How To Find True Love (And Keep It!) By Starting From Within

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How to Find and Keep Your True Love
Love, Self

A lasting relationship doesn't happen by accident, you know!

Love is in the air. We all want that special someone who loves us exactly as we are, who would give their heart and soul for us. 

True love starts within. The truth is that there is no one "out there" who can give us what we need "in here".

If you desire to attract your ideal mate or you want to take your current relationship to the next level, start by truly loving yourself. What does that mean? 

Learn how to find true love by doing these 5 things:

1. Take time out to do the things that make you feel good.

Go to the gym, take a walk, train your dog, golf with your friends, practice yoga or meditation, enjoy some of your favorite music, teach or take a painting class, or read a good book.

It’s so important to do activities which feed your soul, fill your cup, so you have something to share with your significant other. 

Too often, we expect our partner to be our "everything", to fulfill our every need, to spend every second with us, to do tasks we tell them to or expect them to, and when they don’t or can’t, we feel frustrated, empty and resentful.

This is why relationships fail. Because this is not love…this is called "co-dependency".

2. Take time each day to acknowledge your partner.

Focus on what makes your partner special to you. Notice the little things they do that you are grateful for. Maybe it's for the way her hair looks pretty today or that she made you lunch or smiled at you. Perhaps, he took the garbage out without being asked, or got your car washed for you.

It’s so easy to be complacent in a relationship. It takes a little effort to make it last, to make it special, but not that much and well worth the effort. 

Creating a feeling of gratitude is so powerful. When you are dedicated to appreciating little things, your energy towards another change and they feel it and typically will respond positively as well. 

3. Avoid criticism. 

Accept your partner for who and how they are, not how you want them to be. Everyone’s doing the best they can. We all make mistakes and have patterns of behavior. Love them for themselves.

Trying to change someone is fruitless, hurtful and completely counterproductive! If you feel you need to change your partner, they are probably not the right person for you. All we can do is change ourselves.

Avoid getting defensive about anything or criticizing at all costs. Getting defensive is about you and your ego. Learn how to take a deep breath and be with your thoughts and feelings.

Your partner, (well, no person or situation) can push your buttons if the insecurity doesn't live within you. You are responsible for your own reactions and behaviors.

If you're having trouble in this area, hypnosis and coaching may help. Working on yourself, being the best person you can be, is key!

RELATED: 15 Surefire Ways To Know You've Found Real, True, Long-Lasting Love

4. Do something sweet and unexpected once per day or at least once a week. 

Surprise your partner with a little token you saw in a gift store which made you think of them, hang that picture on the wall, plant some flowers, clean up the yard, cook an amazing dinner, get their car washed for them, or bring them coffee in bed. 

At least once per week — without the kids — plan a romantic walk, go on a bike ride, or do something your partner wants to do. Hold hands. Stop what you’re doing and passionately or gently kiss your partner.

When your partner speaks, stop what you’re doing, sit down, look deep into their eyes, and listen — really listen. It’s not necessary to spend a lot of money to make romance special. 

5. If something really bothers your partner and you can avoid the behavior, then stop doing it.

If it makes her happy that the toilet seat is closed, then keep it closed. If he can’t stand when you leave your makeup all over the counter, put it away. It’s not that hard.

Resentment can build over stupid little things and kill the romance. Nothing kills intimacy like resentment! If it’s something you can do, then do it! It will save you a lot of heartache down the road and may actually improve your sex life.

It’s amazing how a little can go a long way to an amazing life together! 

Something I learned a long time ago and it’s an important tip I want to share with you! This is the secret to finding and keeping your love, your ideal mate: Sharing our life with someone is just that…sharing.

We are not each other’s entire life. Our life and happiness are our own.

When we are truly happy and self-fulfilled, our confidence in ourselves soars and is very attractive. Have your own interests in addition to the ones you have together. We bring so much to the relationship and we have much to share and enjoy with each other. This is true love. True love begins within you!

RELATED: 11 Men Share The Moment They Knew It Was True Love

Evelyn Wang is a board certified Hypnotherapist, Hypnotherapist Instructor, NLP trainer, and Fitness Nutrition Specialist.