Whats Wrong With Dating Online?


The Matchmaker discusses online dating. Her thoughts regarding finding "the one" online vs real life

What’s wrong with online dating? Nothing, honestly. It works for some people. I know couples who are very happy together that have met online. Some people enjoy browsing 1000′s of photos and reading 1000′s of profiles to choose a few singles to email.


As a Chicago area matchmaker I am privy to many intimate details about the search for “the one“. I hear about clients sending out 100′s of e-mails that don’t get answered and receiving strange e-mails from even stranger people. I hear about the long length of time it takes just to find a date to take out for dinner or drinks. And then to find out all that time was wasted- because in real life there was just no chemistry.

I tried online dating a few years ago and hated it. I hated not knowing who the person really was, hated putting a photo of myself out there and trying so hard to “bait” someone to communicate with me. I really, really hated the communication; e-mails back and forth until you decide to chat on the phone… it seemed so difficult and time consuming. Then…. you agree to a date, get all dolled up and the guy is a total NO. (I’m sure this happens to guys too!) Thinking back, I wonder how much time was wasted on the search, the emails, the chatting and then preparing for this date that if I had had met him on the street (or speed dating) I would have known INSTANTLY that he was a NO.


This is where speed dating comes in. It’s fast. Yes, I know… only 6 minutes to meet someone makes it really difficult to know if there is potential… but that’s the point. You WILL know in 6 minutes weather or not you could handle a 2 hour dinner date with him or her. You won’t know if you want to raise a family together or pick out matching rocking chairs.

Dating is a numbers game. Increase your dating pool by attending a speed dating event, you’ll meet 8-16 potential dates in under two hours in a quiet, nice lounge, with some other fun singles. Choose a few dates that that you had a connection with and then go have a first real date. I bet this first date is less nerve racking than meeting someone from match.com!


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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.