Everything A Man Needs To Know About Loving A Woman

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how to love a woman

As told by a 10-year-old girl in my son's class.

I’ve spent a good thirty plus years chasing that perfect lover. In fact, I failed more than I care to remember or admit. Sure, most of those heartbreaks arrived directly from poor decision-making on my part.

Oh yeah, I sowed far too many wild oats in my time. I broke the cardinal rule “Don’t ever date anybody crazier than you,” a good dozen times. Boy, I could write a book or two about the madness I brought into my life chasing love. I just could never ever get into my head what I was supposed to do to please a woman or how to love a woman.

My father taught me a few good lessons from his playbook. But they all failed for me. Maybe it was a generational thing. For instance, one of his mantras was “always leave them wanting more.” OMG! That backfired!

Uda was a drop-dead gorgeous flight attendant. I met her on the now-defunct Trans World Airlines. Wow, did I fall head over heels for her. You know the blood pump type of passion you go to sleep and wake up thinking about?

So after about six months, I played hardball. I figured this was the time to "leave her wanting more." We were in Coconut Grove having the time of our lives and she asked me if I could possibly stay a few more days. She had some leave and wanted to keep the party going.

I was ready to go into action! God, looking back, I can’t even believe I did this. I made up this crock-a-bull story about having to get back to work because I was in the final stages of negotiating a huge United States patent that was going to make me rich and famous.

Of course, I didn’t become rich or famous and I never saw Uda again after that night.


Now, let me tell you about my marriage. Look it up in the dictionary and you find the word: Failure. Let me say it again, FAILURE. I could not do anything right. I bought roses and the first question asked was, “What did you do wrong now?”

I worked a second job so we could have more and go away during the summers. After the first month of 18-hour days, 6 days a week, she wanted to know why I didn’t like coming home anymore. She asked, “Don’t you love me anymore?”

Believe me, I could go on and on. Whatever avenue I took, understanding love eluded me. Each and every attempt I tried to learn how to love a woman and please her, it took me down a road of never ending do-overs.

Until I met Melissa, my soulmate. Okay, sure, we have this remarkable, passionate relationship. But she understood that my being was bulging with flaws. She laughed at my inability to understand the female species.

However, it was our love that created a young boy named Aidan that did all the damage. I will be forever filled with gratitude for what this little boy did for me. He's a piece of my heart that currently resides outside my body. Aidan set me free.

Below is a letter Aidan received from a 10-year-old girl in his class. People, it is life-changing. Aidan does not have to suffer the anguish and heartache most men suffer in their lifetime:

Dear Aidan,

I think it’s cool that you are helpful and stand up for people. I am glad you are my friend. Everybody thinks that I really like you, but the truth is that I don’t. I know what you are thinking, “What, no way?”

But the truth is, I only like you 40 percent out of 100 percent. I think I said I really liked you because all my friends did and I was in the second grade when I said I really liked you. Now that I am older I realized that I don’t like you that much anymore.

I hope you understand what I am saying, but to be truthful, I kind of still like you. Sorry if I confused you.

See you later. -S. S.

This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from the author.