3 Things You're Doing That Are Keeping You Single

Cat or boyfriend?
Love, Family

Before Santa can help you find a man, you've got to work on yourself.

Santa is coming soon! But I guarantee you he is not bringing you the man of your dreams. Why not? Because of three things you're doing that are keeping you from finding love.

  1. You're Dating Mr. Crumbs:  Mr. Crumbs is a guy that only gives you the crumbs. Mr. Crumbs likes you. You like him. You would like to take this relationship further. You think he's a great man for you, for some reason. You make excuses for him all the time, why he's not spending time with you. He's too busy at work or whatever, and you happily take the crumbs he gives you. You see him on a Saturday night, you have a great time and then don't hear from him for a week. Then you see him again and again, because you really want those crumbs. You’re starving for those crumbs. When you date Mr. Crumbs, you're telling the universe that you don't deserve everything. You don’t deserve a full meal. So you take what you can get, and guess what happens? You get exactly what you believe. Dating Mr. Crumbs kills the energy for you meeting somebody great because you're settling for less instead of going out and trying to find a three-course meal. You figure it's better than being single.
  2. You're Mrs. Make Believe:  You live in a world of make believe. You've created a make believe romance with your booty call. Or a make believe romance with a guy you've been sleeping with for a couple of years. Let me paint the picture. You're with this guy. It started as a booty call, or FWB. He still thinks it's a booty call, but you have fallen for him. You believe things will eventually change so you keep seeing him. You don't date anyone else because you are holding on to hope. Or, you've been with somebody for a couple of years; maybe he's just out of a marriage. He's busy at work. He tells you he's not ready for a relationship, but when he is, you will be the one. Basically he's a more evolved version of Mr. Crumbs. Mr. Crumbs will give you crumbs for a period of time then disappear when he finds something better. This guy, when you're Mrs. Make Believe, doesn't want anything to change. He loves it the way it is. You give him everything he needs. He has nothing to give, nor does he want to. You in turn, just keep going. You just make believe, that things are going to get better.
  3. You're Mrs. Kitty Cat: You've sworn off men. You're thinking during the holidays to adopt a kitten. A kitten would be great this time of year. You think how cute it will be to have a few cats. You're close to becoming a cat lady because you've sworn off of men totally. You've created a story that men aren't into you. You've actually convinced yourself that your life is amazing without somebody. You've convinced yourself so much, you're starting to believe it. Here's the deal. When you sell yourself a bill of goods, you’re telling the universe you don't deserve an amazing man. When you do this, you are not being open to love. If you’re not open to love…You’re never going to find the great guy you want. See, when we convince ourselves of these stories, we're doing it to protect ourselves. If you're selling yourself an illusion, you're not going to meet a great guy. The only way to meet the guy is to let go of your stories. 

Let go of Mr. Crumbs. Let go of closing yourself off. When you let go of these beliefs, you will start to meet men. When you let go of these stories, you open your energy. You won't have to settle for the crumbs. You won't have the illusion you are perfectly happy to be alone forever.

It may take some time to be alone, especially during this holiday time. You may think it's better to have crumbs than to be alone. Alone can be a beautiful thing if you are open to the world and open to the possibilities. You can process and enjoy yourself. If you meet a great man and you're still attached to Mr. Crumbs, you won't connect with him. He will feel your energy and go in the opposite direction.

If you meet a great man and you are closed off, believing you are better off alone, he will feel that too. Attraction is all about energy. This holiday season, send your beautiful, open energy out to the world. If you do, you never know what you will find under your tree!