I'm Tired Of Being Told I Can't Find A Man B/C I'm 'Intimidating'

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I’m Sick Of Being Told I Can’t Find A Man Is Because...

Seriously, what the flying f*ck does that even mean?

I'm single. This much is true. I'm single because of a slew of reasons, most likely having to do with the fact that I've deal with way too much crap to actually feel like I can be close to people romantically.

Even when I do try, it backfires spectacularly. Men don't want me as a wife and eventually, I got used to that. It sucks, because the only thing I really wanted out of life is a spouse. But I gave up — at least on my hope of pairing with men, anyway.

Other people didn't, though. When people hear I gave up on the male gender and what they're supposed to have given me by now, they often give advice. Some tell me to lose weight. Some tell me I should try OkCupid. Others tell me I need to just “put myself out there more,” even though I'm 100 percent certain it will end with me being hurt.

I can deal with this advice because honestly, I could stand to lose weight and part of me thinks that I should give men a shot again despite its inevitable failure. What I can't deal with is being told that I'm "too intimidating" to be attractive.


Seriously, what the flying f*ck does that even mean? Are we going to go into a boxing ring to duke it out? At 5'9" and 190 pounds, I understand I'm pretty stacked for a person who was born female. I also understand I look mean thanks to the six-inch scar across my face and the tattoos on my back.

However, the average man is also 5'9" and a whole lot stronger than me. Moreover, we're not in the WWE. I'm just trying to find love, so my physical presence shouldn't be an issue unless he has ideas I wouldn't want my man to have.

Are guys "intimidated" by a woman who can live without them? I don't think that's the case, either. When I said I wanted a man to support me and just be a housewife, guys didn't want my ass either. They told me that I wasn't "independent" enough, and now that I have a job of my own, I'm "too intimidating." I don't think I'd want a guy who can't handle me having a career of my own.

Are they absolutely terrified of a woman who will call them out on their sh*t? Oh, well, I'm sorry. I lost interest in dealing with whiny, sniveling little children who claim to be adults. If they can't handle me calmly telling them what they did wrong, why it's unacceptable, and why I won't allow them to treat me that way, they're pathetic.

There are kids out there who are capable of handling criticism and confrontation better than a lot of men I've met, and that's just sad. I'm OK with intimidating these kinds of men because they're clearly not capable of having healthy relationships.

Are guys going to have a heart attack and die if I reject them? If this was the case, I'd understand this advice and agree with it. But they don't have said heart condition. They won't die. (Heck, guys don't even have the courtesy to drop dead when I tell them to do so.)

Are men scared of a person who has had more partners than them? Well, I can't really change the past, now can I? Unfortunately, I enjoy sex and have had it with a slew of different people of all genders. If they are scared of my experience and feel so inadequatethey can't see why I'd want to have them as a partner, I'm inclined to agree with them.

Clearly, a guy who wants someone who's "pure" won't be able to please me. After all, I really don't want to have to spend an entire night coddling a man's ego just because he'll burst into tears after sex if I don't — and that's basically what men who are like this expect me to do.


What even could make me less intimidating, anyway? Should I just erase my personality and turn into an empty shell of a person designed to validate a man's fragile ego? Should I start wearing pink frilly garbage and go back in the closet about my lack of gender? Should I get more desperate?

How much more do women have to do to validate men's petite, fragile egos? How much more garbage should we put up with, and how much more of our personality should we have to hide? Please, tell me. Tell me, because I need to remember why I stopped dating weak people.

You know, for being born a member of the "weaker sex," I can't help but see the irony here. For all the bullsh*t people tell girls about how we're not as strong as men, the ladyfolk sure do have to tiptoe around men's feelings a lot.

It's awfully weird that women are the ones who are most often beaten by their lovers and yet, they're being told they are too intimidating for men. It's strange that I'm told I'm "emotional" when the last time I rejected a guy, it resulted in him having a meltdown via text. But I'm intimidating, right? I'm the boogeyman than men fear so much, right?


I'm just going to call bullsh*t on the "intimidating" reason, because it is bullsh*t. If a guy is too weak to treat me like an equal, he shouldn't be in a relationship — at least, not with me.

Maybe, instead of being told to be sweeter or be more submissive, men should work on not being emotionally weak, passive-aggressive, insecure little sh*ts. That would make dating a whole lot less intimidating for me.