Experts Are Begging Wives To Delete These 6 Phrases From Their Conversations With Their Husbands
Even small words can cause big damage.
Jacob Varghese | Canva Don't let your mouth put your marriage (or his self-esteem) in jeopardy! Some things are simply better left unsaid. So, zip those lips and listen up, even well-intentioned wives.
Because even if you didn't intend to hurt him, the words you use may do just that to your husband. Here are six phrases to never say to your husband if happily ever after is the end goal — and shouldn't it be?
Experts are begging wives to delete these 6 phrases from their conversations with their husbands:
1. 'You're too old for that'
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Or worse, we're too old for that. Boring! Stay out late every once in a while, order the extra bottle at dinner, and encourage him to join that recreation soccer league with his guys he's been going on and on about. You're only as old as you feel, right?
Plus, tapping into your inner kid will help keep the marriage fresh and fun. We're not saying make a habit of it, but what we are saying is to stop using your age as an excuse to not do things.
2. 'I love your dad bod'
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Seriously, just don't. While we can all agree that dad bods are super-cute, it's highly unlikely that your husband will take this one as a compliment (shocker, we know!), whether he's an actual dad or not. Stick to adjectives like attractive and hot, or simply tell him you love his body and you'll be okay.
A 2021 study found that the impact of such compliments depends heavily on the individual man, the context of the relationship, and the specific dynamics between the partners. Open and honest communication about body image and how each person feels about their own and their partner's body is crucial to navigating these discussions in a way that promotes a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
3. 'Oh no, you're going bald'
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Yikes, way to hit him where it hurts. Wives, in case you weren't aware, men can be surprisingly sensitive and insecure, especially about hair loss, so try not to rub it in when or if it starts to slowly disappear. Because husbands have feelings too, you know.
Negative comments about appearance from a partner are linked to body dissatisfaction, body image concerns, and shame. One study argued that these comments can also lead to lower relationship satisfaction, reducing intimacy and potentially impacting the overall health of the marriage.
4. 'I mean, do you really need another [insert favorite food or beverage of choice here]?'
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Unless you've made a pact to eat healthier and call each other out on your slip-ups, making him feel bad about his physique is probably not the best idea, particularly if it's in front of all his friends. Humiliation hurts.
Research indicates that criticism from a spouse can negatively affect self-esteem, especially for men. Focusing on criticism instead of finding solutions can lead to a cycle of negativity that becomes difficult to break, negatively impacting the couple's overall emotional and even physical health.
5. 'I always have to do everything around here'
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You may be the busiest woman alive, and you may very well pick up a lot of the slack around the house; however, it's highly doubtful that you do everything while your husband contributes nada.
Instead of harping so much on what he doesn't do, consider praising him for the things he does, and we bet you'll notice some big changes soon. Open and honest communication about household responsibilities is vital for addressing the issue and finding a more equitable solution.
6. 'I know you're probably going to say no, but ...'
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Well, okay, negative Nancy. The chances of your man agreeing to whatever request you had in mind are pretty much slim to none now.
This phrase sets a low bar for the other person's response. If the speaker anticipates a negative response, the other person is less likely to feel motivated to try and meet their needs or expectations. One study suggested that this can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the request is more likely to be denied.
Reframe your question in a positive light — e.g., "I had so much fun the last time we took the dog to the park together. Want to go again tomorrow?" — to get the answer you desire or at least increase your odds of hearing yes.
Jillian Kramer is an award-winning storyteller. She's been featured in Food and Wine, Glamour, SELF, Brides, and Women's Health Magazine.
