How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Your Others (So You Stop Thinking You're Not 'Good Enough')

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Reason Why You’re Right When You Think You’ll Never Be Good Enough

Why do you think you're not good enough?

"I'm not good enough."

As painful as it is, you’re 100 percent correct when you think you’re not good enough and you never will be. But remember, you’re also 100 percent wrong if you think it’s because you’re in some way defective or less than someone (or even everyone) else.

The reason you’re both right and in error can be summarized in one word — comparison. In order to build confidence, you need to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others, whether it's your friends, family members, coworkers, or even strangers.

When you compare yourself to others, how many times do you compare favorably? Probably not anywhere near as many as you find yourself lacking

When you decide you’re not as attractive as your fabulously fit friend, you’re right because it’s what you’ve decided to be true. When you decide you’re not as accomplished as your coworker, you’re right because it’s what you’ve decided to be true.

When you decide you’re not as thin, or rich, or lovable, or kind, or whatever it is you’re measuring against someone else, you’re right because it’s what you’ve decided to be true.

But in each of these cases, you’re also absolutely wrong.

RELATED: 10 Scientific Ways To Massively Boost Your Confidence

And it’s this error that needs correction — immediately. It’s this error that’s causing you the pain, that is so incredibly hurtful, and preventing you from living the life you can and frankly deserve to be living.

The error you’re making is that you’re judging yourself against some external standard instead of a loving internal one.

Looking only to external standards for your self-worth is a no-win situation. It’s your pure internal standards that matter not the ones you think you should have. Manufactured standards deny your inner knowing of who you are and what’s important to and about you.

It’s only when you judge yourself against yourself that you can correct the error that’s at the root of your thought that you’re never good enough.

You might also believe that you’re not good enough because of what others have done or said to you.

RELATED: 9 Little Ways To Build Your Self-Confidence (That Actually Really Work!)

The same error is at play here, too. You’re using their behavior (an external factor) to color your perception of yourself.

And, those people are making the same error because they’re judging you against their prejudices which are blinding them to who you truly are.

The truth is you are good enough.

Let that sink in past all the judgment, past all the hurtful words you’ve said or had said to you, past all the expectations. Let it sink into your inner-most being, the small precious part of you that is so in need and deserving of your love and attention.

You were born good enough. Nothing and no one can change that.

It’s a falsehood to believe anything different. If you’re consistently comparing yourself to some outside standard instead of basking in the perfection of who you are, then you’re going to be miserable. You’re going to believe that you’ll never be good enough.

If, however, you can start shifting your perspective and start celebrating instead of judging yourself, you’ll discover the greatest truth of all — you are good enough, always have been and will be.

RELATED: How To Find Happiness Even When You Feel Insecure (And Never Good Enough)

Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert and creator of the neuroscience Neuro Associative Programming (NAP). If you need help finding your truth and living an authentic life, reach out to her or e-mail her at Lisa@finetofab.com.

This article was originally published at FinetoFab. Reprinted with permission from the author.