11 Brilliant Things Working-Class Parents Teach Their Kids That Fancy Private Schools Never Will
There's power in overcoming adversity.
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock While it's true that things like lacking job flexibility and poor parental involvement greatly influence health, well-being, and behavior outcomes for kids in working-class families, according to a study from the Journal of Family Psychology, there are also certain things — like work ethic and stress management — that working-class parents teach their kids early in life that set them up for success later on.
The brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private schools never will come from experience — being in the room with parents working multiple jobs, talking about stress, and even coping with it all with grace. Being in a working-class family can urge families to grapple with a lot of adversity, but the growth and resilience that comes with it is something that you can't simply "teach" to private school kids.
Here are 11 brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private schools never will
1. Hard work
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Studies, including one from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, show that adversity often teaches people resilience to a higher degree than other situations and environments. While situations like growing up in a low-income family or experiencing trauma in life certainly have other psychological and physical symptoms, self-discipline and work ethic often follows closely behind.
Especially when it comes to navigating financial hardship, persevering through adversity, and even managing multiple responsibilities at one time, the people who grew up in an environment where all of things were present are more equipped than ever to handle it now.
Many of the brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private school never will revolve around experience. If you've been around it or have the experience of watching your parents work ethic and coping skills to manage stress, you may be at an advantage for handling adversity later in life.
2. Financial resourcefulness
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While there's certainly a lot of pain and exclusion behind younger children's experiences in working-class households from a financial standpoint, like occasionally not having the money to do extracurriculars, school sports, or class trips, there's a level of resourcefulness that many kids learn simply from watching their parents.
Even if their parents kept them out of conversations about money, they could pick up on their resourcefulness — stretching meals, saving money for a specific event, and simply making things work when there wasn't a lot of extra money to go around. So, while private school kids watched their parents spend without reservation, kids from working-class families learned the value of a dollar and the importance of mindful spending.
3. Gratitude for the little things
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When you don't grow up in a household where you immediately get everything you want without reservation or struggle with money, it can be difficult to learn gratitude. You don't know what it's like to have less than or nothing. However, gratitude is one of the brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private school never will and it sets them up for lifetime success.
Thankfully, expressing gratitude and prioritizing giving "thanks" in your daily life can have profound impacts on your mental and physical health — from increasing happiness, to promoting more meaningful social connections, and even boosting better psychological outcomes.
So, not only are kids from working-class families growing up with a better sense of inner peace — grateful for the little things and relationships they have in their lives, even when things are hard — they tend to foster more meaningful relationships with others by regularly practicing their gratitude.
4. Supporting themselves
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When things are hard — whether you're going through relationship struggles or a tough time financially — oftentimes the person you lean on the most is yourself. When you cope with stress in a healthy way, and more importantly, have the tools and experience to be resilient, adversity doesn't consume you.
That's why self-reliance and at times self-discipline are a few of the brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private schools never will. Many kids who grew up in these households don't have the safety net, the connections, or the knowledge and advice of prestigious parents to prompt them into success in adulthood, so they have to learn, be open, and rely on themselves.
5. Navigating social norms
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Whether it's gender inequality, patriarchal pressures, or general social norms like workplace dress codes, oftentimes kids from working-class families are forced to learn how to navigate these experiences directly. They don't have the connections or money to safeguard them from experiencing some of the more unhelpful and toxic social norms that fancy private school kids are sheltered from.
While studies do show that men from low-income families tend to fare worse than their female counterparts, in general, experiences from parents in these environments give kids practical skills and tools to navigate the world later in life.
6. Laughing at themselves
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Laughing at yourself and utilizing humor to navigate adversity can improve self-esteem and reduce stress, according to research in Personality and Individual Differences. However, learning to perfect this skill is often harder than it sounds.
While every kid, regardless of their economic status growing up, is held to unique expectations and social norms, oftentimes private school kids are encouraged to take themselves seriously in accordance with rigid rules, expectations, and goals.
On the other hand, kids who grew up in working-class parents are taught to embrace the little things and be grateful for the things they do have, so when adversity strikes, they can laugh at themselves, make light of a bad situation, and even take accountability for their mistakes.
7. Being kind to everyone
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According to a study from the journal Emotion, people living in low-income situations and who've grown up in working-class families generally offer up compassion, kindness, and empathy quicker than their high-income counterparts.
It's one of the brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private schools never will, because while both environments may be socially competitive, lower-income households learn gratitude, rather than constant individualism.
8. Not equating wealth to self-worth
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The idea that wealth doesn't equate to self-worth is one of the brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private schools never will. They don't form their entire lives, relationships, or aspirations around work and money, although it may be a point of adversity or stress, it doesn't consume their whole identity.
Outside of wealth, many low-income households also inadvertently teach their kids that their identity doesn't need to be tied to their job either. Many low-income people work multiple jobs and in positions to support themselves and their families, not necessarily to find purpose and growth.
While wealthier families have the freedom of flexibility and choice — to pursue higher education, pass up on jobs they don't want, and leverage connections — teaching their kids that their careers are a fundamental part of their lives and personalities, working-class kids may have a better mentality around identity, personal time, and work.
9. Trusting their gut
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The idea of "street smarts" — a combination of experiential learning, social interactions, and resilience — is often one of the brilliant things working-class parents teach their kids that fancy private schools never will. They learn from experience, putting themselves out of their comfort zones, meeting new people, and trying things that kids in private schools would only ever read about.
It prompts them with the gift of intuition. They're able to practice trusting their gut and relying solely on themselves to seek stability, success, and comfort.
10. Talking to anyone
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Oftentimes, people learn their social behaviors and skills from those around them, at least according to a study from Frontiers in Neuroscience. While it's possible to evolve in these skills later in life, their foundation tends to grow early in life from parents and childhood experiences.
Children who grow up in working-class families often have low parental involvement — parents working more laborious hours than their wealthy counterparts — and experience and interact on their own. They learn to talk to anyone, advocate for themselves, and navigate social and professional situations without a safety net. They learn social skills because they're forced to.
While kids in wealthier families may be pressured to adopt a prestigious and exclusive language in their daily lives, the plain, simple, and authentic language working-class kids learn from a young age is actually more productive and important.
11. Community
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While kids from fancy private schools may have sponsored activities like clubs, extracurriculars, and travel sports to fund with their parents financial wealth, the community that comes from shared experience in working-class neighborhoods and families often crafts much different outcomes.
Not only does it often serve as a true community of helping hands and connection — with small favors that truly make a difference and relationships chosen intentionally — it teaches kids to be grateful and accepting of people of all backgrounds.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
