11 Things That Make Truly Brilliant People Instantly Uncomfortable, According To Psychology
Despite all of the talents of intellectual individuals, some things make them feel quite uneasy.
mimagephotography | Shutterstock Brilliant individuals are often praised and admired for their intellect and self-assurance. Their qualities allow them to capture everyone's attention the second they walk into the room, and because of that, people often gravitate towards them. However, there are certain things that make truly brilliant people instantly uncomfortable, which others might not even realize. Because they're so in-tune and feel things deeply, it's extremely easy for them to feel overstimulated and even misunderstood at times.
Coming to terms with the things that make them uncomfortable can help better understand them as well. It can help form deeper connections and encourage them to navigate the complex situations that may trigger them. Considering their discomforts are quite subtle, it can end up feeling as if it's rooted in fear, or they're being arrogant or aloof. But the reality is quite the opposite, and because their minds work at such a speedy rate, they just need more time and grace to process it all.
Here are 11 things that make truly brilliant people instantly uncomfortable, according to psychology
1. Small talk
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For brilliant individuals, having to engage in small talk can sometimes make them feel a bit uncomfortable. It isn't because they don't want to talk or make connections with the people around them, but rather because they prefer deep, meaningful interactions over the idle chit-chat that is more common when you first meet someone.
Most people actually would rather prefer to do anything else than have small talk. Interestingly enough, a survey from Preply found that most Americans (71%) prefer silence to small talk, while 2 in 3 Americans have used their phones to avoid making small talk.
Brilliant individuals have no interest in discussing things like the weather or about which sports teams have made it to the finals. The surface-level dialogue ends up not only making them uncomfortable but bored as well.
2. Blindly following authority
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The one thing that brilliant individuals always do is question everything. They aren't trying to be rebellious, but their curious nature means they have to understand the why behind the things they are told to do, especially if it's coming from an authority figure.
If they have to blindly listen without being given the chance to question and get to the bottom of the things, it can end up making them feel quite uncomfortable and uneasy. In their minds, having to blindly follow behind someone means they aren't given the room to use their minds and think critically.
Cognitive and transpersonal therapist Andrea Mathews explained that the "biggest problem" with most individuals that question authority is that "it assumes that the only real authorities are those outside of us."
"It does not allow room for the fact — central to our mental health — that we are the final authority over our lives. Whether we handle that authority well or not, nevertheless, we are the final authority. The truth is that the more we believe only in external authority, the less we are making effective choices based on our own internal authority," she revealed.
3. Overly rigid routines
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While intelligent individuals definitely prefer a bit of structure to their day, they have a bit of an issue with overly rigid ones. Having no room to be flexible and explore things on their own time is one of the things that make truly brilliant people instantly uncomfortable.
These people value not wasting their time or doing things that don't actively stimulate their minds. When routines are forced upon them with zero room for them to actually be creative or have the choice to deviate and do something different, it ends up feeling as if they're being constricted.
When every day looks exactly the same, it won't be long until they start feeling bored. Clinical psychologist Lisa Firestone insisted that having strict routines can actually be "cutting us off from a more vital way of engaging with the world."
"A particular routine may make us feel more secure or unchallenged, muting some of our fears around uncertainty. However, it may also be closing us off to our sense of awe, curiosity, or excitement," she said.
"This is because whenever we attempt to use anything — be it a substance or a rigid pattern of behavior — to numb a negative emotion, we often inadvertently also shut out our more profound, positive ones."
4. Having to constantly explain themselves
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When brilliant individuals are forced to have to over-explain themselves, it can end up making them feel as if their way of thinking or communicating is "too much." Because they think at such a rapid pace and their ideas can come out quite quickly, others may have a hard time grasping the things they are trying to say.
While their minds are considered their biggest strength, it can also end up making them feel a bit disconnected from those around them and, in turn, they often feel uncomfortable with having to re-explain what they're thinking along with their intentions. Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis encouraged those that have trouble with over-explaining themselves to truly sit with the reasons why they may feel the need to do so.
"Work on increasing your comfort with this feeling. For example, if you find that you overshare due to not being believed, practice sitting with the feeling of not being believed," Gillis advised. "Likewise, if you overtalk due to social anxiety, develop increased comfort with not talking to fill the silence. Allow yourself to develop an increased comfort and desensitization to these feelings, and some should decrease over time."
5. Lack of alone time
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Highly intelligent individuals need their time to recharge and have some alone time. While they may appear incredibly social and confident, they also have a deep desire for solitude when their social batteries tend to run low.
It's not that they don't enjoy being around others and filling their space with good conversation and company, but when they have too much of these interactions without putting time in for themselves, it can end up making them feel quite uncomfortable. Those moments where they can just disappear mean they're able to return and be more present, but when that space is denied, it truly starts to affect their well-being.
Positive psychologist Itai Ivtzan pointed out that there are some key benefits to spending time alone including increased self-awareness, enhanced creativity, and reduced stress and anxiety.
He encouraged those to remember that "the journey of self-discovery is unique to each individual. Embrace the process, and allow yourself the time and space to explore your inner world."
6. Being rushed to make decisions
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One of the most irritating things that make truly brilliant people instantly uncomfortable is being put in a position where they're forced to rush and make a decision. They are the type of people who process information thoroughly and with caution because they want to make sure they're coming to the right conclusion that works for them.
In the event that they're forced to rush those factors, it can end up causing them to feel immense amounts of anxiety. On top of that, being rushed can lead to feelings of invalidation as they may feel that their process to make decisions isn't being respected or valued by those around them.
Clinical social worker Bob Taibbi explained that "learning to be decisive is learning not to let anxiety run your life, learning that there are no mistakes, focusing on doing the best you can right now, recognizing that all decisions are not equally important, and accepting that you can control only this moment."
7. Having to defend what they're passionate about
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These individuals don't just have their passion projects as something to pass the time. It's more than just a hobby. It's something that truly reflects their values and what they're curious about. So, the second that they're met with dismissal or even skepticism about the projects that they're passionate about, it can be incredibly invalidating and uncomfortable.
Brilliant people often see the vision of how a project is supposed to turn out before anyone else can, so they end up dedicating their time and energy to making sure it sees fruition. The one thing they need is support, even if people may not fully understand what they're trying to do. As long as they have those around them that really believe in them and their abilities, it can make the world of a difference.
8. People who don't respond with questions
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A one-sided conversation is simply not interesting to brilliant individuals and can make them feel quite uneasy, especially if they're asking someone all these questions and receiving nothing back. For a conversation to be truly engaging to them, they need to interact with someone that is just as naturally curious as they are.
When that energy isn't being reciprocated, the conversation can end up feeling quite unfulfilling. The issue isn't that they're demanding attention from others, but that they just don't want to have to be the only person that is contributing to the conversation. It ends up feeling as if they're simply talking into a void, and no one enjoys feeling as if they're being a burden to someone else.
9. Being told to 'just relax' when they're just in deep thought
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Despite what others may think, intelligent individuals aren't always overthinking or zoning out. Most of the time, their thoughts are just consuming them and they just need time to process them. Being told to "just relax" is one of the many things that make truly brilliant people instantly uncomfortable, and can feel insulting.
Them being deep in thought is just their natural way of existing, and for them to be told they're doing too much, it can make it feel as if they need to hide a certain part of themselves because of how much they're being judged and perceived from it.
If they're also anxious, according to licensed mental health counselor Anthony Smith, telling them to calm down or relax can "make them feel unsupported and irritated." What they truly need in those moments is for someone to respect the space they're in or, even better, join them in thoughtfulness instead of making them feel bad for doing it in the first place.
10. Being expected to multitask constantly
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Don't get it twisted, brilliant individuals are definitely highly capable and can juggle many different things and manage multiple projects. However, it doesn't mean they thrive or even enjoy being under that constant stress of having to multitask. When it's expected of them, it can end up making them feel emotionally drained and ultimately uncomfortable.
Just like everyone else, they need time to decompress and come back to themselves. By being pressured to always be the ones that are managing everything, they will start to feel as if their presence isn't being valued.
11. Overly loud environments
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Brilliant individuals are quite sensitive to a lot of things, but especially loud noises. In environments that are overly loud and boisterous, they can end up becoming much more irritated and uneasy quicker.
These kinds of environments often make it harder for them to actually think and because their brains absorb information in much quicker succession, it can end up causing them to feel quite overwhelmed. Additionally, research, including one 2018 study, has found that loud noises make people irritable and anxious, and make it harder to calm down.
Without the space to retreat and calm down, the loud noises can take a toll on their senses, and eventually, they'll start to cave in on themselves. To others around them, it can look as if they're being arrogant or aloof when, in reality, they are simply trying to find peace in such a disruptive environment.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
