The 6 Don'ts For A Non Violent Communication


Words can be lethal weapons. Learn how to handle them with care to avoid violence in relationships!

Violence is not limited to the physical realm. Words can be brutal, violent and abusive to a great extent, often without intent.

Projecting violence in words is counterproductive and toxic for the sender as much as for the recipient. MB Rosenberg, the thinker behind non-violent communication, nailed down the 6 communication behaviors we'd better avoid:

  • Label: we classify a person in a category;
  • Put Downs: we deny the qualities of another, or reality, attributing causes to the environment or the context;
  • Reproach, or worse, insult: we assign to others the responsibility for our annoyance, anger, frustration …
  • Merit: we condition action to reward or punishment;
  • Comparison: we evaluate ourselves against other;
  • Demands: we use verbs such as “have to”, “must” … or we use an accusing and threatening “you”.

What these structures have in common is to classify, analyze and evaluate others. Not the best context for a smooth response...

If you seek self-respect, empathy, reciprocal generosity and sincere listening in your relationships (couple, family, friends), try to avoid all of the above!

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