The Manifesto EVERY Divorced Woman Needs To Hear

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confidence after divorce

It's time to reclaim the power you've had all along.

Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with women who divorced in the prime of midlife. They’ve been around the block a few times with relationships  many married for more than 20 years.

They’ve been duped, lied to, deceived. All of them have one thing in common:

They have lost trust in themselves.


They've lost trust in their own capability to make the right choices. And given recent forays into online dating (if you've tried it yourself, you know what I mean), they've also lost faith that it’s even possible to meet a great man and have a rockin,’ fabulous love life.

Maybe you know what I mean. You gave away your power to a man who would ultimately control your finances, your ability to feel pleasure and your value as a woman and as a human being.

You blame ‘the ex’ for taking that away, but in truth, no one takes your power from you. You give it away. It’s not about them. It’s all about you.

So, how do you reclaim your power after giving it away for so long?


It doesn’t happen overnight, but with the right tools and a commitment to love yourself first, you can get there. In fact, you CAN have a rockin’ fabulous love life with a partner who respects and adores you and who prioritizes you above all else.

But first, you need to claim it. You need to be the person you want to fall in love with.

What you need is a post-divorce manifesto to reclaim your power!


A manifesto is a declaration — often political in nature  that states the beliefs and tenets of a specific person or group. While gender can be a political issue, this is less about gender politics and more about how, we, as women, need to step into our true power and claim our right to true, unequivocal, soul-rocking love.

If you're reading this, you have likely given away your power too freely and, as a result, have sacrificed your own happiness.

It sometimes comes from the mistaken belief that if you make others happy, you will be happy too. And while giving to others is essential to living a full and happy life, it’s not sufficient in and of itself.

When you own your power, you become a whole, complete woman. You are fully present to others and to yourself: 

You take great care of your body  you feed it food that sustains and enhances you. You do what it takes to keep your body strong and vibrant.

You care for your mind (and heart) when you learn to recognize thoughts and emotions as conditioned responses that have no power to control you. When you bring them to light for what they are, simply, they lose their grip and you can easily see their folly and let them go.

You learn to put yourself first, and while this may sound selfish on the surface, it’s only when you truly take care of yourself that you are able to give freely and abundantly to others.

You learn to lead with desire and value contrast, as it helps you keep a clear vision of who you are, what you want, and where you are going.

You learn to trust your gut. To discern your options. To spot patterns, and break them. You will never be duped again.

As a result, you make good choices, enjoy authentic, loving relationships, experience more joy, have more fulfilling careers and are a better partner and parent.

You become a shining example for others to follow by giving them implicit permission to live their lives with passion and purpose; with a deep knowing of how to love and be loved – without subjugation and sacrifice.

You become a magnet for love. So here is your manifesto, ladies: 

Affirmations for The Powerful Woman:

  • I take responsibility for ALL of my experience  I know that I am at the center of everything I experience.

  • I release people and patterns that no longer serve me.

  • I pay attention and honor my body’s signals  when something doesn’t feel right, I change it.

  • I spend my time with other women who lift me up and help me become the woman I aspire to be.

  • I commit to love myself more than any other.

  • I release any negative judgments I have about my body, my current situation or my past decisions.

  • I serve my higher power and myself first.

  • I clear emotional blocks and make room for new thoughts and positive experiences to flow.

  • I know that to fulfill my dream means that at times I will dance with fear and make decisions outside of my comfort zone.

  • I am consistent in my thoughts, my words, and my actions  I am integrated, whole and completely authentic.

  • I open my heart fully to accept the love of another.

  • Love flows freely through me.

  • I choose joy.

If this has ignited a spark in you, let me know, what spoke to you the loudest? What one action will you take now to claim your power?

Deb Boulanger is a coach, author, speaker and retreat leader for smart and accomplished women who want more from life - great health, incredible energy, passionate work and deeply satisfying relationships. She is the creator of The Great Do-Over Retreats where she coaches clients in the basic tenants of how to clear away doubt and fear and live a courageous and rewarding life. She speaks with thousands of women each year through conferences, workshops, and syndicated radio. You can learn more about her practice here.