Why Lieutenant Saru From Star Trek: Discovery Is SO Attractive To Women Like Me

Photo: IGN
Why Star Trek: Discovery's Lieutenant Saru Is My New Crush

You're going to NEED to watch this...

So I've got a new crush, and I've got it BAD.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you there are few things I find as exciting as a new Star Trek series.

As a kid, I'd sit in a cardboard box in front of the TV during reruns of the original Star Trek, scream-singing along with the theme music and pretending that I, too, was hurtling through the bowels of space, boldly going where no Becca had gone before.

As I grew up, I was all about Star Trek: The Next Generation.

But while other Trekkie girls swooned over Devon Sawa or Jonathan Taylor Thomas, I was penning letters to Data, the show's humanoid android, as played by Brent Spiner.

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Oh, sure, there were other characters on the show you may find more worthy of inspiring lustful thoughts (I'm looking at you, Riker), but something about Data's vacant unblinking gaze and yellow complexion held me in his thrall.

In fact, now that I think about it, it's no wonder I have a tendency to be attracted to logic-obsessed, emotionally distant men.

I had a MONSTER crush on a futuristic Android even as a kid!

When Star Trek: Discovery was announced, I was pretty stoked, a fact which, given all of the above, should not surprise you.

A new Star Trek show! By a team of people I admire and respect! Starring not just one, but TWO women of color!

Frankly, it was already enough to make me weak in the knees. 

Then I saw the pilot... and it was all over.

Oh sure, the show was a magical and captivating return to someplace familiar yet utterly original. That was nice to see.

But for me, the real "wow" factor was the character of First Officer Saru.

Played by actor Doug Jones, Lieutenant Saru's job on the ship is that of science officer. Since I love nerds, it was only natural that I'd be drawn to him, even if he does kind of look like the result of someone peeling the face off of a sheep. Intelligent and sarcastic as they come, for me, it was love at first pithy-rejoinder as far Saru is concerned. 

Saru is bae, and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. 

He reminds me a lot of Data, except for the fact Data's lack of emotional responses keep him distanced from his crew, for Saru, it's his species that has the same isolating effect.

He's a Kelpian, and the first one of his species to ever be a member of Starfleet.

Who doesn't love an outsider, right? The edgy loner?

Saru is complicated, damaged, and dark — just like that hot guy who sat in front of you in math class during your Sophomore year.

On his home planet, there are two types of Kelpians: those who hunt and those who are hunted.

As a member of the "prey" half of the species, he's got a natural ability to sense when death and danger are approaching. When bad stuff is about to go down, "threat ganglia" pop out of the back of his head. That's right. Threat ganglia. 

Sure, at 6'8" he's ridiculously tall for a human like me who clocks in at only about 5'2" on a very good day, but I feel certain we could work all that out. 

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I normally hate characters people might classify as killjoys or cowards, but Saru's fearful nature is one of the evolutionary adaptations of his species. It's not something he can control, and also, it's like... NEVER wrong.

The only thing I find hotter than a man who tells me I'm right is a man who is literally incapable of ever being wrong.

In some ways, Saru also reminds me of Kif Kroker, the second banana to Captain Zapp Brannigan on Futurama. Kif too is hesitant and cautious, but not because he fears his own death. Rather, it's because Zapp Brannigan is such a massive idiot that every venture he sets out upon is sure to end in calamity. 

Of course, I'm sure a major reason Lt. Saru gets me so worked up is the fact that he's played by Doug Jones, a man who is a god to the geek community (please note that I almost capitalized the word "geek" and someone please save me from myself).

Jones is a legend when it comes to creature movies, and he's usually the man in the suit.

Hellboy? Pan's Labyrinth? Doug Jones.

He's almost always hidden behind prosthetic makeup and sometimes other actors do his voice work. In this show, he finally has a serious opportunity to play a major role entirely by himself, and I must say, it's about time.

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And if Jones has his way, Saru may even be getting his very own romantic storyline!

When asked if his character is asexual, Jones told Polygon:

“We have a lot of series left to go so I would love to think [he finds himself in a relationship]. I would love to know if it’s another Kelpian. I don’t believe that he’s asexual ... he probably has his wants and needs I’m sure, but he’s squelching them on his own right now.”

If you're a smart, geeky girl like me and you haven't checked out Star Trek: Discovery yet, you should.

It's a legitimately exciting show and, honestly, you don't even need to be a huge SciFi nerd to love it, although, admittedly, as a SciFi nerd it's hard for me to say so without stating my basis.

And an appreciator of weirdly sexy men/aliens/murderous clowns/other-things-that-are-sexy-to-me-but-probably-should-not-be, I strongly recommend you give it a peep even if only to get to know my latest flame, Saru. 

Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:20 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.