Why You Stay In A Toxic Relationship — Even Though Your Significant Other Hurts You, By Zodiac Sign
You deserve better, star sign.
Alex Iby via @unsplash No one plans to be in a toxic relationship. In fact, your significant other wouldn't have become the most important person in your life if things started off on the wrong foot right away.
How does a toxic relationship start?
When we first initiate relationships, we don’t immediately assume that things are going to blow up and the relationship is going to end.
No, instead we always look on the bright side of things and hope that with positivity, love, and affection that our relationships will last a long time.
Of course, some relationships aren’t meant to last, and it’s up to us to know when it’s time to cut the cord and let go.
That said, it’s not always easy to know when a toxic or positive relationship has run its course. If it were that easy, relationships wouldn’t be nearly as fun and worthwhile as they are.
It’s our feelings and emotions that get us caught up in things that aren’t good for us. Think about your past relationships and how long (or short) it took you to end them.
Was it easy because you had both mutually decided it was time to end it? Or did your breakup drag on forever because you couldn’t seem to let go?
Needless to say, there are a lot of ways our relationships can turn out, and even more reasons why we stay even when we’re not happy. I know from personal experience that it’s so much easier to tell a friend to leave a bad relationship than it is to actually leave one yourself.
Maybe you’re hoping it’s just a blip in your otherwise-happy relationship, or maybe you’re worried that you won’t be able to find someone quite like the person you’re with now.
Whatever the reason is, there’s a psychological explanation for why we stay with significant others who hurt us. As a side note, being “hurt” in a relationship can mean being in an abusive relationship, but it can also mean being in a low-quality relationship with someone.
It may be hard to see what’s going on in your relationship from the inside. Having a support group who will be honest with you helps.
There are a myriad of reasons why we may stay in unfulfilling or worse, a toxic relationship. One of the most common reasons is because our low self-esteem convinces us that we should strive to be happy even while in an unsatisfying relationship.
Even if part of you knows that you deserve better, you may still be convinced that this toxic person is as good as it will get for you.
Other reasons include still having some sense of love or care for your significant other — even if you’re not “in love with them anymore.
Being manipulated in some way to stay in the relationship, or not having any attractive prospects would motivate you to stay and not leave.
When we finally do leave these hurtful and unsatisfying relationships, we realize that we should have made a change a long time ago. But even if things are a lot clearer in retrospect, you know yourself better than you think.
Whenever you feel like you’re being hurt by your significant other or there is a part of you that knows that this unhealthy relationship isn’t doing anything for you anymore, trust your gut.
It may not seem like the best decision at the time, but your mind and body always know what’s best for you, even if you don’t know it just yet.
Keep reading to understand why you stay with your significant other even though your relationship seems to be turning toxic, based on your zodiac sign.
Aries, you stay in a toxic relationship because you don't want to lose.
When it comes to relationships, you prefer the chase more than the catch, unless you find someone really special. Then, you’re all about making it work with this person no matter what.
As an Aries, you love being right all the time, even to a fault. It can be hard to admit when your relationship is on the rocks — or has already failed.
Because you’re stubborn by nature, it’s not easy for you to give up on a relationship that isn’t what it used to be anymore. You may stay with him, even though he hurts you because you’re not ready to admit defeat.
For you, it’s about seeing something through to the end — and things will stay the same until you’re ready to admit it to yourself that it’s time to call it quits.
Taurus, you stay in a toxic relationship because you dislike change.
Change is one of the scariest things for you to embrace, Taurus. Some zodiac signs can go into the unknown with confidence, but you are the kind of person who likes to know what’s waiting for you on the other side before you take the leap.
This is true for your personal, professional, and romantic life. You won’t quit your job unless you have another one secured, and you won’t break up with someone until you have a plan in place for life after love.
You stay with him even though he hurts you because you’re afraid of making a change. It may sound silly, but you would rather be slightly uncomfortable or sad in your relationship than break up and have to face the unknown.
As disappointing or hurtful this relationship may be, it’s familiar. Leaving would mean starting over, dating again, and possibly failing.
Gemini, you stay in a toxic relationship because you like connection.
While you highly value your freedom, Gemini, even in a serious relationship, you can’t help but turn into a puddle of goo just like every other zodiac sign when you find someone you really care about.
As long as your relationship isn’t based on a daily routine that will surely get old after a while, you’re happy. When things start to feel suffocating and generally boring, you’re going to want out ASAP.
As hard as it is to accept that your relationship isn’t as fun and exciting as it once was, it can still be hard for you to let go. You may stay with him even though he hurts you because there’s still a connection between you that you don’t want to give up.
When you’re together, it may be apparent that your relationship is going under. But when you’re apart, your digital connection may be the one thing keeping you two together.
It can be complicated to know when and how to handle a relationship like this, but it’s up to you to figure out what will make you happy.
Cancer, you stay in a toxic relationship because you are loyal.
You’re a sensitive zodiac sign, Cancer, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You have emotional needs that need to be met, which is why you chose your significant other in the first place.
It’s not every day you find someone who really makes you feel loved and valued, so it can be hard to imagine life without this person, no matter what the relationship is like.
You stay with him even though he hurts you because you don’t want your relationship to have an unhappy ending. At one point, this was the person who took care of you and made you feel important.
Even though that dynamic has changed, there’s a part of you that can’t just let go. Part of you hopes that things will turn around and you will be happy together again.
Leo, you stay in a toxic relationship because you love so deeply.
You love being in a relationship, Leo because you have such a big heart and so much love to give. You choose your significant others wisely, as well.
You want to know that the person you’re sharing your life with is going to give as much love as they’re going to get from you. Of course, love isn’t the only thing you dish out in your relationships.
When things are on the rocks between you and your man, you are not afraid to stand up for yourself if he hurts you. But as for leaving? That’s not always as easy.
You stay with him even though he hurts you because you still have feelings for him. Even if you’re not technically together anymore, it can be hard for you to move on from him if things ended before you were ready to let go.
Breaking up and moving on has to be your decision, otherwise, you may find yourself still hung up on him and coming back for more.
Virgo, you stay in a toxic relationship because you don't want to make a hasty decision.
You’re not the kind of person to make off-the-cuff or impulsive decisions, Virgo, especially when it comes to your love life. In fact, you can sometimes treat romantic relationships like business ones if it makes you feel more secure about committing to someone.
So, when your relationship feels like it’s failing, it can become a habit for you to immediately move into a business-like mode to salvage what’s been lost.
You stay with him even though he hurts you because you don’t like failing. When a project goes south at work, you go into damage control to try to save what’s left.
The same is true for your relationship. You want to try to make things right, even if you’re better off calling it quits.
You may eventually come to that decision, but it’s up to you to explore all of your possibilities before accepting that it’s time to let go and move on.
Libra, you stay in a toxic relationship because you want the fairytale ending.
One of your main goals in life is to find a fairytale love, Libra. Life to you isn’t complete without a relationship with someone who makes you feel whole, loved, and special.
When you first met your significant other everything was exciting and thrilling. Now that things have settled into a routine, you’re less likely to get up and leave when things get rocky.
Sure, he may hurt you occasionally, but you’re comfortable with this person and it’s not in your nature to pick a fight or confront him.
The other reason you stay even though he hurts you is that you’re still hoping to find your happily ever after. You may convince yourself that this is just a speed bump on your path to a happy ending, just like in the fairytales.
You’ve read all the books and seen all the movies, and you know that it’s not always happy all the time. You’re hoping this is just a blip and that if you stay things will right themselves again.
Scorpio, you stay in a toxic relationship because you believe in commitment.
It’s very hard for you to open up to others about your feelings, Scorpio, because you're not always comfortable with being vulnerable and exposed.
When you do find someone who makes you feel safe and loved, you hold onto them very tightly — you can’t imagine life without them! Plus, they know all of your secrets, so part of you feels like you can’t let them go in case they tell others things you’ve said in confidence.
You may stay with him even though he hurts you because you’re worried that you won’t find someone nearly as great as him. It took you a long time to open up and let him in, and breaking up would mean putting your heart back under lock and key.
Plus, you can be pretty possessive if you really love someone. Letting go means someone else gets to have him, and you’re not one to give up just like that.
Sagittarius, you stay in a toxic relationship because distance makes you forget the bad times.
Just because you like having your freedom in relationships, Sagittarius, it doesn’t mean that you don’t still have a heart full of love and affection.
When you’re with each other, it feels like a totally run-of-the-mill relationship. When you’re apart, though, you can’t help but think about him at every turn.
You stay even though he hurts you because leaving means thinking about him all the time. Every time you go grocery shopping or have breakfast at your favorite coffee shop or even travel, it’s inevitable that something will bring your thoughts back to him.
In that way, your mind perverts what your relationship was really like, and may even convince you that your relationship was better than it actually was.
Capricorn, you stay in a toxic relationship because you hold on to hope.
Just because you’re intellectually smart, Capricorn, doesn’t mean you don’t make the same mistakes we all do in relationships. When you find someone who admires your motivation and determination to succeed, as well as your “business first” attitude, you hold onto them tight.
It’s nice knowing that you don’t have to change to be someone’s first choice.
That said, all logic and reasoning go out the window when your heart is put on trial. You stay even though he hurts you because you're afraid you won’t be able to find another connection quite like this again.
You know it sounds silly, but there's a part of you that’s nervous it could be true. So, you go back to him again and again, hoping this time will be different.
Aquarius, you stay in a toxic relationship because you are a true friend.
For a relationship to really work for you, Aquarius, you need to build a foundation as friends before anything romantic can happen. Otherwise, it just feels like a one-night stand to you.
There’s nothing wrong with having preferences when it comes to your relationships, but it’s important to remember that your brain can’t be the only one you turn to when you need help – your heart is just as capable.
You may stay even though he hurts you because your friendship has never wavered. Sure, a friend would never hurt someone they truly care about, but you find yourself separating your relationships and friendships in your mind.
To you, your relationship with him may be tanking but your friendship isn’t, so you convince yourself that things must be okay between you deep down.
Pisces, you stay in a toxic relationship because you believe in love.
Your relationship is very special to you because you’re with someone who makes you feel like all of your secrets – your vulnerabilities, fears, and dreams – are safe with him.
Why would you ever go looking for someone else when all you could ever want is right here in this one man.
You stay even though he hurts you because you are a Pisces. Your sign is two fish swimming in opposite directions, representing the fact that you can be hot and cold at the same time.
One minute, you’re hot for him and your relationship feels like it did the first time you started dating. The next, you feel hurt and want out of the relationship ASAP.
Your mind and your feelings play tricks on you all the time, and it’s hard for you to know which part of you to trust.
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Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment and feminism, and knows that anything is possible in the right pair of shoes.