Reflective Listening


Verbal communication is essentially an inaccurate way to transfer information and is a skill we have to learn and develop. This tool/exercise is designed to enhance and improve communication between couples.

Excellent communication is a very important life skill because by hearing the other person’s point of view and in turn feeling heard yourself, both sides feel heard and validated.

If you see a man and a woman together, chances are the woman will be talking and the man will be listening. On average women speak thousands more words a day than men do!

The bottom line is neither gender is particularly good at communicating – oftentimes men just don’t speak, and woman speak many words, but don’t always communicate what they really feel.

Reflective listening exercise:

• Create some quiet time together with your partner
• Listen to them without interruption or judgment
• When they have finished, reflect back to them what you think you heard them say
• Ask them if you heard them correctly and clarify anything that wasn’t heard correctly
• Repeat the process with them listening and reflecting what you say