5 Love Questions Saint Valentine Ask Before Blessing Your Union


Planning to get married soon? Maybe even on Valentine's Day? But would the saint bless your union?

There are several accounts of Saint Valentine out there and officially the Catholic Church had several saints that carried the Valentinus name. My favorite and the account that has led to our Saint Valentine’s Day tradition stems from two anecdotal stories.

The first story narrates that Saint Valentine sustained his faith in spite of being asked to renounce it, healed a blind girl in front of the Judge Asterius, a not so nice Roman judge and although allowed to continue to practice his faith, he was still executed on February 14th. Later Saint Valentine was also credited with marrying young couples when it was illegal to do so because the young men were called to war. 

In any case, performing miracles, executed for your faith and for love’s sake obviously qualifies you for sainthood. Therefore, I wonder would Saint Valentine bless love for just any couple? What would a Renaissance saint require from a couple to bless their union? And is it what most bring to the relationship today?

Gathering information from the last few centuries is probably not the best approach. So, using contemporary standards and lifestyle I created an equal version for today’s modern couples. Look to see if you have what Saint Valentine might require before he helps you seal the deal before God.

Give yourselves 2 points for each YES answer, 0 points for each NO and -1 for a So-So answer that hasn’t been discussed. 

Add the points and see the answer key at the end.

1. Usually couples were required to be Catholic, practicing Catholics, and participating actively in the community’s Catholic feasts and holy days. 

a. Translated to today: Do you honor your partner or fiance’s devotion to his/her faith, their family’s holy days, and are you willing and able to participate alternately and equally with each family so that traditions are respected on both sides?

2. The groom was required to have a way to provide for the bride (symbolized by wedding arras today) and many times the brides brought a dowry as well. The dower, or bride’s family provides a gift.

a. Translated today: Are you both financially able to sustain the marriage and children? Did you discuss finances, common checking accounts, know each other’s financial status, and who will pay for what?

3. Women were expected to know how to cook and clean and keep the household in tip top shape.

a. Translated today: Have you discussed the upkeep of the home? Do you know who has the primary responsibility for cooking dinner, or scrubbing the bathrooms? Will it be shared evenly?

4. Children were a part of every marriage and couples were expected to agree to have as many children as The Good Lord sent them.

a. Translated today: Have you discussed children? Do you know when you will start a family? Did you decide how many children you will have?

5. Couples would usually live with one side of the family until years later when they could have their own place, and usually that meant taking their widowed mothers or fathers with them.

a. Translated today: Have you decided where you will live? If transferred by work, whose career will take precedence? Will you keep her place? Will you keep his place? Will you have a new place of your own? And, if either of you have an elderly parent, do you have a plan or accept having your parents or in-laws in your home if necessary? What about stepchildren? Could they live with you full-time? Will you be okay with regular visits?

Quiz Results:

9-10 points: You have a great shot at married life happiness. Congratulations!

7-8 points: Your chances are very good. That’s a great start! But clear things up that you haven’t discussed. Don’t wait to be surprised.

5-6 points: You should extend your engagement. Wait a few months, maybe go to see a marriage or couple’s counselor or minister. Don’t rush. You still haven’t agreed on important matters.

4 or less: I have had couple’s like this in my office. The news is not good. If you can only agree on 2 topics or less from above, you should postpone the wedding until you can improve your communication and clear things up.