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It's not you, it's love.
By Christine Schoenwald — Written on Jan 12, 2018
Do you feel cursed when it comes to love? Do you ever ask yourself, "Why can't I find love"? No matter what you do, you never seem to be able to hold on to a relationship that’s moving toward commitment.
Each of your relationships crashes and burns every time you think you’re getting close to being loved. It hurts when your intended suddenly decides that you’re not the one and disappears, never to be heard from again. It’s disheartening, to say the least, when you make every effort and really put yourself out there, only to find that instead of your forever person, you have heartbreak and pain.
Now, you know that you can have an amazing life when you’re single and that you don’t need anybody to complete you, it’s just that it’s annoying to constantly discover that you and your potential partner were on two completely different pages. You like to have fun, but just once you’d like to be in love and to know with certainty that your feelings were returned.
When you’re one of the zodiac signs who can't find love, it can chip away at your self-esteem and confidence. If you’re the whole package, why do you never get the kind of love that you desire?
You want to know what is it about you that scares people off and what are you doing wrong. Love shouldn't be that difficult but for you, but it seems impossible.
You may be clueless as to why you’re so unlucky in love, but astrology and even a look at your daily horoscope may hold the answer. Here are the zodiac signs who can't find love and how each sign has their own way of repelling true love.
ARIES (March 21 - April 19)
Aries, your interest level is extremely short. You can be entirely enthralled by someone and then completely bored by them. It's not just people; it's activities and passions.
Not every moment of a relationship is fun, but you have to get through them to get to the good stuff. You get bored way too easily and then you lose what little patience you have left. When you get antsy, you get reckless and impulsive, and suddenly you're breaking up with someone that you thought might be the one.
TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)
Most of the time, Taurus, you're a perfectly wonderful person, but sometimes you can be quite the beast. You tend to be rude and completely oblivious to other people's feelings.
Then there are the times when you're stubborn and possessive. You won't listen to reason or see things from someone else's perspective, and your potential partner feels as if you don't care what they feel nor will you make any kind of compromise to improve your relationship. You need to deal with your control issues before you can engage in a loving partnership.
GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini, You suffer from FOMO, so that you get close to making a commitment, you start to wonder if you're making the best decision. What if there's someone out there who is a better match for you, or what if your partner can't satisfy you sexually for the next forty years?
You'd hate to decide on someone and have it backfire on you. You tend to not be clear on what it is that you really want, so you put up road-blocks for yourself. You might go through the motions of looking for love, but if you actually found the perfect person, you panic that you or they weren't good enough.
CANCER (June 21 - July 22)
You don't just wear your heart on your sleeve, Cancer, you wear it on your entire body. You're so sensitive and tend to make people feel as if they might upset you without meaning to. You're an emotional minefield, and you tend to deal with things emotionally rather than logically.
It's fantastic that you're in touch with your emotions and are empathetic to the feelings of others, but you need to develop a thicker skin. People need to feel as if they can be themselves without worrying that they might inadvertently upset you.
LEO (July 23 - August 22)
Leo, you're amazing, yet you always wonder, "Why can't I find love?" The thing is, being in a relationship with you can be exhausting. You want constant praise and attention, and when you don't get it, your ego gets hurt.
You need to realize that you don't need anybody else's validation. You can still thrive even if you're not getting the attention you think you can't live without. You know how to act confident, so all you have to do is to believe it.
VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)
You have very high standards for yourself and others, Virgo, and you wonder why every time you've had love, it's slipped out of your hands. The truth is it's very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who has a black belt in fault-finding.
No one enjoys being judged and criticized, even when they ask for your comments. It's not being dishonest if you tone it down a notch and give constructive criticism with a light brushing of positivity over it, instead of slamming them for their faults and failures.
LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)
You want to believe it when someone says they love you, but you don't. You're suspicious, Libra. It's not that you think you're unlovable, it's that you have a deep-seated insecurity.
You like to test people to make sure they mean what they say when they declare their love. But how many tests do you have to make before you believe what they're saying? Because most of the time, people get tired of trying to prove their love and just leave.
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)
It seems as if you make the smallest issues into something bigger, as you're very confrontational and combative. Not everyone is up for sparring with you. You seem to find confrontation energizing and stimulating, Scorpio, but that's not how your partners feel — they feel attacked.
Your intensity is powerful and amazing when it's positive, but when it's not, it's kind of frightening. Your high drama tends to scare off potential mates. You have a ton of charm when you want, so focus on making people feeling comfortable, not afraid for their life.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)
Listen jumpy pants, not everybody is cool with the no-commitment philosophy that you have, Sagittarius. To get ultimate love, you're going to have to make some compromises and do the work that's expected in relationships.
No one is saying that you can never travel, it's just that you need to make spending time with your beloved a priority and you can skip town when things get serious. You know you enjoy the romantic and fun side of love, you just need to accept the other parts too.
CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)
You need to let your guard down or no one will be able to see your vulnerability and who you really are. Capricorn, you're so afraid of being romantically conned or hurt that you come off as very defensive and rigid.
It tends not to work when someone tells you to relax, but maybe you can fool yourself enough to loosen up so that you can let someone in. You're very lovable and deserve love (as do we all), but if you keep shutting down anyone who attempts to get close to you, you're going to have a problem.
AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)
If only you could be in love with someone and have them love you back without ever having to confess your love. Aquarius, you're not exactly comfortable with feelings, but love is a very strong emotion that practically demands to be expressed.
You can't expect someone to love you if you won't allow them to do so. The more you work at being able to handle emotions, the closer you'll get to being able to have the kind of relationship you've dreamed of having.
PISCES (February 19 - March 20)
You spent so much time in love/fantasy-mode, that you can't even recognize love when it's right in front of your face. Love isn't like how the romantic comedies present it — love is messy, challenging, and sometimes completely annoying.
The secret is that when love is wonderful, there's nothing like it on earth, and it's all the irritating and tedious parts of love that makes the rest of it so glorious. Take your rose-colored glasses off, Pisces, and you might be able to see the unexpected ways in which love is amazing.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and teacher who loves writing and performing personal narratives. She's had pieces in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Woman's Day, Purple Clover, Bustle, and is a regular contributor to Ravishly and YourTango. Check out her website or her Facebook page.