The Murder Weapon Each Zodiac Sign Is Most Likely To Use — And Why
You don't want to be boring or predictable.
getty Could your zodiac sign or horoscope influence the type of murder weapon you’d use? You may be taken aback by the question.
You’re not a murderer, and there aren’t any circumstances in which you’d commit a murder. No one wants to believe that they have the capabilities to be a murderer. No matter how angry you were with someone, we hope that you’d choose another method to deal with your fury.
However, if you like astrology and murder mysteries, it can be an interesting combination, especially if you're one of the more creative zodiac signs. Since our astrological signs help determine our personalities and the choices we make, it’s not completely unlikely that they might have something to do with the murder weapons we choose.
There are the basic murder weapons that we see repeatedly on crime shows, novels, and movies: knives, guns, and rope. But what about the more imaginative methods? You’d want to be creative and/or a mastermind if you’re going to do something as terrible as murder someone.
In no way are we telling you to murder someone because this isn’t How to Get Away with Murder or a reboot of Dexter. But if you could...
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Two of the major personality traits of Aries is that they're passionate and competitive. They also tend to be impulsive, so they probably wouldn't plan out a murder, and would use something around them like a baseball bat, a shot put, or a log that was right there on the hiking path.
If they were in a place that lent itself naturally to murder, such as a remote cliff, they'd take advantage of it and push their victim off in a fit of rage. However, it wouldn't take Aries long to regret their action.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Taurus are good at holding grudges but they're not good at acting on them. They're not impulsive but when they get angry, it can be very scary. If a Taurus committed murder, it would fall somewhere between spontaneous and premeditated.
No matter how angry they were they wouldn't want the person to suffer, so the murder would have to be fast. A Taurus might use a smiley face pillow or a celebrity body pillow to suffocate the victim.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
A Gemini would be calm and collected when they committed murder, so they might do something long range such as a slow poisoning. That way, they'd be able to say everything they needed to say before the person finally expired.
They'd probably seem like they were so caring all the while covering up the real reason they were always bringing the victim cookies, cakes, and pies. Murder by baked goods sounds like Gemini.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
Killing someone would probably hurt Cancer more than it would hurt the victim, so Cancer would send them a letter laced with deadly anthrax. Cancer would think it out thoroughly and make sure that no one except the person holding the letter would get infected.
They're not mass murderers, so they'd take steps so the people who sort the mail or the mail carrier wouldn't come into contact with the bacteria. Cancers are thoughtful after all, and they don't care for mass hysteria.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Since Leos are often leaders, it's not unlikely that they might kill someone during wartime. It might be the enemy, or it might be something more personal. They might use a grenade or an antique firearm that's part of a collection.
The murder wouldn't be spontaneous or unjustified. Leos are honorable and usually have a very good reason behind the things that motivate them.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
If a Virgo were to commit a murder, more than likely they would have researched it and come up with an almost fool-proof plan. They might use a bomb they read about on the Internet, or they might use a tool or something around the house since they're always fixing things.
Obviously, a Virgo would not commit murder without a great deal of angst, and once done, the guilt would eat them alive.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
You know all that emotion that Libra keeps in? Well, at some point, it has to come out, and that's when Libra might commit a murder. They're going to grab whatever is handy like scissors or an icicle, and stab.
More than likely they'll feel horrible seconds after the deed is done and turn themselves in immediately. Though they could get away with it if the icicle melted and they didn't confess.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
Scorpios like nice things, and while most of the time are dazzling, they can be somewhat headstrong, so it's not out of the realm of possibilities that they might get so angry with someone that they grab their extremely expensive Christian Louboutin stiletto and stab someone in the back of the neck with it.
Hopefully, this would never happen. But it's never a good idea to make a Scorpio angry.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Sagittarius likes to meet new people, not kill them. But if a Sagittarius was forced to murder someone, they'd probably feed them Fugu or Pufferfish sushi that wasn't been prepared correctly, and have the Tetrodotoxin of the fish kill their victim for them.
The victim would think they were having a fantastically delicious meal instead of their final meal.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
Capricorns don't get furious easily, but when they do, watch out. Capricorns are much more creative than they get credit for, so they might come up with a way to lock their victim in a car with a whole bunch of venomous spiders — not unlike Snakes on a Plane but with spiders and a car.
Plus, they only want their intended victim to get hurt, not a planeload of people.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
Aquarius being so innovative would probably come up with a murder app. It would be effective, fast, and completely untraceable. Aquarius would be so removed from the murder that it might not even seem real to them.
Although Aquarius may not feel as if the murder had actually happened, they still won't make the app available to others. Aquarius don't want to make easy access killing-machines.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
Pisces would only murder someone as a mercy killing. If someone was in a lot of pain and wasn't in a place that supported assisted suicides, Pisces might feel compelled to step in and end that person's pain. Pisces might use a silk scarf to strangle them or they might put a plastic bag over their head.
Death might be what the victim wanted, but that won't make it easier for Pisces. They'll feel guilty for the rest of their life.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.