8 Ways To Avoid Those AWFUL Awkward Silences On Dates

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8 Tips to Avoid Awkward Silences on Dates


We've all been there. You're on a first date, the conversation has been flowing, you've already asked all the basic questions like, "What do you do for a living? Where are you from? What are your hobbies?"

But then it hits you: the awkward silence. The moment where neither of you really know what to say, and now the silence is growing deeper and deeper. You start to panic. You're trying to think hard and fast of something, anything to say.

You start feeling like the whole table will be consumed and you know the longer the silence continues, the less of a chance you have of ever seeing this date again.

Don’t be an awkward silence victim! Too many potential couples have met this horrible fate and look where their relationships are now: non-existent.

The key to breaking an awkward silence is to not let one occur in the first place! Here are 8 first date do’s and dont’s to stop an awkward silence from ruining your date:

1. Give them a safe compliment.

The best way to fill any kind of silence is to throw out a compliment. Take a deep breath, relax, shift yourself forward, and say "You look great this evening" or "That's a nice shirt" (as long as her chest is not hanging out distractingly. If you say that, it obviously could be taken the wrong way).

A compliment is a surefire way to make your date smile while dissolving any awkwardness. Also, it's a good way to show you’re interested and to help move yourself away from "just friends" into something more.

But be careful not to get creepy. If you just met her and tell her she has amazing legs but you don’t know if she’s all the way into you, you’re just going to make scare her.

2. Smile, nod, and make eye contact.

Smiling, nodding, and making eye contact are 3 key body language moves that encourage your date to keep talking. These moves let them know that you're enjoying what they're saying and you want to hear more.

If you're looking away or acting distracted, your date will assume you're not interested, and thus the awkward silence will begin.

3. Actually listen to her and respond, genuinely. 

People love to talk about themselves. If you're nervous at the beginning, encourage your date to talk by asking questions that will help you to uncover their passions and what they enjoy talking about. Every time she says something, make a statement that affirms it. Then you can ask a question.

For example, if she says, "I just got my dog from the vet", you can reply, "Oh I love dogs. What kind of dog do you have?" And so the conversation continues.

4. Avoid any TMI topics.

Don’t bring up any TMI topics (too much information). No one wants to hear about your weird habits or strange turn-ons. When you're getting to know each other, it’s better to keep conversations at least PG rated.

In a similar way, bringing up your ex or asking questions about her ex is off limits on the first date. Not only does it rehash the past, but it just makes for awkward conversation. Leave the past in the past and just think about today.

Talk to your date with as much respect and politeness you would give royalty.

5. Don’t interview her.

A date is not an interview! The last thing you want after a hard day at work is to go on a date and be drilled.

Avoid questions like, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?", "What do you think about marriage?", or "What are you looking for in your future boyfriend?"

These questions are a surefire way to make your date go running in the opposite direction.

On the first date, you should casually get to know each other, not access if she is ultimate marriage material. At this point, it is more about just seeing if the two of you click.

6. Do something active.

I always encourage clients to avoid the sit-down dinner date. Whether you go rock climbing, bowling, or just simply walking in the park, being in a new environment always encourages conversation.

These activities allow you to relax and open up about yourself more and not feel the pressure to keep the conversation going.

7. Choose safe topics.

Getting to know your date means it is safe to ask the likes and dislikes questions. You want to see how much you have in common!

Ask about movies, hobbies, passions, what they find themselves reading and searching on the internet for, or why they chose the profession they did. These questions give you more insight into what kind of person they are.

8. Don’t force it.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you do or say, you just happened to land a boring date. If your date is boring and awkward, don’t stress yourself. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Forcing conversation is not any fun. It’s totally fine to be honest with your date and say you didn’t feel like you had a connection if they say they want to see you again and you’re just not feeling it. If she’s mature, she’ll appreciate your honesty.

Stay on your game and keep moving forward.  The world needs more great guys like you who take the time and invest in themselves.