5 Tricks To Remembering His Name


No one's actual name is what'shisname, forgetting his name could be a real deal breaker.

OK. Quick confession, I cannot get the catchy jam from The Ting Ting's out of my head… "They call me Stacy. They call me her. They call me Jane. That's not my name." Click here for the music video.  It's a big bag of fun.

The new wave, dance punk jam is supposed to be about dealing with music industry "suits" who give vocalist Katie White a hard time. But the song could just as easily be about the age-old romantic eff-up of the face-name disconnect. Watch: Breakfast With What's His Name

In Scrabble, drawing a blank is a generally a good thing, but when rocking your best game at some Hector or Melissa a blank could turn any good first impression into the worst transgression. For some goofy reason, people really like it when you remember their name… particularly when you'd like them to be screaming yours at some point. It's really the second biggest self-c*ck block/ box-out of all time (right after counting the sex before it's hatched).

Here are a few tips that'll work even if you're tipsy:

1. Look them in their eye and say their name over and over in conversation, even if you are not directly talking to them. "Stacy has a good point about the consequences of run-away government." Bill Clinton uses this technique to remember people's names from years back... [insert your own Slick Willy joke here]. 

2. Use a mnemonic* device. When learning the person's name, try using rhyming, alliteration or another reference to recall the name. If his name is Leonard and he has a chinstrap beard, he can be Lincoln Lenny or Penny Lenny. Seinfeld only had to remember a word that rhymes with a woman's anatomy (is Mulva even a name?).

3. Write it down. One of the best ways to remember anything is to write it down.  Chances are you'll have a mobile phone or a pen and paper handy. This is sort of a weak move but way better than brain fading when it's go-time.

4. Association. If you can think of a character, celebrity or person in your life with the same first name, use it. Transpose a mental image of them standing together. Be careful not use a celebrity and then confuse a character he/ she plays, for example, if his name is Leonard, think of Leonardo but not of Jack, Danny Archer, Gilbert Grape, William Costigan or Howard Hughes, per se.

5. Technology. Facebook this person as fast as you can. Many handhelds allow you to hit Facebook remotely. If that fails, take a pic on the downlow and label it with that person's name (if you've the technological capacity).

  • Last-ditch efforts, nicknames. Using someone's most attractive feature as nickname will work for a little while. Be prepared to dig through someone's wallet as soon as they leave for the bathroom (I kid).
  • Really last-ditch effort, ask. If you really like this person, but not enough to remember his/ her name obviously, ask them. But take an angle on your query. Maybe ask if he/ she was named after anyone of what they think of the name.

*Mnemonic is a homophone of Pneumonic, but a plague of the latter variety is likelier to get you quarantined in China.

Holler at us with any good forgotten name stories.