10 Tinder Profiles Of Famous Literary Hotties That Will Make You Swoon

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tinder profiles

Doesn't everyone wish they could swipe right on Oscar Wilde?

We often take technology for granted these days. I mean, heck, it takes us only a few seconds to contact someone on the other end of the planet.

But back before the days of email and smart phones, what did people do when they wanted a hook up? They probably went through a lot of awful blind dates set up by their friends and families. Yikes.

So it makes you think, if pre-21st Century folks had apps like Tinder, what would their profiles look like? What would the Tinder profiles of the monarchy look like? The silent movie actors? The writers and poets?

We've hopped into an alternative dimension where this was actually the case, and have brought you some of the hottest authors we could find, because what's hotter than a guy with a poetic tongue?

1. Oscar Wilde

Well-read gentleman seeking rebellious man or woman for thought provoking conversation. If you are interested in dating a tall and distinguished socialist soul, then I will be your muse. I am a scholar, a poet, a dreamer, a lover, and I can resist everything... except temptation.

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2. Langston Hughes

Novelist, poet, civil rights activist, playwright, journalist, and so much more. I’m not here for any one-night stands or for a complicated affair. I’m here for companionship, friendship, and some quaint conversations. Talk to me about what’s important to you, and I’ll show you how I shine.

3. F. Scott Fitzgerald

Man seeking a girl with a heart of gold and a skip in her step. I am an avid jazz fan and would love to spend some time with you on the dance floor if you know how to do the Charleston. I’ll be your green light, baby.

4. Frederick Douglas

Looking for those who consider themselves politically and socially enlightened. I’m interested in photography, journalism, and talking long walks under foggy soft skies. Give me a call if you’re a confident gentlewoman who won’t let the man hold her down.

5. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Vegetarian poet seeking a gothic lady for good times. I’ve had ups and downs with romance, so be gentle with this tall, dark stranger. That being said, if you stick with me, I’ll whisk you away to a secluded island and read to you my most romantic poetry all night long.

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6. Giacomo Casanova

I am a man of simple pleasures: sex, adventure, and good wine. I seek only the most beautiful women who can accept me for who I am — that is, the man of her dreams. If you can tolerate someone so devilishly handsome and mysterious, then do get in touch mon chéri!

7. John Keats

“Love is my religion. I could die for that. I could die for you.” — a little something I wrote last week. But that’s just me, in love with love. Shoot me a message if you’d like to share this passion with me during the long, cold winter nights.

8. Yun Dong-ju

I am a realist, yet I dream, and I want you to dream with me. I can’t help but see the pains of this world wherever I go, but I’m also looking at the stars. I spend most of my time writing poetry that I hope to share with my beloved one day. Is that you?

9. William Shakespeare

The course of true love never did run smooth, which is why I’m here, battling this app for your love. I seek a rose who is kind, strong-willed, and enjoyed a good joke now and again. I am a man of wit, of desire, and of modesty. Hmu xox

10. Ernest Hemingway

Veteran, writer, fisherman, naturalist. I enjoy a good walk in the forest, especially in the fall, so if you are a kindred spirit then I’d love to hear from you. We can set up camp by a babbling brook and read to our hearts' content.

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Stephanie Watson is a freelance journalist, specializing in social justice, wellness, and pop culture. She is the editor-in-chief of feminist website Fembot Magazine, creator of the zine Cyberrriot, and has contributed to such online publications as HelloGiggles, Bitch Media, Bustle, and many more. Follow her on Twitter @Stephie__Watson.