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How Millennials Honestly Feel About The Importance Of Love And Money

Photo: Unsplash: Jon Tyson
Survey Reveals Millennials' Opinions About The Importance Of Falling In Love
Love

According to a brand new survey and personal stories.

Much has been made in the press regarding the percentage of millennials who do X, Y or Z in regard to their love lives, the workplace, marriage, friendships, whatever a new research study has been created this week to learn more about them and their potential effects on this world, either through their perceived successes or mistakes.

I myself was born in 1983, a fact which means I am officially part of the "millennial generation," i.e. people born between the years 1981 and 1996 (and therefore currently aged 22-37). I resent this type of classification, but that is not the point of this article.

What is on point with this article, however, is a brand new survey of 2,000 Americans conducted over the age of 18 which found that not only do millennials fall in line with the 78 percent of respondents who "overwhelmingly agree that finding love is more important than being wealthy," but millennials are also less likely than older generations to name financial problems as a primary problem in their romantic relationships.

 

RELATED: 10 Blunt Truths About Love That Millennials Just Need To ACCEPT Already

 

After digging deeper into the findings of this survey, Elite Daily reports learning in addition that "75 percent of millennials say that finding love is more important than having money. And, even though 45 percent of millennials say money is the number one source of stress in their relationships, only nine percent say financial stability is among the top traits they look for in a partner."

This new information comes on the heels of a much cited 2014 Gallop poll which showed that out of the 73 million millennials living in the U.S., 59 percent had never been married and 60 percent had no children living in their households.

For some reason, people grabbed onto the part about how "[millennials] are clearly delaying marriage longer than any generation before them" and forgot to keep reading the rest of that statement from Gallop, which went on to immediately say, "in spite of evidence suggesting that many millennials intend to marry at some point. For example, a 2013 Gallup poll found that 86% of single/never married Americans aged 18 to 34 (roughly equivalent to the millennial generation) wanted to get married someday."

In essence, rather than trying to understand and perhaps even empathize with millennials almost universal desire to get married — just not yet — alarmists quickly jumped onto the notion that millennials, as one author wrote in 2017, "want to have sex, connect and relate in a loving way with others, but cannot offer anyone their commitment when they themselves are still in flux."

 

RELATED: 3 Ways Millennials Have Made Marriage Better (Yes, Really)

 

Personally, I kind of love that this is baffling people! It's like they can't fathom that we as individuals might possibly be capable of having contradictory motivations and stressors.

We're vast, y'all! We contain multitudes!

That said, if millennials don't care much about finances when it comes to dating, why do so many guys still complain that women are only interested in guys who are rich?

Is it possible we're saying we want one thing while secretly looking for another?

I wanted to find out, so I changed out of my eating pants and into my reporter's pants (they're actually just footie pajamas, to be honest) in order to put this survey's findings to the test.

I asked a few of the millennial women I know what they believe matters most when it comes to finding true love — i.e., which is more important: love or money? — and they were happy to share their feelings with yours truly.

1. Love should be the driving force.

"Love is always going to be the driving force behind what motivates me in a relationship and I hope that would be the case with anyone who I date. If a found out that a man I was interested in lost interest when he eventually learned about my student loan debt it would be a relief. Being a couple is about working through obstacles together."

 

2. Quality time is more important than your bank account.

"It's important for me to date guys who are established professionally but not because I'm a gold-digger or anything — because I don't want to be with someone who is still putting in all the hours necessary to get ahead. Quality time trumps pretty much anything else."

 

3. You can find money together, but you can't find love with money.

"I think love is more important. If love is there you can work out anything else. If there's no money, or one of you is broke the other picks up the check for a while no problem. But if one of you is in love another person isn't there's literally nothing you can do about that."

So there you have it!

Granted, these three women aren't the only millennials out there dating, and they happen to be three women I know personally, which means that yes, they are human beings of the most excellent quality, but I find it hard to believe that the rest of the millennial generation is secretly driven by a lust for coin and hatred for settling down.

If anything, it seems as though millennials are being more honest not only with others, but with themselves about what they really want, and they aren't willing to settle until they find just that.

Isn't what you've been suggesting they should do?

 

RELATED: Millennials Actually Favor MORE Traditional Gender Roles In Relationships

 

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the love and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

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