It’s Wild How Hard Men Fall For Women Who Do This Low-Key Thing
For many men, this subtle habit makes everything click.
Riccardo Sartori | Unsplash When it comes to love, men and women tend to view things differently. Women think about it, for sure, but men are more likely to obsess over it. Research indicates that men and women often differ in how they experience and express intimacy, with women generally prioritizing emotional connection and communication, while men may find intimacy through shared activities and physical closeness.
Men also tend to rely more on romantic partners for emotional support, while women often have broader social networks for this purpose As a woman wading through the world of dating and relationships, this difference often comes into play when you’re trying to figure out not only how to make a guy want you, but how to make him fall in love with you, and how to get him to commit.
As explained by psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW: "The two main emotions that are most acceptable for men to display are still excitement and anger. The more tender emotions, including fear, sadness, love, need, and longing, are still considered 'unmanly' to express."
"So it is not surprising that tender emotions, which have to be expressed in some way, get bound to the physical act of love," Hendel continues. Channeling the need for comfort and soothing into being intimate is a clever compromise. After all, during intimacy men can unabashedly get held, and loved up all under the acceptable guise of a very manly act — that of prowess."
Sure, men want to be intimate because they enjoy it, but they also want to reach you on a more emotional level. Unfortunately, not knowing this leaves many women feeling like they’re being backed into a corner, so they Google things like "how to make him commit" out of confusion and desperation.
But there are a couple of ways to circumvent this issue. It’s important not to jump on the defense and assume a guy simply wants to be intimate with you because he’s only after one thing. That does happen, of course, but it’s not always the case.
If you want to avoid falling into this trap, what you need to learn first is how to make him want you.
Men fall hard for women who do one low-key thing: focus on creating a meaningful connection with them.
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The way to create a meaningful connection with a man is by focusing on what it is that both of you want.
Most men are looking for a long-term partner they have a meaningful connection, but the only way they know how to do this is by being intimate. Women want to connect as well, but they believe they can only do that once they commit.
When you reverse the dynamic and make connection the centerpiece of your relationship, you provide the foundation upon which a lasting relationship can be built. If you're a woman who wants to learn how to make a man fall in love with you, even if intimacy is currently off the table, this is what he needs to hear from you to keep him from running away.
Instead of saying, “I'm not intimate with men until I’m in a committed relationship," say this: “I love the fact that you want me so much, but I don’t feel comfortable enough opening up to you yet. What I want is to feel deeply connected to you before we take this next step.”
These words challenge him to see that what matters is the connection between the two of you. They provide him with a pathway toward building intimacy with you.
They help him to see that if he wants to get close to you in every possible way, he needs to invest in terms of his time and presence, and in terms of how he relates to and listens to you.
As he starts investing in you, you’ll begin to feel a sense of true safety as the two of you connect and get to know each other. You won't need a false sense of safety based on your demands for a commitment.
Remember that men and women are pretty much all after the same thing: a genuine connection.
They just go about it in different ways. If you can work with your partner to put that connection before either the commitment or the intimacy, your relationship will have a far better chance of long-term success.
Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator specializing in dating, empowering men and women, self-esteem, and life transitions. He has 20 years of experience working to optimize human behavior and relational dynamics.
