How To Limit TV, Internet And Other Libido Killers


What if you could have twice as much sex with one small change? Researchers say you can. Technology may be robbing you of a toe-curling sex life. You haven't noticed the silent alarm, but chances are you're getting robbed each and every night.

Two of the biggest reasons for not being intimate with your partner are lack of time and lack of energy. If we don't use technology carefully, we can lose too much of both, leaving little time and energy for romance. How's that, you say? Let me count the ways.

TV and Romance Don't Mix
There must be something unsexy about watching Jay Leno or the evening news in bed, because couples who have TVs in the bedroom report half as much sex as those who do not have TVs there, according to a 2006 Italian study. (Over-50s had an even greater reduction in sexual frequency with a TV present.) Violent films and reality shows were top passion-busters.

With an ever-present TV, you get sucked into one of the hundreds of available channels, then watch until you're too tired to continue. Who's more important to you, Leno or your lover? You don't have to give up television entirely, but if you want more sex or to be more in the mood for sex, allow your bedroom to serve it's true purpose—not as an entertainment center but as a boudoir of love. Improved sex and sleep are two things that will put a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

Not-So-Smart Phones
I love my smart phone as much as the next girl, but it's very likely getting in the way of you and your honey getting busy. Ask around, and you'll find there are plenty of people who interrupt romantic activities when they hear the phone ring or a text come in. In fact, a recent survey by reported 7 percent of respondents admitted to checking their phones DURING sex. (Just so we're clear, this only acceptable if you have a family member in surgery.)

Turning attention away from your sweetheart during intimacy conveys that he or she is less important than the person trying to reach you. It's also a total turnoff. Checking it during a romantic dinner is only slightly better than during sex. However, sending an emailed love note or a sexy text is a great way to make use of the technology. 20 Relationships And Technology Dos And Don'ts

It's possible you have a harder time leaving the house without your phone than without your mate. A different survey by concluded users placed their smart phones at same value in their lives as their intimate relationships.

Practice taking short breaks from your phone. Turn it off for one or two hours in the evening, particularly if you're planning to spend time together. Once you get used to the idea of a short break from your phone, consider a longer break during the weekend to reconnect with your partner and disconnect from everyone else. You'll find it's still waiting there when you return, and all of your emails and texts will be intact.

Surfing's Not So Sexy
While many of us connect to the internet on our phones, others are incessantly working on their computers or surfing the net on their laptops from the couch or bed. If you and your partner both enjoy spending your evenings doing this, it may not be as large of a problem. However, even if you're in agreement—and really verify that you are in agreement—you're still choosing the internet over intimacy or together-time with your sweetheart. There are online timers that allow you to control your browsing time and remind you when it's time to switch from Facebook to face time.

Connecting with the online world is not the same as connecting with people in intimate or in-person encounters. In fact, we may be harming our ability to connect with others by becoming addicted to technology. The University of Maryland concluded in a 2010 study that most college students are functionally unable to be without their media links to the world for even one day. Without technology, they felt disconnected, even to those close by. Many Couples No Longer Communicate In Person

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Try to recapture some of the nonessential time you spend with technology, and spend it instead bonding with your living, breathing partner.