Why You Will Never Be Enough For The Wrong Heart

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unrequited love
Love, Heartbreak

You'll never live up to their expectations.

Loving them harder won’t make them want to stay; in fact, it will only hurt you worse in the long run. It isn’t your fault this unrequited love is happening to you — your hearts just don’t beat to the same rhythm.

You’re never going to be good enough for the person who doesn’t love you. You may give them your all, but it’s just going to fall short for someone who doesn’t see you in the same light.

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Your smile isn’t going to be the light in a dark room, your hand may not be the one that reaches and pulls them out when they get lost, and though you want to see the future when you look into their eyes, you won’t be able to because they’re still searching for their forever.

You will never be good enough for the one that doesn't see you as the missing piece in their puzzle.

This is someone who has dreams and goals in the future but they don’t include you; this someone who doesn't want to put in the effort to make it work because they don’t want it to work.

You are going to be the one who is always making all the plans, the one who leans in for the kiss, the one whose lips will linger longer. You will be the one to move closer in larger spaces, to reach for their hand, or the one who always knows the right words to say. Where you see beautiful fireworks that seem to last forever, to the other person they will already look like ashes falling to the ground.



You’ll never be enough for them — and that’s okay.

It’s going to hurt. You’ll make excuses for them; they will start out so small you won’t even realize you’re doing it, but eventually, someone will catch onto it. Someone will call you out on it, ask you why you continuously put up with so much, and you'll think to yourself it is simply because you love them.

You let these momentary glimpses of relief become enough... until it starts digging at you, and then you start blaming yourself.

You start having irrational thoughts about what could be going wrong, and you rationalize that it’s your entire fault. When you’re upset, you stop voicing your emotions; even when they’re wrong, you apologize first; you put your own needs on the backburner and focus all your energy and attention on them.

That still isn't going to be enough.

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It’s alright to be sad that it didn't work out. Maybe they really did feel something for you in the beginning, maybe they did have genuine feelings for you but they didn't just develop as far as yours did. It doesn't make them a bad person because they didn't love you, and it doesn't make you any lesser for loving them.

Love isn't something that should be constantly scrutinized; it shouldn't cause constant over-thinking or worrying. When someone loves you, it’s going to be obvious. Someone who loves you won’t always meet you 50/50, but on the days that you need it, they’ll pick up the slack.

A person who loves you isn't going to go running for the hills when the times get tough.

However, this is the toughest moment — the moment that you don’t want to come but know needs to come. You have to pick yourself up and walk away. No matter how much you care for them, you have to go.

Being single is not an idea a lot of people like — not having someone who curbs your loneliness, not having someone who you know better than yourself, and that someone who just makes your life a little bit brighter.

Time will be your best friend, and the more distance you put in between you and this person, you’ll realize it was never meant to be. Instead of paying so much attention the fact that you’re single, put more focus on the fact that you are no longer with someone who doesn't love you, because a one-sided relationship never works.

Relationships are not easy; they take commitment, understanding, apologies, compassion, fighting, forgiveness and love. The truth is there isn’t a perfect person out there because we all have flaws and insecurities, but there is someone out there who is going to love and respect you despite them. Someone who isn't going to just think you’re enough for them, but think they’ve hit the jackpot when it comes to having you in their life.

So no, you’re never going to be enough for a heart that isn't yours. The wrong person isn't going to be the one who makes all the little moments in life great, the one who gets to see you at your best and receives all the love you have to give.

Save that for the one who has been through their own form of heartbreak, who acknowledges not everyone’s heartache is the same but knows that the right relationship is worth fighting through, and that love and a thoughtful and enriching relationship is worth it all.

Save it all for the right heart, because then you’ll always be enough.  

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Audi Anderson is a 27-year-old graduate from the University of Iowa with a Bachelors Degree in English who one day aspires to attend law school. She is an avid lover of football, baseball, soccer, horror movies, selfies and napping. To see more of her work, check out her Facebook page.