Allowing Your Past To Define You? Why You Must Move On Now

Life Coach Advice: Your Past Does Not Define You
Love, Self

Who you become and what you do with your life is all up to you.

So many women allow their past to define them and hold them back. In fact, your past struggles can empower you and illustrate the lessons you've learned and tell the story of your strength.

"You can view your past in one of two ways: as the brakes that stop you from your dream or the jet fuel that launches you into your dream." -Kelly Rudolph

What if you made bad decisions? We've all done that. Either you were supposed to learn a lesson (and once learned don't have to repeat it) or you made the decision with what you knew at the time. Looking back, if you wouldn't have made that decision today it simply means you've experienced personal growth. Congratulate yourself.

We can all say, "If I'd only known then what I know now..." but that doesn't mean we have any right to beat ourselves up about our lack of knowledge back then. We have control over two things: what we think and what we do.

Get support in using your past to your advantage rather than to your detriment. Are you thinking differently than you did in your past? Great, embrace the path you've traveled. Do you do things differently now than you did in the past? Super! Congratulations. You're human. And as long as you're growing, learning and changing, you're on the right track.

If you experienced abuse in your past, it says nothing about your value; simply that it is part of your story. How can you use it to your advantage and inspire others who may be going through the same thing or in the aftermath? I experienced years of rape and domestic violence in my past and I used that as jet fuel to catapult me into a better life. Even if you inspire one person, you've made a difference and used your past, which became your story, to the advantage of you and someone else.

If there wasn't contrast in our lives, we wouldn't know when something was good or bad. There is a universal law called the Law of Polarity, which means without dark there would be no light and without an outside there would be no inside. When you experience something you don't want, doesn't what you do want become that much clearer? The key is to focus on your do wants instead of your don't wants. This is where the Universal Law of Vibration comes into play. It's physics.

What you hold in mind most often is what you create with your energy. If you dwell on your past, you will attract more of the same into your present and future. Whereas if you focus on what you want (using the Law Of Polarity to help you figure it out) you will draw that into your life.

Is it really that simple? Yes. Is it also easy? No. Why? Because we are brought up to find what's wrong with everything and think about it, talk about it, focus on how to change it and all the while, we are (by the Law of Vibration) pulling more of the same into our lives. We're unknowingly creating exactly what we don't want any more of.

How do we focus on what we want and let go of what we don't want? Practice. Remember, I said, "We have control over two things: what we think and what we do." What we think and do are habits for the most part. And society is big on habits.

What kinds of things do we do every single day: drink three cups of coffee; leave for work at a certain time; get on Facebook and check in with our friends; brush our teeth? What else do you do consistently? (Physics never changes. What you hold in mind most often is what you create.)

Do you even realize you're doing some of the things you do every day? Probably not. Because they are habits and habits are automatic. One of the most detrimental habits most of us have, thanks to years and years of programming by people who didn't know any better, is to focus on what we don't like and don't want as if that will make it go away. Wrong! It creates more of it.

Visualizing exactly what you want with all the good feelings (emotion) you can muster is the best way I've found to create what you want in your life. When you feel yourself going into negative talk (self-talk or with others), you can use your imagination to focus on what you do want instead. Practice, practice, practice. It takes time to change a habit. Especially one you've had all your life.

Click here to download the Visualization Checklist I've created for you so that you can learn the correct way to pull what you want into your life. You may also benefit greatly by reading my article on the Law Of Vibration.

Kelly Rudolph is a Certified Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Founder of Are you tired of stress, lack of confidence and fear about your future? Kelly can help. Begin getting her free Life Strategies now.

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This article was originally published at Positive Women Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.