3 Seriously Odd Mistakes Women Have No Idea They Make With Men

Photo: Unsplash: Almos Bechtold
3 Seriously Odd Mistakes Women Have No Idea They Make With Men

A few minor fixes and he'll fall madly in love!

Wondering how to get a guy to like you is a confusing state of mind to be in, one that can cause even the most attractive women out there to do or say something they later regret. After all, when you meet a man and the two of you start dating, the last thing you want to do is make some odd mistake like the ones you made in the past when you were trying too hard, and that ultimately led to painful breakups.

Your first few encounters with a man set the tone for where your relationship will go, including whether or not he'll ever fall in love with you, so it's important to take some extra precautions in order to put your best foot forward with men.


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You may ultimately decide that he's not your soulmate, but heeding this love advice along the way will help ensure that you'll be the one who gets to make that decision.

With that in mind, here are three seriously odd mistakes even the most attractive women have no idea they make when they're trying too hard to get a guy to like them.

1. You offer to pay the bill.

When a guy asks you out, he’s excited about you. He wants to put his own best foot forward and demonstrate one simple thing — that he can make your life better.

He picks a restaurant or an event he thinks you will enjoy and sets out to make it happen.

He wants to take full credit for making you happy, when he’s suddenly confronted with the dilemma of you offering to pay your half of the bill.

This gesture, as polite and independently-minded as you may think it should seem, signals to him one of two things you may not intend it to.

  • One, that you’re not interested in him romantically and are letting him know gently that he's been put into the friend zone.
  • Or two, there’s not much he can do to make your life better because you're already taking care of your own needs.

I know these aren't your intentions and that this thinking may seem like it isn't "modern" or egalitarian, but please, don’t offer to pay the bill anyway.

A good man wants to pay for you. It gives him a sense of pleasure and accomplishment, and it sets the tone for him to continue courting you. And if you like him, that's exactly what you want him to do.

2. You give him the gift of "free" sex.

While a guy who’s into you wants to have sex with you as soon as possible, having sex with a guy before he feels he’s earned it is another common mistake.

Guys will beg for sex they know they haven’t earned and then be turned off by you after they get it. How messed up is that? Regardless, it's true.

The key here is knowing that when it comes to men and sex, anticipation most often trumps consummation.

Most men wants to enjoy the challenge of winning you over. Without that, It’s not as much fun for them, and it can diminish their perception of your value.

The best thing you can do when a guy tries to go there too soon is to let him know how attracted you are to him, too, but that you don’t feel comfortable taking that step until you get to know each other better. Right or wrong, this positions you in his eyes as a woman of high-value.


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3. You start planning future dates.

When you’re having a great time with a guy, it’s normal to want to know when you’re going to see him again. You feel a connection and you want to keep it going. But reaching out with  even a subtle plan for another date is another common mistake to make.

You may think you’re being casual and nice inviting him to come along to an event you’re already planning on attending. Or you may think he'd enjoy doing something he mentioned on your first date. 

Those are nice thoughts, but here's the problem. As strange as this sounds, men thrive on not knowing how into them you are or are not.

It all comes back to him wanting to win you over, so I suggest you get comfortable with letting him set the spacing between dates and not try to make one happen before he does.

Men fall in love when they’re away from you.

They fall in love when it’s not easy and they have to put in an effort. If you’re going to have a long-term relationship with a guy, he has to believe it was his idea and that he had to struggle to win you over.

Overall, these are all simple mistakes to avoid.

First, don’t pay the bill. Let him take care of you and set the tone for him to court you.

Second, don’t have sex with him until he’s earned it. Remember that for men, anticipation trumps consummation. You’ll know when the time is right when you feel comfortable that he’s serious about you.

Third, let him plan the next date. You want to find out how he handles reality. If a man has what it takes to build a relationship with you, he will have a plan for how to get you there.

Make no mistake about it, trust the process and let him win you over.


RELATED: 11 Dating Mistakes Women Make (As Told By A Woman Who Made ALL Of Them)


James Allen Hanrahan is a highly sought after dating and relationship coach for STRONG women based in Los Angeles. Get his FREE Chemistry to Commitment formula for lasting love. If you're a smart woman struggling to achieve relationship success, check out the treasure trove of men's secrets to fall in love in A Life of Love.