest people in any room know how to get along with others. Even if they’re not going to choose to be their best friend after the conversation, they have the skills necessary to interact and converse with people they don’t necessarily like or share opinions with.

Especially around controversial and emotional topics, having these conversations across the aisle of opinions and beliefs boosts trust in personal relationships, social interactions, and oneself, like a study from PNAS explains. The smartest people are still getting something from these conversations on a personal level, but they know how important it is to have a safe space for discussion, even with people they don’t agree with.

9. ‘Let’s simplify this’

woman saying let's simplify this in a work meeting with colleague insta_photos | Shutterstock

Despite what people tend to think about intelligent individuals, the smartest people in any room are always hoping to make things less complicated. Whether it’s accessibility or the language they use in a conversation, they want things to be simple and understandable, rather than complex and confusing.

As a study from WIREs Cognitive Science suggests, highly intelligent people might have expansive vocabularies, but in social interactions, conversations, or at work, they’re careful about making their language accessible.

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10. ‘I don’t think we’ve met’

woman saying I don't think we've met shaking hands with a man Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock

According to a study from Intelligence, people with a high level of intelligence are often also more prosocial. They understand and have the emotional intelligence to interact with people in a healthy way, even if it’s initially uncomfortable.

That's why the smartest people in any room use low-ego phrases like “I don’t think we’ve met” to spark new social interactions with people, especially when they feel left out. They go out of their way to make people feel included and special, even if they’re not going to end up being the center of attention.

11. ‘That’s a good idea’

woman saying that's a good idea to a work colleague MilanMarkovic78 | Shutterstock

Even if they’re not the person coming up with a good idea or solution to an issue at work, a smart person still has the inner security to acknowledge when someone is right. They don’t need to be “right” all the time themselves, because they’re more interested in making people feel seen, working together, and coming to a solution than being the center of attention.

The smartest people in any room use low-ego phrases like “that’s a good idea” and “we should try your idea” instead of trying to over-explain and justify their misguided thoughts and opinions for attention.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.