How Each Zodiac Sign Can Learn From Marie Kondo And Spark Joy In Their Life

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how the zodiac signs can Marie Kondo their life
Zodiac

Marie Kondo: the art of getting rid of what doesn't work in one's life so that one can truly live a better existence, free from all kinds of clutter. Who can't get on board with this?

Funny thing, it doesn't seem to come naturally to many people, this idea of releasing clutter of the mental and physical kind. Perhaps it's a matter of maturity, or it might be about detachment, in a spiritual way. 

But the truth is, we're better off without the luggage of the past, and that means the endless collected items, the memory vaults of dust, and the basic mess that we accept as our living space. This mess, as Marie points out, is bad Feng Shui.

We can't think if our environment is stale; we can't progress if everything around us is a reminder that we have much to be cleaned up, gotten rid of, and let go of. I've seen both hoarders and minimalists, and both parties seem to come from their personal experience of how their environment affects their performance in all things.

How do the zodiac signs fit into all of this? Well, some folks are born to clean up, throw out and clarify, while others are quite content to live in a pigsty, surrounded by termites and old books. Sure, there's a middle ground between minimalism and outright piggery, and here's where we'll find out where you fit in.

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

You're on it. You do not like the mess and you're already too distracted to deal with it.

You go on wild "throw out" binges, and often times you end up accidentally chucking out things you love, which makes you mad, but not as mad as you'd be if you didn't throw just about everything you own out. You hate clutter!

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TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

If we need to find you, Taurus, it will be under five feet of dirty clothes, laying around your house, never ever put away. You are the meaning of carelessness and you just don't give a rat's tuchus if you live in squalor or riches.

Well, you love riches, but you know how to clutter that up just as well. You've never heard of Marie Kondo.

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GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

You're so minimalist, it hurts, and that's because you're too cheap to furnish your home or workspace. You like to keep a neat home, but rarely does that home have any finesse.

If blank walls are your thing, with the occasional appliance here or there, then you're probably a Gemini.

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CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

Your entire life revolves around creating atmospheric wonders, in home and at the work place. You're the one everyone turns to when they want interior design advice, and you're the one who can give that advice expertly.

You Kondo that mess right up — no fuss, no muss.

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LEO (July 23 - August 22)

Not really too good at the Kondo thing, are you? Yes, Leo, it's just not in your nature to do more than make a mess and lay around in it.

An insanely over-stuffed apartment filled with old magazines and dried out lipsticks? That's your palace, right there. You are the ruler of your trashcan, and you like it just the way it is.

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VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

It's fairly easy for you to go 100 percent Kondo-maniac because you are not a collector of "things." You spare yourself the promise of a messy home because you consciously do not buy things to clutter a home up.

You're just not attached to things, and this works for you at home. You're neat, tidy and ready to toss out the garbage.

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LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

You're an interesting one, Libra, because you are the biggest collector of crap in the zodiac, yet you keep your crap in perfect order.

You're the one who frames autographs and auctions off movie props, and your house looks like a post office, yet it doesn't bring you down. You like knowing that everything is categorized.

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SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

You make Marie Kondo look like a lazy bum who cares about nothing. You, on the other hand, are orderly, neat and sparse.

You're not as much a minimalist as you are strict with your choices, and what you bring into your living space must be something you either absolutely adore, or it's something you desperately need.

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SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

You like a neat space, but you're much more interested in aesthetics. You don't mind the mess, as long as the mess has a "theme" to it, like "Death" or "Halloween." Clean up works for you on your own time, and that would be about... once a month.

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CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)

You, too, are another collector who tends to fill up too much of his or her space with whatever it is you collect. You are the person who builds shelving units to display your collections, and when those are filled, you mount things on surfaces.

You make people take off their shoes when they walk into your den of ten zillion things.

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AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

You don't mind if you're up to your eyeballs in filth, and you go out of your way to offend people's sensibilities when they come over for a visit.

You offer your guests a seat on top of some old, unclean laundry, and when they make a face that shows their disgust, you give them a challenging look that says, "Don't like it? Leave."

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PISCES (February 19 - March 10)

You are pretty uptight about your home and your presentation, so consider yourself a full blown Kondo. You give something proper consideration before getting rid of it, and if something doesn't work in your life, you show it the door.

You are strict and severe when you get Kondo-ing, and you know that trash deserves what it gets!

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Ruby Miranda is a New Yorker who learned astrology, I Ching and all types of cartomancy and numerology from her crazy, gypsy mother. She currently writes for a wide range of esoteric publications.